Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your email address or mobile phone number.
Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse Hardcover – April 1, 2005
See the Best Books of the Month
Want to know our Editors' picks for the best books of the month? Browse Best Books of the Month, featuring our favorite new books in more than a dozen categories.
Frequently Bought Together
Customers Who Bought This Item Also Bought
From the Inside Flap
From the Foreword by William Pollack, Ph.D., author of the New York Times bestselling Real Boys
By the age of sixteen, up to one in six boys has unwanted direct sexual contact with an older person. This is rarely talked about, and when it is, shame and embarrassment often stop us from speaking up openly and frankly. Now, this major new book by Dr. Richard Gartner, a pioneering therapist in the field, explores in depth the once-taboo subject of male sexual victimization.
Providing empowering action steps and written specifically for survivors of male sexual abuse as well as their spouses, partners, and loved ones, Beyond Betrayal is based on Richard Gartner's decades of experience as a psychologist, psychoanalyst, and advocate for sexually abused men. Covering both male and female abuse of boys and young men, Dr. Gartner explores the different types of abuse, from sexual abuse with and without touch to covert abuse to trauma, revealing the profound impact of sexual betrayal by such caretakers as clergy, family, teachers, babysitters, and health professionals. Gartner explains how as a child one trusts out of necessityand how the betrayal of that trust ravages one's self-concept as a man while also wreaking havoc on one's relationships.
In this powerful book, Dr. Gartner allows his patients to speak for themselves. The men's heartrending stories convey the full range of long-term devastations of boyhood sexual abuse: the despair, the secrecy, and the isolation; the worry about manhood and sexual orientation; and the difficulties of developing intimate relationships. In sharing their stories, these courageous men demonstrate what bravely deciding to face your inner demons can bring you: trust, resolution, and connection.
In reading this book, you'll discover how to safely experience emotions again and relate to others with confidence and security. Dr. Gartner also helps you shed the long-held conviction that you can either be a man or a victim but not both, and he teaches you how to determine who you really are and develop new, more flexible concepts of masculinity. Beyond Betrayal shows you that you can take charge of your recovery while living your life to its fullest potential.
From the Back Cover
Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping upon the Mountains
"If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one."
Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook
"Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned."
Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced
"Beyond Betrayal cuts through the shame, confusion, misunderstanding, and fear that so often accompany the abuse of males and replaces them with clear information. I will begin to use it immediately with my patients and think that other clinicians will do so as well."
Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., author of Healing the Incest Wound and Recollections of Sexual Abuse
"Beyond Betrayal offers men straightforward words of hope and a meaningful way to overcome the invisibility, stigma, and shame they have endured. Many men and their families will find this book a healing aid."
Jack Drescher, M.D., author of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man
"Dr. Gartner writes in a manner any reader will find accessible. Not only does he understand the topic of males, sexual abuse, and recovery, but he can explain it to those who need to know."
Dr. Mic Hunter, author of Abused Boys and editor of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Innovations
More About the Author
Dr. Gartner is a Training and Supervising Analyst and is on the teaching faculty of the William Alanson White Psychoanalytic Institute in New York City. Founding Director of the White Institute's Sexual Abuse Program, for six years he was Director of its Center for the Study of Psychological Trauma. The White Institute honored Dr. Gartner with its 2004 Director's Award for his contributions to the psychoanalytic understanding of trauma.
A consultant and supervisor at the Trauma Treatment Center of the Manhattan Institute for Psychoanalysis, Dr. Gartner also taught and supervised in the clinical psychology program at Columbia University for twenty years. He attended the Bronx High School of Science and received a B.A. in psychology from Haverford and a doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia. He is licensed as a psychologist in New York State.
Dr. Gartner served on the Board of Directors of MaleSurvivor: the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization (malesurvivor.org) for seven years and was its President from 2002 to 2004. He was Program Chair of MaleSurvivor's 2001 conference, "Healing Sexual Victimization of Boys and Men" and served on the Program Committee for its 2007 conference, "Relief, Recovery, and Restoration: Helping Men Heal from Sexual Abuse." Both conferences were held in New York City at the John Jay College of Criminal Justice, the conference co-sponsor. Currently, Dr. Gartner is MaleSurvivor's media spokesman.
Dr. Gartner was honored by MaleSurvivor at its 2007 conference by the establishment of the Richard Gartner Award for Clinical Contribution, of which he was the first recipient "in recognition of outstanding clinical service to male survivors, their families and loved ones, of contributions to the advancement of knowledge about psychotherapy for such persons, and in gratitude for enriching the understanding of male sexual abuse through multiple publications and media contacts."
