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Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes

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Disclosure: I know Therese Borchard, Therese Borchard is a friend of mine, and let me tell you, the Therese Borchard in the pages of Beyond Blue is the Therese Borchard I know and love. I am a book editor and publisher (not of Beyond Blue) and the thing I look for most in new books is authenticity, honesty, and a lightness to leaven a powerful theme. That is all here. Therese has been through the hell of clincal depression, still struggles with it, and tells her story in Beyond Blue in such a way that it is the story of everyone else who has gone through this hell. Her book will surely help readers transcend their suffering and regain a sense of lightness as well as understanding and compassion for themselves and otehrs.. If I were a doctor or a minister or any kind of mental health professional, I'd have copies of Beyond Blue on my desk to give to those who come to me for support. I may know the author but I also know a genuinely helpful book when I read one, and this is it.

When I knew I was going to be writing about her book, I sent a Facebook message to Therese Borchard.

"Review on the way," I told her. "Don't kill yourself this weekend."

It felt good to write that cheeky message, because Therese Borchard wasn't likely to kill herself over the weekend. And I think it's a good bet she won't do herself in this week, or anytime soon. And not because she has two kids who need her or a husband who loves her, but because she had the courage to go beyond seven inferior therapists and well-meaning but addled New Age healers and --- at last --- found caring, talented professionals who actually helped her.

This is not quite the same thing as dreaming of a killer dress and trying every store in town until you find it.

As she writes, by way of introduction, at the start of Beyond Blue: Surviving Depression & Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes:

"I'm a manic-depressive, an alcoholic, and an adult child of an alcoholic; a codependent, a boundaries violator and a stage-four people-pleaser; an information hoarder or a clutter magnet; an Internet abuser; and an obsessive-compulsive or ritual-performing weirdo; a sugar addict; a caffeine junkie; a reformed binge smoker, and an exercise fanatic; a hormonally unbalanced female, a PMS-prone time bomb, and a sexually dysfunctional or neutered creature, a workaholic; an HSP (highly sensitive person); and, of course, I'm Catholic."

In clinical terms: suicidal for almost two years, endured 22 failed medication combinations, twice committed to a psych ward.

In laymen's terms: a full-blown trainwreck, barely holding on to life.

And, now, obviously, better. Much better. That is, realistically better --- she has good days and bad days. Which she chronicles in her blog on Beliefnet. And in videos that pierce the heart.

"Beyond Blue" is the best first-person account I've read about the experience of manic depression. It's not that Therese Borchard is a great writer, like William Styron, who produced a great writer's account of depression in Darkness Visible. Her gifts are clarity, honesty and humor. That is, it amazes her that she spends weeks on end wishing she were dead, but can write about it....

"I remember sitting in the car after I drove home from the last day of my intensive outpatient program-after the nurses basically told me I was out of luck --- if you weren't fixed in eight weeks, they couldn't do anything else for you. I had tried absolutely everything, but I still wanted to die."

"So I issued God an ultimatum in the car. I sat there, with a bag of about 20 bottles of prescription drugs next to me (which was my exit out of this life), and told him I was getting the hell out of this place because I had tried everything, EVERYTHING, and nothing was working. Obviously He didn't give a damn. I shouted, "Give me a sign I'm supposed to hang on, or else I am out of here. I am so out of here if you don't let me know you are with me!"

"After about 20 minutes of wailing, I decided to go inside and, on the way into my house, checked the mailbox. There was a letter written by a woman I had met at a conference, and she sent me a medal of St. Therese that was an exact copy to the one that I had been carrying in my pocket ever since the depression set in."

"I knew from that point on that, even though I didn't always feel God's helping hand, that I must somehow try to have faith in him."

Faith takes many forms, and a spiritual/religious belief may not be required. Borchard also had faith in her final therapist, who advised her to check in to Johns Hopkins and changed her drug cocktail. She had faith in the six people she knew she could call when she felt the walls come crashing down. And, finally, she had faith in herself --- she accepted that this bad day was only one day, that tomorrow was a fresh chance, that better could come.

For a long time, one of her doctors notes, Therese Borchard "carried a bag of rocks" on her back. In short chapters, short on technical writing but long on facts about the brain, she shows us the weight and then, one by one, lightens her load. She's not giddy with joy at book's end --- this is a book that deals in stark reality.

But that reality is an enormous achievement. She understands that she's not to blame for her dysfunctions. She grasps that her illness is exactly that --- a sickness. And she shows you how, with good therapy and smart self-care, depression need not be a death sentence.

