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Beware of God: Stories
 
 
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Beware of God: Stories [Hardcover]

Shalom Auslander (Author)
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)


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Book Description

March 22, 2005
Shalom Auslander's stories in Beware of God have the mysterious punch of a dream. They are wide ranging and inventive: A young Jewish man's inexplicable transformation into a very large, blond, tattooed goy ends with an argument over whether or not his father can beat his unclean son with a copy of the Talmud. A pious man having a near-death experience discovers that God is actually a chicken, and he's forced to reconsider his life -- and his diet. At God's insistence, Leo Schwartzman searches Home Depot for supplies for an ark. And a young boy mistakes Holocaust Remembrance Day as emergency preparedness training for the future.

Auslander draws upon his upbringing in an Orthodox Jewish community in New York State to craft stories that are filled with shame, sex, God, and death, but also manage to be wickedly funny and poignant.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The faithful look sharp or fall victim to a "surly, bossy, paranoid, violent" God in Auslander's satirical debut collection. The author, raised an Orthodox Jew, mercilessly spoofs the Old Testament deity: God suffers from migraines, stalks a modern-day prophet and appears as a large chicken, among other incarnations. Though harsh rabbinic voices echo throughout, and characters who engage in Talmudic-style debate usually arrive at absurd conclusions, Auslander's target isn't religious hypocrisy. Instead, he guns for sacred cows: literal interpretations of the Torah, strict adherence to Jewish law, and belief in an all-powerful deity who metes out punishment and reward according to man's fulfillment of God's commandments. At the heart of this satire, though, is the pain of true believers at the mercy of a capricious God. These are high-concept stories: a chimpanzee suddenly achieves "total conscious self-awareness.... God. Death. Shame. Guilt"—a burden he cannot bear. A yeshiva student wakes one morning with a brawny, goyishe body and is reviled by his community. A man enrages all major world religions with his discovery of original Old Testament tablets preceded by the disclaimer, "The following is a work of fiction." Occasionally, the Catskills-inflected comedy is corny, but for the most part, Auslander skillfully handles heavy subject matter with a droll tone. "Beautiful day," an adman says, making small talk at a pitch meeting with God. " 'I made it myself,' God answered loudly." (Apr.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

From Booklist

This first short story collection is approachable and entertaining on many levels, because it includes a strange and either funny or disturbing cast of characters, all of whom explore, in one way or another, their connection to the universe and the Almighty. The first story, "The War of the Bernsteins," pits a technically pious man against his rebellious and frustrated wife, and the descriptions of their internal "spiritual mathematics" is reminiscent of some of Woody Allen's short pieces. "Holocaust Tips for Kids" is, as expected, chilling and maudlin but also somehow humbling, putting everything in an unusual perspective. Some of the other stories seem to verge on gimmicky, but for the most part, Auslander avoids cheap laughs, his point in these stories being that all of us, deeply observant of our faith or not, take the doctrine and ritualistic trappings of organized religion far too seriously. Debi Lewis
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved

Product Details

  • Hardcover: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Simon & Schuster (March 22, 2005)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0743264568
  • ISBN-13: 978-0743264563
  • Product Dimensions: 7.1 x 5.3 x 0.8 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (23 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #748,441 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

23 Reviews
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3 star:
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Average Customer Review
4.3 out of 5 stars (23 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

22 of 22 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Ridicule, the Best Defense Against Dogmatism, May 29, 2005
By 
Jon S. Wesick (Carlsbad, CA United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Beware of God: Stories (Hardcover)
This book doesn't attack religion so much as what some people have done to it. By placing dogmatic thinking in other situations the stories show how ridiculous this thinking is. Two hamsters argue about whether their owner in omniscient. Rabbis argue about letting a man with a Jewish head and Christian body into a synagogue. A religious war breaks out in the Peanuts comic strip. I want to buy 20 copies of this book and pass them out to everyone I know.
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18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars A sparkling comedy, April 4, 2005
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This review is from: Beware of God: Stories (Hardcover)
Shalom Auslander succeeds in never boring the reader, although one may argue the shorts stories are variations on the same theme: the idiocy of some (most?) orthodox Jewish (and for that matter, any religious) beliefs and practices. Besides being hilarious, this book will make you pause and wonder: "am I really a (willing) victim of such a preposterous construction?". This book will not only amuse you; it will also make you more critical, and probably a tad smarter.
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21 of 23 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars G-D is the Party of the First Part, October 7, 2005
By 
Gregory Mills "Greg" (Grosse Pointe Farms, MI) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Beware of God: Stories (Hardcover)
It's one thing to believe the message. It's another to worship the creed. Here's a collection of short, stark and funny parables about the futility short cuts to the bosom of Abraham.

These are characters trapped in cul de sacs of legalistic fretting, and the god protrayed here in the one that would have to exist to make all this theological manuvering something other than absurd and pointless -- a smug CEO, frustrated with his penny-ante creations and bound by his own legalistic mind.

It's a funny book, a ding on the vanities and motivations of hyperobservant followers everywhere. Not just Orthodox Jews.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
monkey house, archeology department, assistant rabbi, exercise wheel
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Charlie Brown, Golem One, Golem Two, Rabbi Brier, Bruce Lee, Rabbi Teitelbaum, Old Testament, Israel Museum, Home Depot Man, Palm Pilot, Jay Leno, Word of God, Stanley Fisher, Rabbi Akiva, Bleach Ultra, James Patterson, Hebrew University, Chaim Yankel Rosenberg, Great Pumpkin
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