Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life [Paperback]

Jan Black (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 20, 1998

Boundary issues contribute to a range of contemporary social problems felt by victims, abusers, overachievers, and underachievers alike. Knowing when boundaries are violated and what to do about it isn't a simple skill. It requires a surprising amount of adjustments.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: New Harbinger Publications; 1 edition (March 20, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1572241071
• ISBN-13: 978-1572241077
• Product Dimensions: 9 x 6.1 x 0.6 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #93,444 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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64 of 66 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars expected more details on boundaries, July 19, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life (Paperback)

I'm glad some people found this book helpful. I didn't myself. I would describe it as an encyclopedia of all the self-help concepts ever published, and most do not apply directly to interpersonal boundaries. "Treasure Yourself" should have been the full title of this book, their point being that if you would just like yourself more darn it, indirectly you'll form better boundaries. I suppose that's possible, but I would need 40 lifetimes to implement all the concepts reviewed in this chronicle of self-help. I still flip through the book for fun sometimes, amazed at the huge quantity of information they summarize that does not specifically address interpersonal boundaries.

Here are my suggestions. I found "Privacy and Its Invasion" by Deckle McLean to be pure gold. The author describes the types of boundaries we need, giving historical perspectives and practical reasoning on how interpersonal boundaries lead to a sense of wholeness and personal identity. It's a scholarly book, not self-help, but an easy read, short, well-referenced. I tracked it down at a local university library (he he). The other book I liked was "How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty" by Patti Breitman and Connie Hatch. It's loaded with practical advice for many, many situations. The authors of these two books stand and deliver, without talking down to you.

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Clichéd Title takes away from the value inside., August 23, 2002

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Roberta Hill (Ottawa, Ontario Canada) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life (Paperback)

The whole concept and idea of boundaries tends to be overused and clichéd these days. Because of this, we may have lost sight of a fundamental development area for us to become fully human.

This book was a wonderful gift from a friend. In my work, I am always referring to the need for clear boundaries in personal and professional situations. I tend to think that I have pretty good boundaries and in general I do. This book helped lay out specific criteria and circumstances for me to reconsider.

It would be too easy to describe or label this particular book as another of the Self Help ilk. It is not a workbook and I wouldn't describe it as one full of exercises. However, it does have some areas with specific strategies, recommendations and processes to help you identify the important ingredients required in order for an individual to clarify and maintain the proper boundaries in all aspects of their lives.

It is not technical in the sense of theoretical but it is thorough. Anyone who wants to look into this important area can apply this material directly and immediately in his or her own life. It is also full of concrete examples in real live situations.

If you feel that you have issues around setting and clarifying boundaries, this book will be of tremendous assistance. If boundaries are not a concern for you, I would encourage you to consider reviewing the material. It goes beyond the surface to the core purpose and intent of your life. For this reason, it is a great book for counselors, coaches and all self-seekers.

21 of 22 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Good book, but mistitled, September 15, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: Better Boundaries: Owning and Treasuring Your Life (Paperback)

This book has many good points in it, but it really doesn't seem to be about boundaries. This book seems to say "If you love yourself, then your boundaries will automatically form" and then focuses on how to value yourself. I have no doubt that learning to like and respect oneself will help one to form better boundaries. Alas, I bought this book hoping to learn more about boundaries so I could use them as a new tool to help make "space" to like myself better! Oops!

At many points, I also felt that the book did a little more "telling" than "showing", which made it seem a little shallow to me. As another reviewer said, this does offer a good summary of many tips and techniques for how to learn to like and respect oneself, and so it is probably an excellent book to use to get an overview of that topic so you could figure out what to go read in more detail.