"Beyond Blue" can save lives. If you or someone you care about is suffering from gloom that's deeper than the blahs, I can think of no better gift than this book.

What if you were afflicted by major depression, AND obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), AND manic-depressive tendencies, AND anxiety issues - what would you be?

Well, Therese Borchard, I guess!

I just finished reading her story in her book Beyond Blue (Surviving Depression and Anxiety and Making the Most of Bad Genes), which grew out of her Beyond Blue blog.

Why would I care about such a book? Well, because of my own history with depression. There's a unique window of understanding that fellow sufferers have, and I found it fascinating to trace Therese's thoughts and experiences in this volume.

And, I also felt immensely grateful that I did not experience the cocktail of disorders she seeks to survive daily!

Now I'll come right out and say that unless you are suffering with one of these disorders, or seeking to help someone else who is, you might find it to be heavy weather navigating Beyond Blue. However, for those with skewed brain chemistry, this is a valuable resource, for one overriding reason: You're not alone.

The greatest value of Terese's writing is that she very transparently, and often humorously, describes the day-to-day travails of living with a mind that refuses to stay within "normal" bounds. For those suffering with these afflictions, it can be tremendously lonely to experience the guilt, the confusion, the hopelessness that cannot be controlled by force of will. When she describes considering suicide 20 times a day, you cringe - but that's a silent and hideous reality for many folks, and Therese forthrightly lays it all out there.

Her writing style reflects her thought patterns, so there is an interesting "jumpiness" and spontaneity in the the book. This is not a highly structured medical treatise, but almost a train-of-thought account of living with multiple conditions. That humanity, that surprising candor, is what makes this Terese's story in a unique way. As a wife and mother, she is very open about how mental illness impacts her relationships. She's a very lovable nutcase (yes, she refers to herself in such language!) and I'd love to stroll around Annapolis and talk with her further!

I found the book moving, not because of its literary style, but because of its raw humanity. It's not easy to admit to struggles with mental illness. People don't understand why you walk under a dark cloud, why you feel like the most worthless person to walk the planet, why drugs (and other interventions) may be an absolute necessity to achieve day-to-day sanity. Therese is providing a valuable service to many just by being herself and hanging it all out there, dirty laundry and all.

And so I will take this opportunity to thank her, not just for sending the book, but for being Therese. There's a whole bunch of folks out there who need help getting beyond blue.

Therese Borchard is a courageous person. She would probably be uncomfortable with that declaration, but it comes through loud and clear in her book, "Beyond Blue." On Beliefnet, Therese has reached a large audience by sharing the intimate details of her battle with bi-polar disorder through her blog, Beyond Blue. Her honesty has freed many of her readers to tell the truth about a disease that continues to carry a stigma in society.

In her book, as in her blog, Therese is a tireless advocate for wholeness and health. She recognizes the person suffering from depression and anxiety as one comprised of body, mind, soul, and spirit, and integrates all through the chapters. If you are a family member, or a friend of someone who suffers from anxiety, depression, or bi-polar disorder, you will be inspired as well, by the support Therese has received from her husband, Eric. Readers of her blog, as I've been almost since its inception, will be surprised at how much you can still learn from her book. It is filled with wisdom clothed in humor.

the author of this book suffers from bi-polar disorder, not clinical depression. They are very different psychiatric disorders. If you have been diagnosed with clinical depression this book may not be for you. A lot of the book is irrelevant to clinical depressives, so the title of the book is a little misleading. I have been diagnosed as clinically depressed on and off over the years, so I read the book from this perspective. If you are clinically depressed, read "The Noonday Demon" by Andrew Simon.

If you have been diagnosed by an MD as bi-polar and are looking for a good book on bi-polar disorder, first read Dr. Kay Redfield Jameson's book, "An Unquiet Mind" for advice. She's an MD and also bi-polar sufferer. Then read this book if you want the patient's perspective.

From a purely biographical perspective the book is worth reading just to see what she "went through" before she got help. Like others, she struggled with several shrinks who badly misdiagnosed her disorder, friends/relatives who were clueless and unsympathetic, people close to her who had no idea how sick she was. It was very frustrating to me to see how much this poor woman suffered because the people around her had no idea that she was sick. Maybe they just were in denial. At several points I wanted to throttle her husband.

The prose style is very frenetic, sort of like a stand up comedian on meth. I found it irritating after awhile.

