Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences [Paperback]

Carolyn W. Griffin (Author), Marian J. Wirth (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 15, 1997

"Mom, Dad, I'm gay." When a parent hears these words, the initial shock is often followed by feelings ranging from anger and denial to fear and guilt. It's also the beginning of a difficult journey that, with understanding and emotional support, can lead to acceptance and beyond.

Now fully revised and updated, Beyond Acceptance is a ground-breaking book that provides parents the comfort and knowledge they need to accept the gay children and build stronger family relationships. Based on the experiences of other parents, this book lets them know they are not alone and helps them through the emotional stages leading to reconciliation with their children.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

"Every happy family is alike, and every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," wrote Leo Tolstoy. Families dealing with a child's homosexuality are certainly forced by a homophobic culture to experience a whole range of unhappiness. Beyond Acceptance deals with a variety of issues facing heterosexual parents of gay children, from facing what the neighbors will say to worrying about AIDS and social ostracism to feeling angry and guilt-ridden.

Various people speak about how they came to their misinformed views about gayness, their religious beliefs, their fears that friends will abandon them after finding out about their child's homosexuality, and their anxieties about AIDS. Often people find similar solutions to their problems, and sometimes different ones, but in all cases the message is that understanding, love, and a need to own up to, and dispense with, ignorant homophobic attitudes can bring families back together in a wholesome and nurturing manner. Frank, informed, and filled with insights and practical suggestions, Beyond Acceptance is a fine addition to the literature on homophobia and families. --Michael Bronski

From Library Journal

Based on interviews with P-FLAG member parents, this book is organized as a chronology of the typical parent's emotional jour- ney to acceptance and beyond.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin; Rev Upd edition (November 15, 1997)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0312167814
• ISBN-13: 978-0312167813
• Product Dimensions: 0.6 x 5.5 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (9 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #275,642 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #39 in Books > Gay & Lesbian > Parenting & Families

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

33 of 33 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A most important book. November 6, 2000

By "joto25"

Beyond good, this book is important. A book from the voices of parents who have lesbian and/or gay children. We have "heard" plenty from lesbians and gays, pleading for understanding and acceptance, so this book gives the readers a voice from "the other" side.

With frank interviews and conversations, we are let in on the angst, the suffering, the fears and disappointments from parents. It covers many aspects of our lives. Most often, the burning question from parents is "what did I do wrong?" Religion, health, acceptance etc....all the way to "should the neighbours know?

This book is honestly written from the hearts of the writers, parents who have been through all of that and more. We learn of how they cope or didn't. The journeys they have taken and what the effects are with a lesbian/gay in the family unit. A must read, not just for parents, but also for lesbians and gays, and their siblings. And for everyone else too - I recommend this book. It creates understanding, not answers, through the conversations with various people. In all, it is almost like sitting in a crowd and listening in on an interesting discussion or conversation and gleaning knowledge and understanding!!

There is an earlier editon from 1990. Try to get the lastest one, I think 1996/7, with updates on issues like AIDS etc...

Buy or borrow this book, read it again and again. Pass it on. For everyone.

30 of 31 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An Excellent Coming Out Tool September 11, 1999

By A Customer

This book is written as a resource for parents. I bought and read it before coming out to my parents. Insightful and careful writing to help you understand what your parents might feel when you tell them. Then give them a copy when you have the big discussion. The authors use loads of real-life examples from many different people and situations to help parents understand and relate.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful

1.0 out of 5 stars Threw it out February 14, 2012

By Jane

Amazon Verified Purchase

This book came from a very negative place. I literally threw it out. I was looking for guidance on how to support my child in his knowing who he is. Wanting to help him with awareness of bullying or anything that would come up that I should be aware of.
This book comes from a place that if your child is homosexual and you are very upset about it as if it is a wrong or bad thing. That is not what I interpreted from the reviews or description. Aren't there any positive supportive books on this subject?

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and inspiring November 24, 2010

By Roxanne

Amazon Verified Purchase

An excellent resource for parents, families and educators. An in-depth discussion on everyday situations which provide re-assurance, comfort and confidence to openly discuss and share ones concerns. Chapter sections provide real world insights for further discussion between parent and child, parents themselves and with friends and family. The use of case studies, interviews and quotes from 'real' people are fantastic and encourage the reader to reflect upon their own personal experiences.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An informative insight into a parents view of this tough situation October 22, 2009

By N. Wiberg

Amazon Verified Purchase

I read through a few books before finally deciding to buy this one. I got this one in preparation for coming out to my parents. This book not only informs parents of common misconceptions of being gay but also gives them something of a partner in the coming out trials. Very good read. I recommend this for anyone who is has or will come out.

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Beyond Acceptance - A Book May 28, 2009

By S. Boucher

Amazon Verified Purchase

I bought this book for a friend of mine who appreciated it very much. I didn't read it through and through before I gave it to my friend but I did review chapters and felt it was a very thought provoking and insightful book.

3.0 out of 5 stars Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and gays Talk about their Experiences May 24, 2012

By Tracey

Amazon Verified Purchase

I didn't find this book as informative as I thought I would. I found it to be a collection of exerts of letters by parents who have a gay child with a few opinions expert opinions thrown in. I was very disappointed with the content of this book.

5.0 out of 5 stars Highly recommended December 22, 2010

By rkvl

Amazon Verified Purchase

Exactly what was needed. I ordered a copy for myself and one for my parents. Some things were quite confrontational to read, but in the end it was incredibly helpful for both parties. Gives each a different perspective from the issues and helps build some bridges towards acceptance. Thank-you to the authors and parents involved in the interviews.