Best Actress [Paperback]

John Kane (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 20, 1998

One of the five "Best Actress" nominees would kill for an Oscar. . . .

Fiona Covington--This lovely English rose wowed the world with her portrayal of a repressed lesbian nanny in a bold retelling of Mary Poppins. But her personal life is a far cry from Merchant-Ivory material.

Amber Lyons--Three years ago she was folding khakis at the Gap. Now she's Hollywood's hottest discovery, with a passion for rock stars--and a problem the tabloids won't ignore.

Connie Travatano--This well-preserved diva is a sentimental shoe-in--
if her notorious addictions to sex, vodka, and shoplifting don't get in the way.

Lori Seefer--By playing a scientist who injected herself with a serum that left her deaf, dumb, and blind, Lori nabbed a nomination with ease. But her most difficult role will be playing it straight in public.

Karen Kroll--Porn star turned serious actress, her insane ambition and steamy blond looks hide a career-wrecking secret.

For one nominee, it's all or nothing. If she doesn't win, she'll reach into her Chanel purse, pull out the pearl-handled revolver, point it at the stage of the Shrine Auditorium, and shoot the tramp who's been named Best Actress right between the eye tucks. . . .

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

It's Oscar time and five nominees for Best Actress anxiously wait for the big night. All of them have skeletons in their walk-in closets, but one has rummaged through hers to get a gun for her Chanel bag. Veteran Hollywood flak Kane keeps his eyebrows firmly arched as he dishes out his tale of intrigue among Hollywood's oversexed and underoccupied, filling in the back story of each contender bit by juicy bit. Most of the fun is in figuring out who is based on whom. Although actual names and places are scattered along the way, made-up details tend toward the grotesque, and the venom-tongued narrative is less imaginatively wicked or high-spirited than recent L.A. gossip-fests like Bruce Wagner's I'm Losing You, Christian McLaughlin's Sex Toys of the Gods or Gary Indiana's Resentment. Kane's addition to this crowded field is funny and catty, but a little goes a long way: the mystery subplot is just a pretext for skewering the characters, and Kane's isn't the sharpest skewer in the drawer.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Kirkus Reviews

A debut satire/thriller by former p.r. specialist and film and television writer Kane. The five women nominated for the best actress Oscar turn out to have some pretty weird secrets. We know from the first page that one of them will, if she loses, shoot the actress who wins it. Kane doesn't deny us this scene, or the frenzy following: ``Arnold Schwarzenegger elbowed Tom Hanks and stepped on Julia Roberts's hand. Jodie Foster jumped over Tom Cruise and held onto the train of Jessica Lange's gown. Jack Nicholson leaned back and lit up a joint.'' The five actresses are Britain's Fiona Covington, married to the Shakespearean actor-director Colin Tromans (read Emma Thompson and Kenneth Branagh); reduced to orgasmic impotence after starring in a sleazy lesbian remake of Mary Poppins, Fiona is losing husband Colin to big-busted nominee Karen Kroll, an ex-porn star who recently played an American nun raped in El Salvador (in a Costa-Gavras film) and now wants to play Lady MacBeth to Colin's Big Mac; talented singer Connie Travatano (read Streisand), who hasn't performed in public in ten years and, when she's nominated, offers to sing at a presidential ceremony honoring Vietnam vets, only to damage her vocal cords severely while sword-swallowing her monstrously outsized Mexican houseboy; Lori Seefer, a lesbian fearful of exposure of her love life; and Amber Lyons, a vacuous former Gap salesgirl whose independent film won at Sundance and hit big-time. All are seen at their absolute worst: Sex is largely the stuff of pratfalls, while suicide, shoplifting, alcoholism, and drug addiction are thrown in for chuckles. Kane, unfortunately, lacks empathy for his characters of the kind that Michael Tolkin displayed in his novel The Player, where a murder is also the focal incident and real Hollywood folk fill in as background figures. Thinly amusing at best. Hard covers wouldn't have tarted it up. -- Copyright ©1998, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 275 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books; 1st edition (January 20, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345420713
• ISBN-13: 978-0345420718
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.1 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (18 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,741,076 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars A So-So Read, April 11, 1998

By A Customer

This review is from: Best Actress (Paperback)

After reading Amazon.com readers' reviews for "Best Actress," I bought it as it sounded like a fun read. Murder, movies, divas, Oscars...rich fodder for Hollywood Hilarity, right? Wrong...or, at least, not in this fluffy novel. It's not bad; it's merely so-so, mildly amusing. I do not recommend it.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Doesn't Live Up To Its Potential, May 27, 1998

By 

Louis Higgins "Louis Higgins" (Minneapolis, MN) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Best Actress (Paperback)

The cover and synopsis of this book made me think I was in for one giant treat! I expected the story to give me the seedy, albeit humorous, side of Hollywood. (Is there another side?) However, early on I realized that while this was an entertaining read, there wasn't much substance to it. The story was a bit trite and artificially put together. I enjoyed the characters and definitely found myself laughing at times, but overall, I didn't buy it.

5.0 out of 5 stars More backstabbing and bitchiness than "Dynasty", October 19, 2004

By 

gac1003 "gac1003" (Long Beach, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Best Actress (Paperback)

Five interesting women are nominated for the "Best Actress" Oscar: Fiona Covington, who portrayed a lesbian nanny in a re-telling of "Mary Poppins" and whose personal life just took a turn for the worse; Amber Lyons, the newcomer with a serious drug problem; Connie Travatano, the sentimental favorite whose run-ins with the law could be a problem; Lori Seefer, who desparately wants to keep her private life - and her lover Maria - a secret from the publicity hounds; and Karen Kroll, a known former porn star with a dirty little secret of her own. All of these women want that statuette. But only one is willing to kill for it.

This is by far one of the cattiest, sharpest, most fun novel about the entertainment industry I have ever read! It begins with the morning that the nominees are announced and from then on, it's a roller coaster ride into the personal lives of the 5 nominees. It's chock full of nasty publicists, writers who will do anything to get a scoop, and enough bitchiness and backstabbing to put "Dynasty" to shame. Author John Kane even has the characters interacting with the rich and famous like Goldie Hawn and Liza Minelli to keep things interesting. He's also thrown in enough clues and red herrings to keep you guessing until the very end whodunnit. This book is mindless entertainment, but it's so much fun!!!