Customer Reviews

Beware! Children at Play

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

That's what I love about Troma movies, in fact, this was the first Troma movie I've ever seen. Yes, you WIMPS might find "Beware! Children at Play" boring, disgusting, and offensive but you people must learn to not take most movies seriously. With one of the BEST finales in cheesy horror history, I'm boosting the rating up a half a star and am hoping that a sequel will be made IMMEDIATELY! . ROCK ON! I LOVE THIS MOVIE!

This little gem was apparently lensed independently and then picked upo by notorious shlock-pushers Troma for distribution. I can handle "Mother's Day" "Bloodsucking Freaks" and "Class of Nuke 'em High" from the boys of Troma, but this one takes a little more patience and stomach than I may have.
If you want poor acting, a horrible plot and even worse effects, I can't think of a better place to send you than BCAP. If any of these actors worked outside of this film (or maybe cable access) I'd be highly surprised. The plot and script was probably hatched between commercial breaks during Monday Night Football. The effects are weak even by Bollywood standards circa 1981.
IF you must know, the "film" follows the tale of a father and son who meet tragedy on a camp out. When the dad's ankle is snared in a bear trap and the son unable to retrieve help ( I thought he was pretty lame, even for an 8 year old) the near death father falls into dementia and encourages his son to cannabalize him for survival. Oh, all while the school teacher father is quoting Olde English or "Angel Accent" or Anglo Saxon lore . Naturally years later, the kid runs loose through the backwoods of the "New Jersey Bible Belt" (where?!?) terrorizing the God-fearing townfolk and kidnapping other kids for his flesh eating cult.
If you see BCAP, you will bear witness to some of the worst on-screen detecive work ever filmed as the "good guys" in the film attempt to find the culprit. Personally I don't think these pseudo-intellectual wannabe sleuthes couold solve the "Jumble" puzzle in the local newsrag, but painfully they work through the mystery and burn some valuable film time that could have been wasted on the bad effects.
Now the efects were made in the days before CGI and also apparently in the days before realistic fake blood, arrows and axes without visible fishing line attached and directors who could tell actors portraying the deceased the simple command to "not breathe visibly on-camera".
I still rate this dud 2 stars, better than I will a high budget H'wood outing with 100x the budget and sppoiled prima donna players. It's worth a laugh for crap-fans or maybe as a good punishment to make your kids watch when they are bad and you take their Playstation away.

The film is introduced by Llyod Kaufman as having a trailer deemed so controversial in it's depiction of children killing adults that it was booed at the Cannes Film Festival and half the audience walked out. That sounds like a bad joke I heard before. What does it take to offend a French person?...Or how many lightbulbs does it take to screw a French person?

The opening of the film is a father/son camping trip gone wrong. The father slowly dies after getting stuck in a bear trap and he tells his son to eat him spawning a cannibalistic cult of little children. And everything after this is screwier. The father was a professor that taught Anglo-Saxon poetry, or as the dimwit town sheriff affectionately refers to as "Angel Accent poetry", and this leads his son to believe that he, Glen Randell, is now "Grendel" from the poem "Beowulf". There are a variety of other bizarre explanations for the children's behavior in the convoluted plot involving the Sacrifice of Abraham's child to God amongst other things. Basically, the children disappear from the town, start a cult, hunt adults, and eat them. Sorry if this is confusing folks, but I watched the film and still don't get it. This is the most I could try to understand without falling asleep.

Unfortunately, as interesting as the premise sounds, the film is quite boring. It tried to be smart and I give it credit for that much. The SFX are good is some parts and bad in others. There are some scenes that try to make the mark, but fall short. One involves the young boy cutting open his father and eating his heart. At least I think that is what it was. The editing was strange and I am pretty sure it was not a real boy doing this for legal reasons. The stomach resembled an empty flap and a hand went in and pulled out a round, brown lump. The only scene that caught my attention for about 3 minutes was the slaughter scene at the end. And for the parents who secretly fantasize about killing their own kids, well here you have it.

There is a strange rape scene thrown in for no apparent reason. It seemed completely unnecessary and pointless. The child leader rapes a mom in front of other children including her own. That falls under the It's Just Wrong Category. And yet they somehow managed to make that boring as well.

The sound quality was okay, but there was goofy 80's boombox beat music at the oddest times. The film quality was decent, but there are problems with the editing and continuity issues. One scene in particular is shot at night and when the camera sings back to an actor talking, it is suddenly broad daylight!

Favorite Quote: A Bible salesman describing the Holy Bible he loves so much, "It is the best damn book ever! You don't need any god damn luck. You just say it is the word of God and their pocket book spreads it's cheeks and the long green pops out like puss from a pimple."

