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Between Fathers and Daughters: Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult Relationship Paperback – September 1, 2008

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Cumberland House Publishing (September 1, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1581826613
  • ISBN-13: 978-1581826616
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #306,105 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher


"The only word that consistently went through my mind as I was reading was 'remarkable!' The book is amazing -- thoughtfully weaving research findings, common sense advice, principles of psychotherapy and personal stories into a compelling work that has immense promise to alleviate the weight and pain of daughters being estranged from their fathers. Presuming to speak on behalf of the fathers to whom you will restore the great gift of their daughters, thank you!" --Dr. Sanford Braver, Arizona State University, author of Divorced Dads: Shattering the Myths, and advisor to President Bill Clinton's Father Initiative

"Nielsen's book breaks new ground by including men as significant parents. Helpful for more than their financial contribution to their children, fathers must not only be permitted but encouraged toward a role beyond the stranger who signs the checks. So I say, 'read this book!'" --Karen DeCrow, attorney, former president of the National Organization of Women

"To say we love without knowing what we are loving is a wasted life. To discover our dad's or our daughter's love is to both discover them and ourselves. Nielsen's book guides us to both by data that makes us question what we know; by insights that help us discover what we don't know; and questionnaires that help us stumble into ourselves. Every dad and daughter must read it." --Warren Farrell, author of Father & Child Reunion and Why Men Are the Way They Are

"Dr. Nielsen brilliantly brings home the facts about what really happens in families of divorce and offers practical solutions. It masterfully separates fact from fiction and exposes the secret and hidden realities for many moms, dads, and daughters involved in divorce. Understanding, compassion, and healing are inevitable for readers. Research and real life stories are combined with interesting and thought-provoking quizzes and self tests. Dr. Nielsen masterfully uses this combination to unlock the secret and well-hidden realities of what really happens in divorce. Her practical insights and recommendations will bring understanding and healing for all who dare to look." --Maureen Geddes and Bob McGuire, attorneys, co-presidents of Canadian Equal Parenting Council

"A tour de force in the under-explored area of father-daughter relationships, Dr. Nielsen's 25 years of research provide a masterful handbook written in a disarmingly casual conversational style. With 200 heavy-duty citations to also entice the academic community, a lovely blend of anecdotal stories, crisp statistical summaries, and handy self-test quizzes, the author clearly understands communication. The chapter on divorced father-daughter relationships is superb and worth the price of the book alone. This one is a keeper--both as a dad's how-to manual on daughters, and a daughter's what-makes-Dad-tick reference guide." --Canadian Equal Parenting Council

"This is a hugely important book about a hugely important topic: healing the relationship between fathers and daughters. Professor Nielsen writes with more wisdom, experience, and care about this than anyone else out there. If you are a father or a daughter, or someone who cares about a daughter and father, get this book!" --Joshua Coleman, Ph.D., senior fellow, Council on Contemporary Families and author of When Parents Hurt: Compassionate Strategies When You and Your Grown Children Don't Get Along

"Dr. Linda Nielsen is at the vanguard of educators and authors who know that the relationship between daughters and fathers is fundamental and critical to the development of whole, healthy women. Her book offers insights and practical advice for daughters and fathers. Nielsen's work deserves our unending gratitude." --Jonetta Rose Barras, columnist, political analyst, and author of Whatever Happened to Daddy's Little Girl: The Impact of Fatherlessness on Black Women

"Girls with loving, involved fathers flourish and become strong, secure women. Based on years of experience and research, Dr. Linda Nielsen tells fathers and daughters, in any family situation, how to nurture this core relationship." --Elizabeth Marquadt, Institute of American Values, author of Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce

"Linda Nielsen's Between Fathers and Daughters is an insightful, powerful work which gets beyond the stereotypes to provide a real-world examination of a tremendously underrated relationship--the loving, special bonds fathers share with their daughters." --Glenn Sacks, men's columnist and radio host of His Side

"Nielsen identifies the fears, hurts, and anger that separate fathers and daughters and--more important--she gives powerful tools to move beyond the past. Drawing on her extensive knowledge and expertise, Nielsen shows you how to reconnect, repair, and recapture a loving relationship. Stop feel sorry for yourself, stop feeling angry, get moving before it is too late with Nielsen's expert advice." --Richard A. Warshak, Ph.D., author of Divorce Poison: Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive Ex

About the Author

Dr. Linda Nielsen is a professor of Adolescent and Educational Psychology at Wake Forest University in Winston Salem, NC.  A nationally recognized expert on father-daughter relationships with a special focus on shared parenting for children of divorce, she teaches the only college course in the country devoted exclusively to father-daughter relationships. Her work has been featured in newspapers and magazines nationwide, as well as in a PBS documentary and on NPR.  Her fifth and newest book, Father-Daughter Relationships: Contemporary Research & Issues (Routledge, 2012)  is designed for college students and for professionals working with families and in family courts.

