By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.
Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessityand how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships.
In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection.
In reading this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential.
"If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one."
Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook
"Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned."
Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced
"Beyond Betrayal cuts through the shame, confusion, misunderstanding, and fear that so often accompany the abuse of males and replaces them with clear information. I will begin to use it immediately with my patients and think that other clinicians will do so as well."
Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., author of Healing the Incest Wound and Recollections of Sexual Abuse
"Beyond Betrayal offers men straightforward words of hope and a meaningful way to overcome the invisibility, stigma, and shame they have endured. Many men and their families will find this book a healing aid."
Jack Drescher, M.D., author of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man
"Dr. Gartner writes in a manner any reader will find accessible. Not only does he understand the topic of males, sexual abuse, and recovery, but he can explain it to those who need to know."
Dr. Mic Hunter, author of Abused Boys and editor of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Innovations
Well written, unfortunate subjects. There were some "A-Ha" moments that resonated with me. Would recommend to anyone who has been through that hell.....Published 2 months ago by Gary Fernandez
Book is directed towards boys who have been molested. I was looking more for a gender neutral book about sexual molestation.Published 2 months ago by Zeno
The book never loses focus on its purpose. As I read it I felt like it was written for me, about my experience and questions. The exercises are perfect. Read morePublished 3 months ago by Ron Gage
This excellent book helped me understand why my husband fell apart in midlife, and provided him with his first glimmers of insight into why he was falling apart more than 40 years... Read morePublished 3 months ago by Lou
If you or someone you loved was sexually abused: DO NOT HESITATE!!! Buy this book and "Victims No Longer" by Mike Lew right now!! Read morePublished 5 months ago by Nathan L Ruan
I bought this book after my husband told me about his traumatic past. Without getting into personal details, I stumbled upon an "incident" that made me feel betrayed. Read morePublished 6 months ago by Starz4You
Informative. Enlightening. Comforting. Hopeful. I found relief and comfort knowing I was too different and hope I might still heal.Published 11 months ago by Daniel Davis
When I picked this out I needed a reference on the subject for my practice I FOUND THIS AUTHOR TO BE OPEN CLEAR AND TO THE POINT. Read morePublished 12 months ago by John L Shasteen
Good starter book. Author gives good insights, using case scenarios that match subject matter. Touches on many topics that need a book for themselves to continue work. Read morePublished 14 months ago by DBF