DVD Extras: The usual Troma fare: T.I.T. (Troma Intelligence Test), Still Gallery, Multiple Trailers, Commentary, and Bios. One note though, I could not read the menu. The font is illegible, so I just clicked on random colorful blobs I saw and hoped for the best.

Bottom Line: Only for "Tromans" looking to complete a collection.

Rating: 5/10

Molly Celaschi

This movie has it's moments, and drags on at times, but I have yet to see a funnier ending than this.
Don't expect a hollywood blockbuster here, it's just a good movie (A Troma movie at least).

This is an insane movie. There is no doubt about this. My sicko friends love this, especially the ending. It has to do with a guy who grew up in the woods luring kids into a cannibalistic cult, where they sacrifice adults. It's stupid as all hell, but it's so much fun to watch. The ending is a laugh riot (though it probably shouldn't be) where all the adults band together and slaughter their own kids. It's gory, it's cheap, and it comes with a free spatula! Ok, it doesn't come with a free spatula (good marketing idea though), but I'm willing to forgive Troma because they've been so good to me all these years. To quote the movie, "Will you touch me now, Uncle, the way Grendel touched Mother?" Have fun kids!

I love Troma movies, even though most of them are bad beyond belief. This movie is almost a direct rip off of Children of The Corn. However, you get more gore and bad acting with Troma. The kids are not as freaky as the Corn series. I must admit this movie was kept short but it felt like it dragged on way to long. The trailer might have got booed but it has all the good parts and is less then two minutes. The last ten minutes are the only reason to watch it, although thats not saying much. If you collect Troma films-then you have it but if your looking for a good horror film, look elsewhere.

Llyod Kaufman stated in his book that this was one of his most extreme movies. Not hardly, I say. The ideas in this movie are interesting, but not extreme. The last five minutes could've saved the movie if the rest wasn't so slow. Sure, some kids get shot, beaten up, and the town goes on a kiddie killing spree, but throughout an hour and a half this happens: father gets stuck in bear trap, dies, sends kid off for help, then slowly towns people get killed--some gore scenes better than others, then sheriff and science fiction writer (main characters) find out what is really going on with the children and the town rebels.
For ten bucks, this was a good buy, but for the easily dissapointed don't purchase. True troma fans, make sure you're willing to be either impressed or dissapointed. There is no middle ground for these kinds of movies. This would make a wonderful rentail if you could find it. Blockbuster need not apply.

I don't know whether to laugh at some of the people reviewing Beware!, or be shocked at how unbelievably oblivious they are. Everyone keeps going on and on about the "bad acting," the "horrible special effects," and the "lame plot." Hello - it's a Troma movie. In other words, it's supposed to be like this, it's called "camp horror." Nobody in their right mind expects it to be of the caliber of The Exorcist. Troma movies poke fun at themselves. They always have. If you're expecting anything more than that, you're kidding yourself and obviously know nothing about camp horror films. Let me tell you, as camp horror goes, Troma ranks right up there, and Beware! is one of the good ones. I think its funny how everyone keeps whining about the "cheesy ending"...that's exactly what the ending is supposed to be in camp horror, but apparently these viewers believe they are watching something of the type of horror film as Scream. To those people, all I can say is: I feel incredibly bad for you that you can't recognize an artform when it's right in front of your face. It truly is laughable that the points you use to say it's bad are actually what make it so good.

PLOT: When a boy's father dies at the hands of a bear trap on a camping trip, he vows vengence and says weird things and then eats his dad. (Yep it's true). Now 10 years later the children of Tromaville are disappearing. The townspeople are God-fearing and mad about the kids. They think they are getting killed, but it's quite the opposite. The children are being gathered up into a gang of parent killing maniacs by the boy whos dad died 10 years earlier. DO NOT miss the end of this movie. As it is the greatest ending...EVER!
STRAIGHT TALK: I love this movie. It was the first Troma film I saw that I was aware of. (I saw Killer Nerd many years earlier) This movie was so wierd, but I soon learned that thats what Troma is all about. The acting is terrible but who cares?! The effects are terrible but who cares?! This just a great movie sit back and laught at. I bought it for 3 bucks at Family Video and it was so worth it.
CAST: A few dudes and a bunch of crazy kids. Acting is not important here!
KILLS: A scythe cutting a man in half. A woman who somehow runs into a bunch of sharp wooden logs. And off course the massacre at the end.
CONCLUSION: A five star pick all the way. I thought the cover was cool so I rented it. Best decision ever! Don't pass this one by at you local Family Video.

THIS MOVIE WAS SO GREAT!!!!!! IT WAS THE MOST TWISTED MOVIE EVER.THE ENDING WAS VERY UNEXPECTED. HEED THE WARNING FROM THE BOX, IF YOU HAVE HEART CONDITIONS OR ARE PREGNAT DON'T WATCH THIS MOVIE. TROMA MOVIES ARE THE GREATEST IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!