Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend [Paperback]

Irene S. Levine (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1, 2009

For the first time, a guide for women recovering from a breakup with their best friend-an indispensable addition to every woman's library

Men, jobs, children, personal crises, irreconcilable social gaps-these are just a few of the strange and confusing reasons that may cause a female friendship to end. No matter what the circumstances, the breakup of a female friendship leaves a woman devastated and asking herself difficult questions. Was someone to blame? Is the friendship worth fighting for? How can I prevent this from ever happening again?

Psychologist Irene S. Levine, Ph.D., offers this groundbreaking and heroically honest book for abandoned friends seeking solace. Perfect for women of all ages and from all walks of life, Best Friends Forever covers:

Why friendships fall apart
Coping with getting dumped
How to end a friendship that can't be fixed
Moving forward after a traumatizing breakup

Dr. Levine draws from years of research and the personal testimonials of thousands of women to provide anecdotes and solutions to these complicated situations. Full of tools for personal assessment, case stories, and actionable advice for saving, ending, or re-evaluating a relationship, Best Friends Forever is an indispensable addition to every woman's library.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Levine's first book is a formidable resource for negotiating the ending of women's friendships. The author, a journalist, psychologist and professor at NYU Medical School, affirms that the grief of ending a close friendship can be as potent as that of a dying romantic relationship. But the former rarely garners the same social support as a divorce or romantic breakup. Levine cites studies indicating that women's friendships are more intense than men's, nurtured through shared intimacy and reciprocity. But friendships are not static, she explains—over time, they can wax and wane and end. Levine's seven stages of grief are loosely reminiscent of the Kübler-Ross grief model, but include new elements: Self Blame, Embarrassment and Shame and Relief. Full of hints for being a consistently thoughtful friend, for resuscitating your closest friendship or knowing when to end it, this book is part etiquette guide, part grief manual. Whether your friendship sputtered because of physical distance or your best friend slept with your boyfriend, Levine deftly assures us that although the pain can be strong, the sorrow will pass. (Sept.)
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Review

"For anyone who has ever had a friend, but especially for those who've ended close relationships, Irene Levine has written a beautiful guide to recovery and healing. It's a book filled with honest reflections and heartfelt advice." -Jeffrey Zaslow, New York Times bestselling author of The Girls from Ames and co-author of The Last Lecture

"Finally, a book that helps you get through the other type of breakup." -Andrea Lavinthal and Jessica Rozler, authors of Friend or Frenemy?

"The end of a friendship is painful and sad, regardless of the circumstances. Dr. Irene Levine explores this difficult subject with insight and heart, plus a look at the latest research. Her guidance is especially interesting and helpful regarding Facebook and other new developments that are changing the meaning of friendship in today's world." -Florence Isaacs, author of Toxic Friends/True Friends and What Do You Say When...

"Dr. Irene Levine's Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend should be every woman's BFF! Written in a breezy yet thoughtful style and peppered with stories from real-life best friends, this guide shows that female friendships are rich, life-affirming, joyful-but often very complicated too. We women love our friends, but we feel completely alone and confused when those friendships get troubled or even disappear. In her unique self-help guide, Dr Levine gives essential advice and tips for navigating the ups and downs of female friendship. -Joanne Rendell, author of The Professors Wives Club and Crossing Washington Square

A Best Friends Forever explodes the myths about female friendships and is a readable, entertaining survival manual filled with practical advice for girls and women of all ages. The book reminds us that it is the nature of relationships to change over time, and helps us understand and cope with those changes. We don't expect to marry our elementary school sweethearts, and it is equally rare for our best friends from childhood to be there for us forever. This book will help you navigate the choppy waters that complicate friendships, advise you on how to salvage the friendships that can and should be saved, and guide you to move on when necessary.  -Diana Zuckerman, PhD, Psychologist, President, National Research Center for Women & Families

A fractured friendship can be as painful as any other break-up, whether you've been jilted by a friend or been the one to do the jilting. Irene S. Levine understands the complications of friendship-the lulls, the obstacles, and yes, the dissolutions, and offers kind, practical and realistic tools to recover from a break-up and emerge strong, healthy and complete." -Allison Winn Scotch, New York Times bestselling author of Time of My Life

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Product Details

• Paperback: 288 pages
• Publisher: Overlook TP; First Edition edition (September 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1590200403
• ISBN-13: 978-1590200407
• Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (29 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #13,189 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars great book and cheaper than therapy!, February 21, 2010

By 

merlot (Texas) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend (Paperback)

I stumbled on this book after I found the authors blog. I was having a difficult time with a friendship that had suffered yet another major disappointment. I didn't want to depend on other friends or my mother to help me work it out. This book was perfect. It's written by a therapist who has unique insight into the dynamics of female friendships. She talks about how the dynamics of female relationships but the majority of the book is about what to do when things go bad. It's not at all academic but there are some interesting facts and tips throughout the book for added insight. There are numerous examples and short stories of different types of friendship challenges that remind you how common it is for female friendships to have problems. She offers very objective advice on how to navigate through issues and offers suggestions on when to save a relationship, how to prevent issues as much as possible and what to do if it's best to let a toxic friendship go. She closes by discussing how you can use a bad situation to make better friendship choices in the future. I found this book to be invaluable and much better than trying to discuss my hurtful situation with other friends, my mother or even a therapist. On the surface it could seem like there isn't a need for a book on this topic but for any woman that has had a major issue witha female friend this is a very helpful, unbiased book. I gained a lot of clarity about the relationship that caused me to seek out the book as well as some other female relationships in my life. Ironically, as I was reading the book I began developing a relationship with a new female friend that I have lots in common with and again the insight in this book helped me feel comfortable getting to know this new friend and not feeling distrustful or negative based on my recent situation. I would highly recommend this book to anyone having a struggle with a female friendship.

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Indispensable!, October 9, 2009

By 

Happy Reader (Larchmont,, NY USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend (Paperback)

As the mother of three grown daughters, I can testify that there are few issues that are more important to women than the strength of their friendships. Irene Levine has provided us with a very valuable book that I wish I had had years ago. It explains why our female friendships are so important to us, and when they are worth maintaining--and even more important, when it's okay to let go.

I will give a copy of Dr. Levine's book to each of my daughters as it answers so many of the questions we have mulled over during the past years: "How could she say that?" "How could she do that?" "Should I still go with her family for the weekend anyway?" The book is perfect for women of all ages!

17 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars What an eye opener!, September 23, 2009

By 

Cristina Uribe "curibe" (Miami, FL United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Best Friends Forever: Surviving a Breakup with Your Best Friend (Paperback)

This book came at a critical time in my life when I was trying to reconcile with a friend I dumped. Unfortunately, I didn't get forgiven and this book really helped me start on the road towards closure. Even though I was the "dumper" and have kicked myself many times throughout the years, reading Dr. Levine's book was a breath of fresh air. It was very non-judgemental towards anyone who has ever broken off a relationship with a friend for whatever reason, be it petty or justified. Needless to say, I highly recommend this book to anyone who has been dumped by a friend and to anyone who has broken off a friendship. There is a myth of "best friends forever" and knowing that it's just a myth and people change helps me cope with the end of my friendship. Thank you Dr. Levine!