Customer Reviews

Beyond Chaos: One Man's Journey Alongside His Chronically Ill Wife

5 star:		(13)
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3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(2)
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Hello, I have numerous chronic illness and pain problems and am finding it very hard to get support because many of my symptoms are subjective or "invisible". I have FMS, MPS, CFS, DDD, Bulging discs and numerous spinal problems, plus chronic pain syndrome. My only support is my husband and he's still in the denial stages, so I picked up this book for HIM. I read it 1st and put tiny little notes in the margin for him. The book is separated into 4 sections and each section has suggested very helpful exercises for the reader. It teaches communication and strengthening of the marriage, this book shows how one can be supportive without using the usual patient/caretaker roles that can be demeaning and frustrating to both. I read the book in 2 days and I highly recommend it to the partner of anyone suffering any chronic condition (and also to the person suffering as well). The book is thoroughly honest and open about the total experience of dealing with a partner, accepting the losses and grieving the way your partner used to be then appreciating the person your partner is now. It is the only book of this kind available and even if there were 50 like it, this one would be at the top of the list.

There is more to Beyond Chaos by Gregg Piburn than meets the eye. Billed as "One Man's Journey Alongside His Chronically Ill Wife", it is not just a story of how one couple dealt with the challenges of chronic illness. It is also a guide to improving your communication skills while exploring motives of self and applying your personal growth
to marriage, parenting and other relationships affected by chronic illness. Gregg Piburn is a management consultant by trade and conducts effectiveness and growth seminars for corporate managers and their teams. He has deftly adapted and applied his skills as a corporate coach to personal challenges. In Beyond Chaos, he covers what he refers to as "The Four Phases" of personal growth people must journey through to a higher level: Pseudo Community (Plastic People), Chaos (Angry People), Emptiness (Vunerable People), Community (Real People). Gregg Piburn describes the emotions and reactions belonging to each phase and real life examples that he, his wife Sherrie and their children experienced along the way. This book definitely operates on more than one level and is more than a guide for "caretakers" or an insightful view of the other side of the chronic illness experience for "patients". Gregg Piburn offers the reader an inside look at how chronic illness changed nearly every aspect of his and wife, Sherrie's life together. And he encourages others dealing with chronic illness to think outside the box, drop limiting labels like "caretaker" and "patient" (italics his, not mine) and challenge yourself to move beyond the frustration, anger and guilt. This is a worthwhile read for all human beings wishing to live at a higher level. Honesty, courage, openness and revelation about the relationship between a healthy spouse and a chronically ill spouse grace this book. Gregg Piburn invites you to expand your emotional horizons and soar above your challenges.

I have fibromyalgia and this book brought me to tears at times knowing that my husband is feeling the same way as this author. The stress on the spouses is enormous, I found this book hard to put down because "we" are living it!! It does leave you with the feeling that "the Intruder" in anyone's life is unwelcome..a true pain...but that love and determination can see you through!! I highly recommend this book.

I read an excerpt from this book in a magazine, and knew that I had to buy this book. Mr. Piburn has written a brilliant book about what can happen when fibromyalgia, a very misunderstood and mis-diagnosed disease, enters your family. Fibromyalgia can destroy a family -- I've seen it all too often.

Mr. Piburn's journey has been a difficult one, and I applaud him for writing this book. I think that this book is useful not just for fibro families, but for anyone who has a loved one suffering from a chronic condition or disease.

I cannot think of enough superlatives to describe this book -- you will have to read it for yourself to find out.

Thank you, Mr. Piburn, for being so honest and brave enough to write this book. And, also to the Piburn family. I am going to recommend this book at my next support group meeting.

So hard for people to understand and tolerate illness of a once active person. My husband needed this book so badly. He bought it on his own and reads it alot. He has read portions to me and we both sit and cry afterwards. I want so badly to be well and move like I use to. I have wanted to give up so many times and tried once. I hate the idea of being a burdon. I blame myself so much. I am in the process of forgiving myself for being sick and getting on with my life. CFS, fibromyoalgia, Hashimotos Disease and other illness have made me different. I will one day be well again. I never ever want pitty just understanding. Eleesa in Kentucky

As soon as I read the introductory essay, I was hooked. Due to Piburn's easy to read and conversational writing style, I felt I was sitting with a friend and discussing how he entered the unknown world of doctors, hospitals, and illness and emerged on the other side as a stronger person. Granted it was his wife, Sherry, who was (and is) ill, but the purpose of this book is to reflect how Piburn battled with his own feelings, perceived weaknesses and guilt when faced with the dilemma of playing the "caretaker" role. The book draws a picture of a "normal" family who was hit with the realization that life is not easy. Although this portrayal of the family could have been sappy and contrived, I felt the presentation of the facts never made me pity the Piburn's or the situation in which they abruptly found themselves thrown. Instead I found myself drawn to the way they were able to grow through the experience. Piburn was willing to strip himself bare in order to help the reader learn from his mistakes. The added bonus for me was the transportability of this information into all aspects of your life...not just how you deal with a chronically ill family member, but how you work with a team of co-workers, how you communicate with friends, etc. It deals with the tough issue of getting past the trap of wearing a "happy face," avoiding conflict and living with dishonesty and moving to an environment of truth and courage. I would recommend this book without hesitation to just about anyone who finds himself in a situation where interaction with people plays a major role in his life.

This is one of the best books on how people cope with Fibro that I have read. This man is honest about how he feels and how he struggles in his role as caretaker of an ill spouse. It helped give me insight into what my husband must go through in helping to keep me sane and well as this illness steals both our lives.

Beyond Chaos is one of the best books for men who have a wife who lives with a chronic illness. A few years after recommending this book to many people I mentioned it to someone who is "a good friend" of the author, Gregg Piburn. She shared with me just how much heart went into this book.

This book is not from the perspective of a "know it all" and "follow my directions." It's written by a humble man who daily feels inadequate for this journey he has been called on to care for his ill wife. His deep love and constant support is obvious, but he still struggles with the feeling that he's put his foot in his mouth one more time.

I think his vulnerability is what makes this book a gem and one that men can actually relate to and find comfort and encouragement in. More books like this need to exist, but time will never make this one any less worthwhile. 10 stars!

This book was a delight to read. I highly recommend it especially for men who are dealing with chronic illness in their family. It was a honest, heartfelt story of the pitfalls and challenges faced as a family struggles to deal with life's roller coaster of events beyond their control.

Although this book was obviously written for people who have loved ones with chronic illness, it's message would benefit everyone. This book is really about communication and relationships. It's about how to move your relationships to a higher level of trust and understanding. Anyone who is in a relationship, a family, or any type of community would greatly benefit from reading this moving, yet humorously presented, story. This author has opened his heart and soul for all of us to learn. Excellent!