Therese puts this book in terms anyone suffering from depression or having a family member who suffers from depression or bi-polar disorder can understand. I read this book for the first time on my Kindle. I just ordered my own personal copy so I can use a marker, write in the margins, etc. Reading Beyond Blue has helped me understand myself and my ongoing battle with depression. I encourage anyone who suffers with depression to read this book. You will be forever grateful to Therese Bouchard.

I have bought and read many books from Amazon, this was the very first time I felt compelled to write a review.

Beyond Blue is an incredible book. It is a book for anyone with depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder. It is a book for anyone with a loved one who suffers from these disorders. In fact, it's a book for anyone! I've been a huge fan of Therese and her blog, Beyond Blue, for some time. That's why I asked to interview her about her eating disorder for my body image blog, Weightless (she graciously said yes). Since then, we've become friends. But I don't recommend her book as a friend; I recommend it as a reader, as someone who's read many memoirs and has written about mental illness. I love her unflinchingly frank, raw, hilarious and poignant writing style. I love that she strives to provide accurate information by interviewing a variety of experts and finding out as much as she can about depression.

And I genuinely loved her book, Beyond Blue.

Here's what I loved about the book: Therese is real. She writes from the heart. Her recovery doesn't come neatly wrapped up in a bow and she doesn't pretend that it does. She recounts her deepest, darkest moments. And when a certain treatment doesn't work, she says so. She genuinely tells it like it is. And she's funny. This book made me laugh and it made me tear up and it made me look at depression in a different light.

Beyond Blue is also inspiring and hopeful. In the worst of her depression, Therese spends her days devising suicide plans and shaking in her closet. She tries a variety of alternative treatments, goes through six psychiatrists (including one she calls "Pharma King"), takes over 20 medication combinations and is hospitalized several times. Yet, Therese is resilient. With the help of her husband, Eric, Therese finally finds a great psychiatrist at Johns Hopkins and begins to get better. She shows us that no matter how much you're suffering, it will pass and you will get better. She shows us that a person can be highly accomplished, can go through gut- and heart-wrenching struggles and come out alive and able to work toward recovery. She shows us that finding the right treatment may take time, that it isn't your fault, that you may come across clinicians and psychiatrists who aren't a good fit for you, who don't understand your diagnosis. That doesn't mean that you can't recover or that you are hopeless. It probably means that you need to find another doctor or another treatment. And she gives readers the tools and tips to help them better understand depression and its treatment. She does a lot of myth-busting about medication and the causes of depression, too.

Another thing I love about Beyond Blue is that Therese talks about her many experiences with people who told her to abandon medications, with ministers who told her to pray more instead, with friends who brushed off her depression and didn't grasp why she couldn't just snap out of it. Individuals with any disorder probably have encountered similar types of stigma and misunderstanding throughout their lives. Therese helps readers realize that people will be misinformed but you don't have to internalize these judgments. Most people may not understand but that's OK. That doesn't discount your disorder or your treatment. She writes: "The longer I am well, the less I care about converting the world to my own health philosophies. And the more I share my story with depressives who understand every word I say and hear their tales of triumph over this beast, the more I am able to simply shrug and laugh at an offensive comment about crazies who take meds, then say under my breath, `They just don't get it.'"

In Beyond Blue, Therese also details her own 12-step program, which has helped her get better and helps her today. The steps include finding the right doctor and the right combination of medication; keeping a mood/gratitude journal; exercising; praying and meditating; and seeing a therapist. Throughout the book, she refers to research studies and experts. Beyond Blue empowers readers to become well-informed consumers.

All in all, I can't say enough wonderful things about Beyond Blue. It's well-written, inspiring, informative, empowering and powerful. I think it should be required reading. If you're suffering from depression, anxiety or bipolar disorder, hand this book to your loved ones to help them get a deeper understanding of these disorders. But first, be sure to read it because it'll help you better understand yourself and your treatment options.

STORYTELLING IS EASY BUT THERE IS SOMETHING MORE DIRECT AND COURAGEOUS IN WRITING A BOOK ABOUT "Surviving (one's own)Depression and Anxiety." "Beyond Blue" is a comprehensive account of one woman's struggle, but better it is one woman's philosophy and belief system. This book has pracical 'HOW TO' chapters as well as stories, anecdotes and autobiography. There is not one person on earth who cannot relate to at least some part of this book.Through Borchard's revelations, some will find kinship, many will find relief, others guidance and solace...but above all, it is highly readable or else how could we get to all those good things above!
Grace Cavalieri

One of the reviews from the back cover:

"It's a clinician's dream to recommend a resource with such honest and accessible wisdom, research, and guidance from someone who has endured depression firsthand. Beyond Blue is the most even-handed account of overcoming depression through psychological and spiritual resources I've ever seen." -- Ryan Howes, PhD, author of the "In Therapy" blog at Psychology Today

My review:

This self-help memoir is the most enjoyable and personable self-help book I have read. I have been really looking forward to reading it after following the author's blog, and my expectations were met and exceeded.

