Customer Reviews

The Best of Friends: Martha and Me

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(8)
3 star:		(6)
2 star:		(7)
1 star:		(16)

 

 

It is said the rich are different, and if reading this book is any proof that is correct. Mariana Pasternak is intelligent and eloquent, very smart and knows the designers, the correct food and artists and music. Her turn of phrase and descriptions are rich too; "winters long and sharp as shards of glass."
She enjoys the lifestyle of travel and good food and eloquent company - she and Martha seem to have been made to be friends.
As you read, even from the beginning few pages the qualms sneak in: the way Martha holds her glass out to be taken and many times Mariana states how she notices how very few friends Martha has and how she tends only to talk to men. As time goes on she questions if her daughters are even safe in Martha's company, one time using irritating face paint on them and another goading them into using a watercraft they had never been on before to skim around piranha infested waters. Mariana does not say anything at either time to Martha that would endanger this friendship between them.
Mariana says that their friendship put a strain on her marriage, but she chooses Martha many times over again, over what she thinks are fair accountings in their money dealings, over their travel expenses, over dinner bills and much else.
It isn't what I would call a friendship, but they both served a purpose in each other's lives. Mariana gets a good lifestyle and experiences for her daughters, Martha has a companion and 2 girls to have a way of life experiences with. They seem to be good company for each other until the end in the courtroom where of course their `friendship' is irrevocably ripped apart.
We all know what to expect from these books, the gossip and insider knowledge of what is going on in another `world'. Mariana delivers those stories in the incidents she relates of Martha's extreme actions and arguments with her neighbors, her quest for a male partner after Andy's departure; with whom Mariana seems to have developed an adoration of. She describes how he wears a walkman because he is the sort of person who wanted to bring music close to his soul. Of course Martha screams at him for wearing it.
In her viewpoint, Andy was the one responsible for Martha's success.

As with all relationships there are two sides to every story, this is not Martha's but another's viewpoint. It will give you her view of a world that most of us, who read it will not live in, so that in some ways is interesting and what holds the fascination. If you want a gossipy book about the Martha Stewart life this is it

I enjoyed this book mostly because it offers a behind the scenes look at Martha's houses, lifestyle and trips. I thought it was fascinating to learn how she bought her houses, decorated them, and furnished them. I also enjoyed reading about the amazing trips she took. For me, these things were the highlight of the book. I found some of the story a bit unbelievable. The author claims to have had doubts and misgivings about Martha for years, yet did nothing. She even writes about Martha "endangering" her children yet she didn't say a single word or do anything to stop it. It's hard to believe. Her account of the trial and the events leading up to it also seem a bit questionable. There is a lot of convoluted reasoing and explanations about what she said at the trial and what she actually MEANT.

Her characterizations of Martha, while often negative, do match what others have said. And honestly, I'm not sure how you get to be Martha Stewart without being a bit cold, calculating, and tough. And I have to say, after closely observing Martha's public persona for over a year for my blog [...], these characteristics do peek through as you watch her on her show and on interviews she does. She's a tough cookie and a very powerful woman. I did think it interesting that the author talks about Martha's loneliness and search for love, which I find poignant and believable. All in all I thought this was a good read because of the glimpse it gives you into Martha's homes, trips, and lifestyle. I wasn't as much interested in the 'who said what to whom' aspect of this.

This book while interesting disturbs me. It seems that Pasternak freely uses Stewart to live the life of the rich, and while allowing herself to be used and compromised, never stands up to Stewart even when Pasternak's children are allegedly endangered.
Aside from rather sophomoric inclusions of philosophers, artists, designers, sycophants and parasites, the author NEVER refers to her husband (or her other relationship) by name (a legal issue?). The stilting and constant use of "fiancé", "husband to be", "husband", "lover" etc. are annoying.
Stewart may have been toxic, but Pasternak allowed, if not fostered, Stewart's behavior by tolerating it.

