Customer Reviews

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk about Their Experiences

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
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1 star:		(1)

 

 

I told my parents I'm gay this past weekend. It went much better than expected. Friends said that there were books on the market that could help. I checked out Amazon's selection and found _Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians and Gays Talk About Their Experiences_ to be the extremely helpful in the coming-out-to-your-parents experience. The book was, for me, accurate in "predicting" my parents' reactions, down to the questions they would ask, the emotions they would go through, etc. It was touching, and inspiring as it brings you from the initial coming out event all the way through to parents who have taken action in their communities against homophobia. The book doesn't pretend that all parents will change so drastically, but it shows what's possible.

Note: While the book draws from the experiences of predominantly caucasian, middle-class families, the parents were from all across the country and from various religious backgrounds, i.e. Jewish, Christian, Catholic, agnostic, etc.

The book covers an amazing array of subjects including: Issues regarding your partner and the difficulties and triumphs in bringing partners into the family, the grandparents and extended family, the church, the sense of loss experienced by parents when their expectations for their gay child changes, the paradox of the general acceptance of married heterosexuals who don't have children versus gay committed, monogamous relationships, the fact gays can lead happy and full lives, gays in the military, about whether gayness is caused by nature or nurture or both, about whether being gay is a mental illness, about the removal of homosexuality from the APA's list of mental illnesses, about the failure of all forms of "treatment," and the list goes on . . .

I also enjoyed and drew wisdom from the Bernstein book, _Straight Parents, Gay Children: Inspiring Families to Live Honestly and With Greater Understanding_, but found _Beyond Acceptance_ to be better organized.

This book is like having someone hold your hand as you accept the news that someone you love is gay. It is written by parents who share what were their reactions, questions and fears upon learning that their son or daughter is gay. Is is my fault? What will the neighbors think? What will my church think? The book presents parent's own answers to these questions and refers to current outside writing on the subjects addressed. It's "must read" for anyone trying to understand homosexuality, coming-out and how to best understand and love someone who is gay

Beyond good, this book is important. A book from the voices of parents who have lesbian and/or gay children. We have "heard" plenty from lesbians and gays, pleading for understanding and acceptance, so this book gives the readers a voice from "the other" side.

With frank interviews and conversations, we are let in on the angst, the suffering, the fears and disappointments from parents. It covers many aspects of our lives. Most often, the burning question from parents is "what did I do wrong?" Religion, health, acceptance etc....all the way to "should the neighbours know?

This book is honestly written from the hearts of the writers, parents who have been through all of that and more. We learn of how they cope or didn't. The journeys they have taken and what the effects are with a lesbian/gay in the family unit. A must read, not just for parents, but also for lesbians and gays, and their siblings. And for everyone else too - I recommend this book. It creates understanding, not answers, through the conversations with various people. In all, it is almost like sitting in a crowd and listening in on an interesting discussion or conversation and gleaning knowledge and understanding!!

There is an earlier editon from 1990. Try to get the lastest one, I think 1996/7, with updates on issues like AIDS etc...

Buy or borrow this book, read it again and again. Pass it on. For everyone.

This book is written as a resource for parents. I bought and read it before coming out to my parents. Insightful and careful writing to help you understand what your parents might feel when you tell them. Then give them a copy when you have the big discussion. The authors use loads of real-life examples from many different people and situations to help parents understand and relate.

I was pretty impressed with this book as I've now read a couple gay related books. It was nice to hear some of the things other parents experienced in their feelings in finding out they had a gay child. I would highly recommend this book. The more I've read, the more I've come to accept my child being gay - and that is what this is all about!

An excellent resource for parents, families and educators. An in-depth discussion on everyday situations which provide re-assurance, comfort and confidence to openly discuss and share ones concerns. Chapter sections provide real world insights for further discussion between parent and child, parents themselves and with friends and family. The use of case studies, interviews and quotes from 'real' people are fantastic and encourage the reader to reflect upon their own personal experiences.

I read through a few books before finally deciding to buy this one. I got this one in preparation for coming out to my parents. This book not only informs parents of common misconceptions of being gay but also gives them something of a partner in the coming out trials. Very good read. I recommend this for anyone who is has or will come out.

I bought this book for a friend of mine who appreciated it very much. I didn't read it through and through before I gave it to my friend but I did review chapters and felt it was a very thought provoking and insightful book.

This book came from a very negative place. I literally threw it out. I was looking for guidance on how to support my child in his knowing who he is. Wanting to help him with awareness of bullying or anything that would come up that I should be aware of.
This book comes from a place that if your child is homosexual and you are very upset about it as if it is a wrong or bad thing. That is not what I interpreted from the reviews or description. Aren't there any positive supportive books on this subject?

Exactly what was needed. I ordered a copy for myself and one for my parents. Some things were quite confrontational to read, but in the end it was incredibly helpful for both parties. Gives each a different perspective from the issues and helps build some bridges towards acceptance. Thank-you to the authors and parents involved in the interviews.