Dr. Gartner is a member of the American Psychological Association (Divisions of Psychoanalysis, Men and Masculinity, and Trauma); the New York State Psychological Association (Division of Psychoanalysis); the William Alanson White Psychoanalytic Society; the National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology; the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence; PEN American Center; and MaleSurvivor: the National Organization against Male Sexual Victimization. He serves on the editorial boards of Contemporary Psychoanalysis, the Journal of Trauma and Dissociation, and the American Journal of Psychoanalysis. He is a licensed psychologist in New York State.
Dr. Gartner's books include Beyond Betrayal: Taking Charge of Your Life After Boyhood Sexual Abuse; Betrayed as Boys: Psychodynamic Treatment of Sexually Abused Men; and Memories of Sexual Betrayal: Truth, Fantasy, Repression and Dissociation. Betrayed as Boys was runner up for the 2001 Gradiva Award of the National Association for the Advancement of Psychoanalysis for best book on a clinical subject.
In addition, he has authored numerous articles and chapters including Considerations in the psychoanalytic treatment of men who were sexually abused as children; Relational aftereffects in manhood of boyhood sexual abuse; Sexual victimization of boys by men: Meanings and consequences; An analytic group for sexually abused men; Incestuous Boundary violations in families of borderline patients; and Predatory priests: Sexually abusing Fathers.
Dr. Gartner has spoken and lectured widely about the sexual abuse of boys and its consequences for men in such diverse locations as the American Psychological and Psychiatric Associations; the Harvard University Medical School; the Sandor Ferenczi Society in Budapest; the Federal Bureau of Investigation; and numerous universities, rape intervention programs, and hospitals. Interviews with him have appeared in such media print outlets as the New York Times, Associated Press, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, USA Today, The Nation, and New York Newsday. In addition, he has been featured on CNN, CBS, Fox News, NBC News Channel, MSNBC, and ABC.com, among others, and on radio stations in the United States, Canada, Australia, and South Africa.
Dr. Gartner was also interviewed in the 2004 Emmy-nominated WABC-TV documentary "Protect Our Children: Teenage Boys and the Wall of Silence" and in 2005 was the subject of a full-length interview in the Science Times section of the New York Times (http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9B01EFD7153DF932A35750C0A9639C8B63).
Top Customer Reviews
The author offers case studies that apply this information over a broad spectrum so that most men are offered information for recovery, regardless of specifics such as the gender of the abuser, the dynamics of the situation, and the sexual orientation of the person who experienced abuse. This author expresses no apparent assumptions about abuse influencing sexual orientation. The material is inclusive and comprehensive. He clarifies that many abused men feel uncertain about sexual orientation, and that "abused homosexual and bisexual men have a lot of the same questions about masculinity as abused heterosexual men." He also offers clarification about gender identity apart from sexual orientation.
The author offers unique information about unconscious, self-defeating ways of defining and dealing with masculinity in the wake of abuse, and alternate guidance to provide a healthy contrast to these patterns. **A secondary observation is that some of these counterproductive means of interpreting masculinity after abuse might resemble the bad advice and confusing misguidance of well-intentioned but misinformed friends, or others who attempt to offer advice or reinterpretation of post-abuse reality.** Bravo.
The information on boundaries is comprehensive. The author walks the reader through the effects of abuse on the ways boundaries are formed, not formed, or compromised, and talks about reactions to boundary violations. This developmental approach can assist the reader in seeing how this affects life and relationships at present.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The book was what I expected. Very disappointed with the shipping information provided, though.Published 10 days ago by Melissa Lawler
This author is the best I have ever read on this subject which is much needed in the therapeutic communityPublished 1 month ago by Darlene H. Terry
I think the majority of the book was very helpful in suggesting the reasons behind much of my life and for absolving me. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Bre
Well written, unfortunate subjects. There were some "A-Ha" moments that resonated with me. Would recommend to anyone who has been through that hell.....Published 10 months ago by Gary Fernandez
Book is directed towards boys who have been molested. I was looking more for a gender neutral book about sexual molestation.Published 11 months ago by Kathryn Baird
The book never loses focus on its purpose. As I read it I felt like it was written for me, about my experience and questions. The exercises are perfect. Read morePublished 12 months ago by Ron Gage
This excellent book helped me understand why my husband fell apart in midlife, and provided him with his first glimmers of insight into why he was falling apart more than 40 years... Read morePublished 12 months ago by Lou
If you or someone you loved was sexually abused: DO NOT HESITATE!!! Buy this book and "Victims No Longer" by Mike Lew right now!! Read morePublished 13 months ago by NR