Mariana Pasternak comes across as type of person who would sell her soul to appear on a "Real Housewives" show...but this parvenu's desperate social climbing is too crude even for the shameless yentas of RHNY. No, it's among the loud, lardy New Jersey ladies and their Paramus Provincial homes that the vulgar Pasternak fits seamlessly.

"I always wear a Hermes scarf," Mme. Pasternak informs us throughout her book -- causing most readers to immediately donate theirs to Good Will. Envious, petty, and downright nasty, she betrays a friendship with Martha Stewart in the hope of making a fast buck off of this poor excuse for a book.

Knocking Martha has become a cottage industry. There must be a whole wing of publishing dedicated to it. Even the justice department--feeling that this woman had gotten too big for her britches--had to take Stewart down a peg or two, sending her to jail for the type of monetary misdemeanor that the Wall Street boys pull every morning over coffee and danish.

This book offers plenty of info about Pasternak...none of it interesting, but very little about Martha Stewart. Pasternak rehashes some old news and gets most of it wrong despite the fact that she obviously cribbed a lot of her stuff directly from other sources.

I do not sew, neither do I rip -- nor baste or hem. I barely know where my kitchen is and hire professionals when it's time to use Scotch tape. Even so, I love Martha Stewart. The woman is indomitable, a true survivalist. Comes armageddon, Martha could literally rebuild society, house by house. And decorate it. She even managed to turn jailtime into a positive publicity junket.

At an age when even the most successful women are discarded, she's still on top of her game and on top of the marketing and merchandising tsunami she created almost singlehandedly. She is responsible for making countless men and women comfortable wielding an icing spatula, a welding torch or a roto-tiller. I don't believe that we'd have celebrity chefs, emerging regional cuisines, Cleveland becoming a restaurant destination city (!), farmer's markets and all those cooking and home/garden television shows had it not been for Martha's pioneering efforts. Good for her! And how many thousands and thousands of new jobs did that little revolution create, I wonder. Don't knock the lady from Nutley. She's a good thing.

(And what do you want to bet that Pasternak's Hermes scarves are knock-offs?)

I really enjoyed reading this book. First, it was a peek under the covers of one of the most talented and driven people in business, Martha Stewart. Granted, it was from one woman's perspective but it sounded much like what others have said about her behavior through the years. Behavior aside, she has contributed much to our culture in terms of the fine art of living graciously when much of it had been pushed aside. It was fun to pick it back up again according to our own choices and we owe that to Martha.

Many famous people have difficult personalities and bend the rules a little. Martha was just one of them who got caught. There are many guys running around on Wall Street and in our banking systems who actually really hurt The USA. Martha wasn't one of them. However, she broke the law and served her time. Would that we could get everyone who does that into federal prison.

The author of the book had a strange dependent relationship with Martha that could be labeled as pathologic for both women. How many of us would hang around to be used and abused for friendship? This went on for years. There was obviously a payoff for her in some way that let her continue to be a whipped puppy.

So we have two people in this story, one a frequent friend abuser and another staying around to be abused. Both lived the high and interesting life. That's what makes this story so interesting. I'd like to see someone make a good accurate psychological drama out of this book. It would be amazing!

In Mariana Pasternak's book, "The Best of Friends," she chronicles her twenty-year friendship with Martha Stewart--whose brand in homemaking has grown from strength to strength, overshadowed only by Stewart's scandals. In her book, Pasternak reveals Martha's private sides---the woman behind the brand. Fresh from Romania and recently married, Pasternak meets Stewart, who has just moved in with her husband and they form a neighborly bond. Their friendship evolves as that of couples, though Pasternak ironically realizes that she has more in common with Martha's husband Andy, than with her own husband. Eventually, Andy leaves Martha for a younger woman--despite being the one to propel Martha toward her initial stardom, which included the launch of her first cookbook and a hefty merchandising deal with Kmart. After some time, Mariana divorces her own husband, citing Martha as one of their main sources of conflict.

