The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said [Hardcover]

Robert Byrne (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 1996

Between the covers of this compilation are quips, quotes, wit, and wisdom from the whole world and all time. Once published in four volumes, these unforgettable lines can now be found in one big book, enhanced by charming line illustrations. The great names included range from Goethe and Churchill to Woody Allen and Dorothy Parker, and they offer a seemingly limitless trove of one-liners, retorts, definitions, jokes, and last words. From Oscar Wilde’s “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance” to Pablo Picasso’s “Give me a museum and I’ll fill it,” every quote is illuminating.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Robert Byrne is the author of seven novels, five collections of humorous quotations, seven books on billiards, and an exposÉ of frauds in the literary world. Byrne was born and raised in Dubuque, Iowa, where he has a regular humor column in the Dubuque Herald Times. Visit his website at www.byrne.org. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Introduction

The quotes you hold in your hand first saw the light of day as four separate collections of 637 each. Five years ago, the four appeared as an anthology of the 2,548 best things anybody ever said with four introductions and four indexes of sources, authors, and key words. If you were looking for something on a particular subject or by a favorite wag, if you were trying to track down a half-remembered line, you had four places to look. In this new edition, the introductions and ref-

erence lists have been combined into one and the quotes are numbered from 1 to 2,548, not four times from 1 to 637. The streamlining will enable many readers, writers, and speakers to more easily feign a sense of humor where none exists.

Why 2,548 quotes instead of, say, 2,547? I didn't want to leave a good one out. Why not 2,549? I didn't want any padding. The goal was simply to compile the best (funniest) things ever said (or written), zingers that can be used in everyday life without the odor of pomposity. Look elsewhere for rosy words of uplift or inspiration, unless you are uplifted and inspired by lines more appropriate for performers than pontificators. A serious attempt was made to eliminate the chaff and retain only the wheat, which is to say that you should be able to open the book to any page and be glad you did.

Many of the quotes are clustered by subject, but the subjects aren't ordered according to the alphabet. It struck me as logical, for example, to follow remarks about Love with those about Sex, Wedlock, Self-Abuse, Kids, Drink, and Death, in that order. In most books of this kind, Sex is followed by such unrelated topics as Shakespeare, Sickness, and Socialism and there is no category for Self-Abuse at all.

I feel bad about most of the quotes attributed to celebrities, for in almost every case, I'm willing to bet, the wit was supplied by a publicist or gagwriter. As a rule, celebrities aren't funny without help. Many non-celebrities are funny, though, at least once in a while, which is why there are so many lines in these pages from unknowns who took the time to send me contributions. One is a man who calls himself Strange de Jim. Should he appear in the Index of Authors under Strange or de? Then there is Hal Lee Luyah, who appears five times. Is that a pseudonym or did his parents call him that to have something to shout on Easter Sunday?

I quote myself a few times, too, which comes under the heading Abuse of Editorial Privilege. I apologize for that and other character flaws.

A word about the antique line cuts, since nobody asked. They are taken from several dozen collections, most of them published by Dover, totaling around 15,000 images. It's not easy matching up a drawing with a quote. Imagine my joy when I found the perfect one for Number 424, Nietzsche's observation that "only sick music makes money today."

Have fun. I did.

Robert Byrne

Dubuque, Iowa

Copyright © 2003 by Simon & Schuster, Inc. --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 640 pages
• Publisher: Galahad Books (September 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0883659603
• ISBN-13: 978-0883659601
• Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6.4 x 1.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 2.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,118,360 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

44 of 46 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars 2.548 best things anybody ever said, November 26, 1999

By 

Sally Peterangelo (Virginia, MN) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (Hardcover)

This book is a must for anyone on your holiday list..........the book is hysterical. Some great quotes, tidbits, advice........both my husband and I fight over this book. It's a great coffee table book and conversation piece. You can't go wrong if you buy this book.

27 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Byrne is a bit of a rogue, July 1, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (Paperback)

This is as fun as any number of similar books, perhaps even more so, but there are some er... surprising features:
- a fair number of the "best things anyone's ever said" were apparently said by Robert Byrne himself. Hmm...
- Where Byrne doesn't like the quote he just changes it, Oscar Wilde in particular gets mangled
- I can't prove it, but I'm sure some of these quotes are just made up: one from Andrew Mellon in particular rings false
- Sometimes he gives the source of the quote, sometimes he can't be bothered
- Michael Douglas is "Michael Douglas, actor and producer", all the other yahoos you've never heard of remain just a bunch of names

Anyway - there are 2 types of readers out there: those that find Byrne's roguishness charming, and those that don't. I'm sort of in the former group, as is Byrne himself.

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Enjoyable conversation piece type book, December 15, 2001

By 

Harold McFarland (Florida) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (Hardcover)

Maybe 2,548 quotes but not that many different quotes. The book is a combination of his previous four books. They are placed one after the other and bound together as one book. The problem is that the books have not been culled of repeats. So, many quotes show up in all four books and therefore show up four times in this book.
I will have to say that it contains lots of quotes that I have not seen anywhere else and it is an enjoyable read. Each of the four books is organized into logical sections and related quotes in each section.
When you have ten minutes of time to kill it is easy to pick up and read a few passages and then put it down. It is an interesting read and is well worth the price even with the repeats.