If you like Therese Borchard's blog, you will love her book. For those who don't already know, Therese's blog "Beyond Blue" is one of the most candid, helpful blogs on overcoming depression and anxiety. As with her blog, Therese is very open and candid in this book, which reads more like a conversation over coffee than a prescription of self-help advice. And she includes insights she has gathered over the years from various people, including psychiatrists, therapists, and other authors.

The book is both practical and uplifting, and it exceeds at what it sets out to do: "My sincere intention for Beyond Blue is that anyone who struggles with anxiety or depression--even in the slightest way--might find a companion in me, some consolation in the incredibly personal details of my story, and a bit of hope to lighten an often dark and lonely place." For me, Therese hits a home run when she uses her humorous anecdotes to address and help allay the self-doubt, guilt, stigma, and other forms of shame experienced with depression and anxiety.

At less than $15, the book is a small price to pay for Therese's hard-won insights that are fun and easy to read. I would recommend this book as a perfect supplement to Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David Burns, who Therese also mentions in the book. Based on the helpfulness of Beyond Blue, I have already pre-ordered Therese's next book due out in April: The Pocket Therapist: An Emotional Survival Kit.

An online preview of Beyond Blue is available at the publisher's website.

Table of Contents:

Part I. Drink, Pray, Cry (My Story):
Prelude: The Black Hole of Bile: It's Not Forever
Introduction: Confessions of a Holy Whackjob
1. Prayer, Piety and Panic: Depression in My Younger Years
2. BMI (Body Mass Issues): Depression in My Thighs
3. Booze: The Quiet Car in My Very Loud Brain
4. It's Depression: Naming the Pain
5. From the Maternity Ward to the Psych Ward: Four Simple Steps
6. "Honey, I Think It's Time!": The Day I Cracked
7. Mind over Spoon: When Yoga and Meditation Aren't Enough
8. The Land of Oz: My Happy Ending
9. Exuberance: What's Underneath the Bumps

Part II. Beyond Blue (Or At Least Headed That Way):
10. No Really, I'm Not Making It Up: Depression is a Brain Disease
11. Work, It, Girlfriend! My 12-Step Program
12. Monkey Brains: Anxiety Under Construction
13. Filling In the Gap: My SEF (Self-Esteem File)
14. When the World Overwhelms You and You Overwhelm the World: On Being Highly Sensitive
15. Sorry, Wrong Number: Codependency and Boundaries
16. Risking Intimacy: Sex, Marriage, and Depression
17. The Least Harmful Addiction (Because I Have So Many)
Epilogue: I, Too, Have a Dream
Back Matter: Recommended Reading, Acknowledgments, Index, About the Author

Self-help "sanity breaks" interspersed throughout the book:

9 Ways to Stop Obsessing
The Prison of Perfectionism
11 Ways You Know You're an Addict
Love the Questions
30 Ways Motherhood is Like Mental Illness
How I Met My Guardian Angel
They Just Don't Get It
Dear Kate: It Will Get Better
On Perseverance
Guilt: My Confirmation Name
Jesus Says to Chill Out
Love Her: My New Mantra
Four Steps to Better Boundaries
Use Your Words
On Marrying a Head Case

I got a copy of this book to review on my blog, and assumed it would be another "self-help" psychobabble book about depression/anxiety/bipolar/etc. I was wrong. This is a shameless look at depression from a young woman who has lived it, and how she came out on the other side to help others who are suffering. Having "bad genes" myself, and struggling with depression for 20+ years now, I was amazed at how similar Therese's experiences are/were to my own. And it's nice to know (though not, if you know what I mean) that someone else actually, truly, really DOES understand. She also provides great information on treatments on the medical side of things, but I was most impressed with the candor and humor that she displays in related her attempts to deal with these most debilitating illnesses. As she says in the beginning of the book - depressives have to laugh at themselves sometimes! You will laugh, and maybe even cry, but you will finish this book knowing you're not alone and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Best book on the subject I've ever read (and I've read a lot of them!).