And it is as two single women, that Martha and Pasternak form their strongest friendship. As Stewart reaches new professional heights, Pasternak trades in her engineering job for that of a realtor. Being Martha's friend demands expensive taste--and Mariana constantly struggles to keep up. The two travel together to exotic places like Peru and Egypt, where Martha's penchant for danger shapes their journeys. Despite Stewart's popular image as the successful housewife, she is shown as having a different side to her. Pasternak reveals Martha's intimate sides that counter her professional image---that of a competitive friend, a fearless traveler whose experiences serve as work inspirations, the betrayed girlfriend who throws a scene when her wealthy entrepreneur boyfriend cheats on her with a young blonde, the lonely ex-wife who strives to get her husband back, and finally the smart businesswoman whose career suffers when she gets involved in the insider-dealings Wall Street scandal. Bonuses like Martha's personal house-decorating experiences are also included.

Overall, I thought the book was well-written. The language is very descriptive, and it tends to make you feel like you're participating in the action. Pasternak and Martha are no longer friends, but the book serves as an interesting reminder that sometimes friendships don't work out for a variety of reasons, and it depends on both parties to rescue it before it disappears from their lives--becoming nothing but an account of their shared past.

This book was well written and super interesting. It all read as perfectly true to life and insightful. Easy to see how a regular person could be caught up in Martha's world but, not being Martha, it could also be difficult to be exposed to that grand life without the cash to fund it. Plus Martha didn't seem too inclined to share or even too generous. The only part that seemed a little hazy was the legal wrangling at the end. Somehow none of that rang exactly true to me. The author remembered the color of the ducks on Martha's socks 15 years before but couldn't remember who said what about the stock deal. I read a lot and this book had me rushing home from work to read the next chapter. It was a fun look into an interesting life.

I like Martha, so am tempted to talk up this book as the deliciously informative and detailed tell-all that many who would consider buying it might hope it would be.

Why? Because anyone who possesses a modicum of intelligence and an ability to discern the difference between facts versus a jealous friend's fantasy will almost certainly end up holding Ms. Stewart in higher regard after reading it.

Pasternak's distasteful effort to harm her former friend will be defended by those who reflexively detest any person who also happens to be wealthy or famous, and who believe cruel and spiteful treatment of celebrities or other successful and prominent people is deserved and justified, regardless of an individual's character, deeds, or social contribution (all of which, incidentally, usually remain largely unknown to the public). The blind resentment on the part of fans of the "garbage genre" into which this book is most accurately classified will not permit them to recognize one glaring and simple reality readily evident to ethical people: Mariana Pasternak sold the confidences of a generous and kind close friend to Harper Collins for cash. The very existence of this book establishes Pasternak's fundamental character and motives, and no one could intelligently regard her as either a credible arbiter of any other person's character or a reliable source for truthful accounts of events.

If money could motivate Pasternak to betray a close friend, she would have no trouble deliberately "misreading," coloring, embellishing, exaggerating or otherwise distorting the truth to maximize her financial reward. The idea that an ethical line would be drawn at "betrayal" is laughable, and only the most intellectually deficient or willfully gullible would regard her portrayal of a long-term association with Ms. Stewart as reliable.

The book is not juicy, interesting, or otherwise entertaining unless one's emotional development stalled at around the age of 12. Early on, it becomes clear that there is something not "fully formed" about this author, and one might even feel a bit sorry for her if the degree of malice and volume of fang-dripping venom oozing forth on nearly every page did not simultaneously reveal that Mariana Pasternak is, independent of her odd psychology, a treacherous human being.

Aside from the dubious accounts of Pasternak's relationship with Ms. Stewart, be prepared for ENDLESS pages of immaterial filler throughout the book. You will get a Wikipedia-type lesson on the origin, history, ecology, or mythology of every building, rock, animal, tree, painting, sculpture, and objet d'art mentioned, as well as every location at which they are observed. All of this (completely irrelevant) information is easily accessible via Google (as are old accounts of nearly all of the "interesting" events involving Martha herself).

