The Betrayal of the Self: The Fear of Autonomy in Men and Women [Paperback]

Arno Gruen (Author), Gaetano Benedetti (Preface), Ashley Montagu (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 15, 2007

Love or power ? these are the opposing poles of a choice every child is compelled to make, very early in its life, in a drama that sets it irrevocably on its path through life. This startling new insight into a formative experience fundamental to our development is the subject of THE BETRAYAL OF THE SELF, Dr. Arno Gruen's passionately argued contribution to the psychoanalytic view of the human soul, and what distorts it into pathology. ~~~~ What happens to an infant when it learns that the love it craves from its parents is available only at the price of submission to their will? In paying this price, as Dr. Gruen found in many years of experience with his patients, the infant renounces its true, autonomous self and instead embarks on a search for power with which to manipulate the world around it-a quest that will henceforth rule its life. ~~~~ Dr. Gruen maps out the process by which this striving for power, once the fatal choice has been made, masks the child's inner emptiness, dulls its fears, and soothes its secret feelings of self-loathing. Its need for power soon bars all access to its real emotions, and corrupts all of its relationships into ones based on mastery and domination. The power-oriented world around it, which puts a premium on stoic "strength" and "invulnerability," further confirms the child in this pursuit of power, leading it on to a path of dehumanization which pervades our entire society. Thus human destructiveness and evil are not innate, but develop in a complex process of growth marked by the failure to attain autonomy. ~~~~ In contrast, Dr. Gruen defines autonomy as that state of integration in which we live in full harmony with our feelings and needs. It is a natural state of being experienced in early childhood when the infant is loved unconditionally and without the need to earn this love by the self-sacrifice of submission. It allows the child to remain vulnerable to feelings of self-doubt, helplessness, pain, and rage ? the very emotions the infant fearfully flees in its decision to betray its own self. The fear of these emotions, Dr. Gruen shows, alienates the male in particular, destroying his soul, depriving him of his ability to love, and imposing on him the need to oppress others, women especially. ~~~~ How can therapy help the patient to find the way back to health and his autonomous self? Dr. Gruen discovered the clue to the therapeutic process in the active role the patient originally played in his choice between love and power, when he took refuge in power in his flight from pain. The therapist's task in helping the patient is to teach him how to accept the vulnerability he once feared in order to recover his lost autonomy. ~~~~ By defining man's vulnerability as his strength, Dr. Gruen points the way to a psychoanalysis of personal courage and social responsibility. At the same time, by exposing the childhood split which leads man to abandon his true self, Gruen has written a powerful indictment of our modern culture which mirrors the individual's self-alienation in growing social violence and loss of humanity. ~~~~ DR. ARNO GRUEN, who was born in Germany, emigrated to the U.S. as a child in 1936. He received his psychoanalytic training at New York University, and held many teaching posts in the United States, including seventeen years as professor of psychology at Rutgers University. Since 1979 he has lived and practiced in Switzerland. He is the author of many books and papers in both German and English. His other major work available in English is his 1992 book, THE INSANITY OF NORMALITY: TOWARD UNDERSTANDING HUMAN DESTRUCTIVENESS (republished in 2007 by Human Development Books).

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

One of Gruen's debatable findings in this provocative study is that men, cut off from their feelings, are far more oppressed than women. In both sexes, asserts this Swiss-based psychoanalyst, a false, inauthentic self develops as the obedient child learns to deny its own impulses. He argues that the drive for power, for control over oneself and others, chokes off true self-knowledge. Men become robot-like as they plot their lives in terms of abstract concepts; women who identify with powerful males mythologize themselves. Gruen's mapping of the flight from self may sound familiar to readers of Erich Fromm, yet he offers fresh insights fleshed out with examples drawn from politics, literature, therapy sessions and the news. He ties the personal context to the social diseases of mass conformity, worship of material success and overvaluation of intellect.
Copyright 1988 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Language Notes

Text: English, German (translation) --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 180 pages
• Publisher: Human Development Books; 1 edition (November 15, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0966990889
• ISBN-13: 978-0966990881
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.5 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #311,479 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars An excellent review, and clear as well!, October 11, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Betrayal of the Self: The Fear of Autonomy in Men and Women (Hardcover)

If you look for something that fathoms out the deep motivations for human frustration, stop here and read this book. It is clearly written, has a soul, and won't lead you into a hotchpotch of jargon. The best book I've ever read on this subject. Read it, and you'll realize that the recipe to get better along in life is very easy - try to be what you are. How? Well, simply by grasping the fact that we all tend to adopt false behavioral patterns as a means of self-defence. The most valuable thing of this book is that it will lead you gently into this spiritual awekening. No cut-and-dried recipe as to how become a "shark". It's not worth it. A good book must be like a good doctor: be rigorous in the treatment and lead you to wellbeing. Gruen won't teach you how to bully the rest of the world, but he will tell you how you can get closer to yourself and get a life of reality, instead of appearances. If this is not enough for you, don't read the book. If this is what you want, this book can be the first rung in a long latter.

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An Honest Look, July 28, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Betrayal of the Self: The Fear of Autonomy in Men and Women (Hardcover)

Gruen's work is by far and away the best piece of non-fiction I've ever read in my life. Gruen takes a relentless and incisive look at the underlying reasons behind the insidious undermining of a person's true Self by a false system of beliefs set up by a deluded and oppressive society. Gruen gives his audience an opportunity to be aware of their innermost qualities and emotions with absolutely no shame or judgement. This book has been more enlightening and inspiring than the total sum of self-help books that have accumulated and collected dust on my book shelf over the past 10 years. I implore anybody who is searching for answers and solutions to their deepest conflicts to look no further.

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars arno gruen, June 6, 2001

By 

jim strong (Phila. P.A.) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Betrayal of the Self: The Fear of Autonomy in Men and Women (Hardcover)

I'm not sure how Mr. Gruen did this, but there can be no arguement that it is a stellar effort. I can't believe Mr Gruen's 2 major books are out of print in the U.S. It baffles me. A country with this much violence, alcohol and drug use, is cutting itself off from Gruen's immensely helpful insights. It's a shame. I recently just read a few passages to my 14 year old son. Result ? He had a grin from ear to ear. He loved it! I do too! It is just as fresh and important today , as I read it, as it was 11 years ago when it 1st came out. My son loved the idea that to be free, one must be an outcast in rational society. The free man irritates those around him. Are you yourself, or are you an image that others expect from you. The nail that sticks out gets the thump of the hammer. Gruen urges us to be that stubborn "free" nail.