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Customer Reviews

4.1 out of 5 stars
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Dr. Nielsen gives good advice.
Kelley Dupuis
It does not matter what you read in a book; you have to do these things on your own or nothing is going to come of it.
M. Burton
I encourage all fathers and daughters to read this book and take it very seriously.
Charles Ashbacher

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 19 people found the following review helpful By M. Burton on August 26, 2008
Format: Paperback
There is no dearth of books on the market regarding father/daughter relationships; some are directed to the new father, some to the wounded adult daughter and many go beyond Freud's envious theories (useless now in this post-pill society). Considering the number of footnotes in the text, Dr. Nielsen has read many of them and sought to collect and more cleanly illustrate the information contained within. As one progresses through the chapters, she tries not only to heal the parent/child relationship, but also works to explain how the now adult daughter interacts with the men in her life.

The most important facet of building this new relationship seems to be overcoming the stereotypes and myths that have been perpetuated by the media. Again, we turn to the footnotes, a compilation of studies and numbers that swiftly brush aside the false notions that get us to not get along with Dad. There are also bullet points and insets that work to better illustrate the reality of these father/daughter relationships.

Dr. Nielsen places a great share of responsibility on the shoulders of the daughter. This stands to reason, considering it is most likely the daughter reading this book. I know that I'm reading it because Dad asked me if I would so I could let him know what I thought of it. I do not know if he has read the book himself, but we'll overlook the irony of reading a self-help book for someone else at the moment. The point here is, it is more likely the daughter who will be picking up this text and doing the exercises. It is the daughter who will be trying to repair the relationship or trying to repair something in herself or her relationship with other men or whatever. This is, of course, my opinion, based on the web-sense ads that amazon.
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Format: Paperback
Based on the results I've gotten, Between Fathers & Daughters is the most helpful book I've read in 2008. I highly recommend it.

I am a dad so I have to write about this book from my perspective in that role. One day my daughter was following me everywhere I went, smiling as she trotted along, and filled with joy. Then suddenly I had an adult daughter who seemed highly skeptical about my motives, preferred not to spend much time with me, and didn't find much to please her. How did that happen? I wasn't sure, but I certainly wanted it to change.

I found Dr. Nielsen's book to be very valuable for helping me understand where I was going wrong. I must have seemed as weird to my daughter as my parents did to me.

Trying the advice, I found that the rift rapidly began to close, and we started to enjoy one another's company again. I'm sold.

Dr. Nielsen draws on her experience in teaching a course on this subject. As a result, she has a number of quizzes where you can check out your attitudes and behavior. I found those to be very revealing.

The book is designed to be answered by fathers and daughters together. I didn't try that, but if your daughter is willing . . . go for it. I think it would work well.

The book also made me more sensitive to the ways that others condition my daughter's relationship with me through their beliefs and actions. I didn't try to change anything in that regard, but being more aware of the issue has helped me to choose better things to say and do.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Ogg-the-Bear on September 7, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
At first I thought I'd jumped the gun when I read the subtitle "Enriching and Rebuilding Your Adult relationship" but after reading the book I realized, no, this book is far better on the information than most contemporary books on the subject marketed to the father of a young girl. Nielsen is far more attuned to what grown women and their fathers have to say and have experienced than most of the authors offering advice to Dads of girls. She is blunt on the excesses of gendered discourse, be they feminist or chauvanist alike and cuts through the political/cultural-gendered firestorm to get to where real people live. For a father who worries about the fiery little girl he helped make, now a tween, reading this was like a relief-valve that put things back into perspective. The book is like a map of what's coming and how to set up for the best ride down the rapids rather than just jumping into the river and hoping for the best--or as too many of the pop-psych dads and daughters type books advise, diverting the river in order to best control it--yeah, that'll work.

If you have a daughter who's still a kid or all grown up, you owe it to yourself to read this book. If you're partnered to a man with a daughter, or even one of those that claim men are irrelevant, you need to hear what Nielsen has to say... a lot of it will surprise you. Men need to do much better by women in U.S. culture. This book helps.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Southern Comfrey on August 25, 2008
Format: Paperback
"Between Fathers and Daughters" is as refreshing, compassionate and engaging a book as I've read all year, on any topic. Highly readable and candid, it deftly avoids typical pitfalls of the "self-help" genre by challenging and empowering the reader without any coddling or condescension. Yet what makes this book truly unique and worthwhile is how Nielsen elegantly combines her expertise with anecdotes and examples, suggestions and straight talk. Rather than reading like a 'book written by a psychology expert,' I felt like I was having a deep, honest conversation with a smart, warm friend. This book will impact all your relationships, but will genuinely change the way you see and interact with your dad. Very highly recommended.
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