Detailed descriptions of exteriors and interiors of Martha's homes are useless as well, since photos and videos have been available for years, accompanied by better descriptions. But a book as unsubstantial as this requires lots and lots of padding so the rubes will be convinced by the weight and thickness of it that they're getting something for their money.

A typical example: Apropos of absolutely nothing, a chapter begins with a description of a solar phenomenon that takes place in a particular year. The description of the phenomenon goes on and on and on, until finally Pasternak flakily discloses: "I wondered if somehow Martha was affected by the solar storm phenomenon, which had been reported to occur throughout the prior year. It certainly seemed like the MSLO stock was being affected."

On top of page after page of this mind-numbingly boring and irrelevant filler, the paint-by-number ghostwriter's prose is also dull and grating - "correct" in construction but utterly void of any creativity, style or interest.

The book did make me laugh on occasion, but only because Pasternak is about as subtle as a sledgehammer in her efforts to convince readers she is something other than a backstabbing parasite. For example, she tells a story of giving a tiny puppy mouth-to-mouth...oh, after she saved him from a fire. Yes, that's really in there, and no, it has nothing to do with anything, including Martha Stewart.

Another example of Pasternak's martyrdom versus Ms. Stewart's malevolence: "Martha invited me to choose any room I liked where my girls and I could stay whenever we wanted. I didn't want to impose so I chose two smaller rooms connected by a bathroom - not prime rooms with fireplace, balcony, or water views."

You, Mariana...are a saint.

Meanwhile, throughout the book Pasternak repeatedly blames Ms. Stewart for all of her own failures, including her failed marriage. You see, Martha's friendship was too time-consuming and Pasternak's husband resented it. It's not possible that he discovered over time that his wife was fundamentally deceitful and disloyal. Is it?

If causing Pasternak's husband to divorce her was not enough, Ms. Stewart later made Pasternak's boyfriend break up with her! How? See, Mariana was freeloading in Martha's beautiful home, and Mariana decided not to sleep with the boyfriend in his separate room. He subsequently left her, which of course was because of that decision that night. Which, naturally, was Martha Stewart's fault.

(Word, Mariana...If you want to sleep with your boyfriend without offending your gracious host, maybe you should pay for a hotel room.)

Oh, and this part is really important: See, Martha Stewart would try to kill Pasternak's kids when Mom wasn't looking. Pasternak tells a story about Ms. Stewart allowing her teenagers to ride on a jet ski even though neither had ever ridden a motorcycle. And that wasn't the only close call. This was a pattern on Martha's part. Get this - when Pasternak's children were younger, Martha was having their faces painted for a show. The face painters applied red paint to the child's eyebrow and cheek, even though the label said red paint should not be used on the eyes! Mariana vowed never to leave her children alone with Martha Stewart again.

Another of the stranger aspects of Pasternak's personality is a paranoid belief that plagued her, namely that Martha Stewart concerned herself with which of the two women would "get a man" first.

What's the proof that such a competition exists outside of Mariana Pasternak's head? Well, once when Martha invited Mariana on yet another exotic trip, and Mariana said she couldn't afford it at the time, Martha offered to sell a beaded purse for Mariana to cover some of the cost and then pay for the rest. Which, of course meant that Martha was upset because Mariana's boyfriend gave them the beaded purses at a party.

Follow that?

Pasternak tries to convince readers she has "learned from her journey." Sure she has. She's learned in the same way someone who delivers an apology after getting caught in whatever bad behavior prompted it "learned."

The parties, fun, and financing Martha had generously provided her dried up for Pasternak after Martha's trial - and THEN she had her Road to Damascus moment. Pure coincidence.

Of course the author tries to head off suspicion about the convenient timing of her epiphany by repeatedly claiming every few chapters that she was conscious that something was amiss throughout the relationship. But only the most gullible reader would buy that, given the proof of her actions over many years - not a single one of which ever backs up her cheap, self-pitying, self-serving words.

This book might entertain and convince the overly-credulous who are not particularly adept at critical reading and thinking, or those who who might share Pasternak's character - that of a parasite who would use a generous friend for years, then think nothing of trying to make a buck off of that former friendship once her freeloading days had been cut short (all while professing the capacity to recognize the high road, much less travel it).

But everyone else will be bored by Pasternak's banality and repulsed by her capacity for backstabbing, without gaining any new insight into the lifestyle or personality of Martha Stewart.

Once readers slog past all of the long, tedious descriptions of...everything having nothing to do with the subject of this book...as well as the fantasy passages in which Pasternak imagines what Ms. Stewart and others "might" have been doing and thinking in certain situations - most will quickly recognize that, in terms of shedding light on the most interesting aspect of Pasternak's life (Martha Stewart), there is simply no "there" here.

The funniest quote in the book: "Martha often counted on me to help her evaluate her new acquaintances. She knew she could trust me, that I cared about her, not her money."

LOL, Mariana Pasternak. LOL.

Tsk, tsk. It becomes obvious very early on in this book that the author wrote it to tell the world why she is - unjustly - no longer a part of Martha's inner circle. According to Pasternak, for 20 years she was the perfect friend: non-judgmental, undemanding, never questioning, always good company, always available, always deferring to Martha's wishes even when it might harm her children or prevent her from finding a new husband. And while she admits that being in Martha's circle provided her entree to meeting the rich and powerful, she also points her finger at Martha as being a contributing factor in her divorce, among other downfalls. Her rambling commentary depicts her chagrin when she'd receive a bill so quickly from Martha's office after an exotic vacation trip, but she seems to take for granted all the free weekends at Martha's various homes, all the free star-studded dinners, all the free transportation by air and private driver, all the fun of being so close to a larger-than-life personality, and all the probable real estate business the author attracted because of her association with Martha. While Pasternak pats herself on the back all through the book, Martha is criticized for her egocentric characteristics, traits which are often found in ambitious high achievers and which should be either managed or forgiven by friends. This is inherent in any friendship and, ahem, no one is the perfect friend as we can see.

If you delete what became tiresome travelogs (I skipped over many sections), the too-frequent metaphors for literature and art (meant to impress the reader with Pasternak's intellect), and the many anecdotes with no punchline, you are left with one clear picture. For 20 years, Pasternak was like a junkie hooked on the excitement of traveling in Martha's circle, willing to take out large personal loans and home mortgages to finance staying in that circle. By her own words, Pasternak makes Martha the more generous and loyal friend, inviting Pasternak all along her route to global business success. It was up to Pasternak to define her side of the friendship. To write a book about Martha's shortcomings, which are already well known, seems petty. And the sugary high praises she heaps on Martha's other friends makes it look like Pasternak is fishing for a dinner party invitation or maybe one more ride on the fame train.

expertly polished in Cover Girl's Nile Red, trembled as I turned fascinating page after page of this tome. In a non-perfect world, or, as Mary Worth pointed out, "a less-than perfect world", Mariana Pasternak stands head and shoulders above lesser mortals such as you...or I. Like a nova, a glittering, shining star bursting and twisting into the black ink of the solar system, past a multitude of stars (or, in the words of Carl Sagan, "billions upon billions of stars")our heroine takes it on the chin from the abusive and dismissive Stewart. Reading this story, I was reminded of my youth - long winter evenings spent dining at a private table in my college (Whatsamatta U.) cafeteria (frozen peas, boiled potatoes, mystery meat under glass and, of course, a flute of Sprite to wash it all down) and listening to Hall and Oats' "Maneater" while wearing a superb ensemble of Dress Barn evening frock, Fashion Bug Ford Pinto Faux red alligator bag and Payless stilletos. "Watch out, man, she'll chew you up!" Yes, indeed.