Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time and over one million other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more
Qty:1
  • List Price: $15.95
  • Save: $2.95 (18%)
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
In Stock.
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com.
Gift-wrap available.
FREE Shipping on orders over $35.
Used: Acceptable | Details
Condition: Used: Acceptable
Comment: Fast Shipping - Safe and Secure Bubble Mailer!
Have one to sell? Sell on Amazon
Flip to back Flip to front
Listen Playing... Paused   You're listening to a sample of the Audible audio edition.
Learn more
See all 2 images

Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time Paperback – April 1, 1989


See all 11 formats and editions Hide other formats and editions
Amazon Price New from Used from
Kindle
"Please retry"
Paperback
"Please retry"
$13.00
$3.80 $0.01


Frequently Bought Together

Beyond Codependency: And Getting Better All the Time + Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself + The Language of Letting Go: Hazelden Meditation Series
Price for all three: $32.81

Buy the selected items together

NO_CONTENT_IN_FEATURE

Product Details

  • Paperback: 252 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden (April 1, 1989)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0894865838
  • ISBN-13: 978-0894865831
  • Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (71 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #15,380 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Adult children of alcoholics and drug abusers will want to peruse this encouraging sequel to Beattie's groundbreaking book on the dynamics of codependency ( Codependent No More ). She focuses here on the process of recovering from the self-defeating behaviors adopted as survival tactics by adult children of families rendered dysfunctional by parental alcoholism or similar traumas. Beattie's strength is short, sharply delineated portraits of ordinary people learning to recognize and avoid unhealthy practices--obsessive concern for the welfare of others at one's own expense, lack of self-esteem, etc. The author stresses the practical, offering possible ways to cope with difficulties and suggesting "activities" ("What would a diagram of your recovery look like?") at the end of each chapter. And Beattie maintains the sensitive, supportive tone epitomized in the opening chapter: "Let's love ourselves for how far we've come. Let's see how far we can go." The uninitiated may be put off initially by her jargon, but the author's wisdom and common sense soon become apparent. 175,000 first printing; $125,000 ad/promo; author tour.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Codependency is a term applying not only to the spouses of alcoholics and drug abusers, but to any "person who has let someone else's behavior affect him or her, and is obsessed with controlling that person's behavior." In her best-selling Codependent No More , and now here, Beattie draws on her own experience and on the insights developed by a whole U.S. subculture devoted to treatment and to participation in 12-step programs such as AA and Al-Anon. There are a lot of books circulating in this subculture, but Beattie reaches out to the mass market. She covers the usual codependency topics--oneself and one's needs, family of origin, intimacy, boundaries, conflict resolution, children, relationships, and relapse or recycle--but places them all in the infrequently considered context of how to keep going with a recovery process once it's begun.
- Janice Dunham, John Jay Coll. Lib., New York
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

More About the Author

Melody Beattie is one of America's most beloved self-help authors and a household name in addiction and recovery circles. Her international bestselling book, Codependent No More, introduced the world to the term "codependency" in 1986. Millions of readers have trusted Melody's words of wisdom and guidance because she knows firsthand what they're going through. In her lifetime, she has survived abandonment, kidnapping, sexual abuse, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce, and the death of a child. "Beattie understands being overboard, which helps her throw bestselling lifelines to those still adrift," said Time Magazine.

Melody was born in St. Paul, Minnesota in 1948. Her father left home when she was a toddler, and she was raised by her mother. She was abducted by a stranger at age four. Although she was rescued the same day, the incident set the tone for a childhood of abuse, and she was sexually abused by a neighbor throughout her youth. Her mother turned a blind eye, just as she had denied the occurrence of abuse in her own past.

"My mother was a classic codependent," Melody recalls. "If she had a migraine, she wouldn't take an aspirin because she didn't do drugs. She believed in suffering." Unlike her mother, Melody was determined to self-medicate her emotional pain. Beattie began drinking at age 12, was a full-blown alcoholic by age 13, and a junkie by 18, even as she graduated from high school with honors. She ran with a crowd called "The Minnesota Mafia" who robbed pharmacies to get drugs. After several arrests, a judge mandated that she had to "go to treatment for as long as it takes or go to jail."

Melody continued to score drugs in treatment until a spiritual epiphany transformed her. "I was on the lawn smoking dope when the world turned this purplish color. Everything looked connected--like a Monet painting. It wasn't a hallucination; it was what the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous calls 'a spiritual awakening.' Until then, I'd felt entitled to use drugs. I finally realized that if I put half as much energy into doing the right thing as I had into doing wrong, I could do anything," Beattie said.

After eight months of treatment, Melody left the hospital clean and sober, ready to take on new goals: helping others get sober, and getting married and having a family of her own. She married a former alcoholic who was also a prominent and respected counselor and had two children with him. Although she had stopped drinking and using drugs, she found herself sinking in despair. She discovered that her husband wasn't sober; he'd been drinking and lying about it since before their marriage.

During her work with the spouses of addicts at a treatment center, she realized the problems that had led to her alcoholism were still there. Her pain wasn't about her husband or his drinking; it was about her. There wasn't a word for codependency yet. While Melody didn't coin the term codependency, she became passionate about the subject. What was this thing we were doing to ourselves?

Driven into the ground financially by her husband's alcoholism, Melody turned a life-long passion for writing into a career in journalism, writing about the issues that had consumed her for years. Her 24-year writing career has produced fifteen books published in twenty languages and hundreds of newspaper and magazine articles. She has been a frequent guest on many national television shows, including Oprah. She and her books continue to be featured regularly in national publications including Time, People, and most major periodicals around the world.

Although it almost destroyed her when her twelve-year-old son Shane died in a ski accident in 1991, eventually Melody picked up the pieces of her life again. "I wanted to die, but I kept waking up alive," she says. She began skydiving, mountain-climbing, and teaching others what she'd learned about grief.

Customer Reviews

This book has helped me understand why I do the things I do.
REBCCA E SIRIGIANO
This book is a must read for anyone in a codependent relationship!
C. Ebeling
I work several 12-step programs, and this book really helps me.
Stephanie

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

71 of 74 people found the following review helpful By Andrew Parodi TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on September 6, 2002
Format: Paperback
This is Melody Beattie's second book and is the sequel to the hugely successful CODEPENDENT NO MORE. If it was the job of the first book to introduce that word - "codependent" - then it is the job of this book to elaborate on the condition and what we are supposed to do with our lives once we are no longer afflicted by it. The result, of course, is that this book does not have quite the "sway" that the first book does. But it is still worth reading if you are a fan of Beattie or are interested in this topic.
A lot of insults have been hurled at the concept of "codependent" over the last several years, and I suspect that most of it has to do with the fuzzy definition of the word itself, and the somewhat "vague" nature of recovery from this condition. In other words, you know an alcoholic has "recovered" when they stop drinking, a drug addict has recovered when they stop taking drugs, a kleptomaniac has recovered when they stop stealing, and so on. . . . But what exactly is a codependent and how do you know when you have recovered from it? What *observable affects* can be measured? Basically, a "codependent" is a person who believes their happiness lies in another person and then becomes obsessed with controlling that other person. That is the definition Beattie provides in her first book, and if you weren't satisfied with that definition or explanation, then you won't be satisfied with this book either. BEYOND CODEPENDENCY is geared toward people who have accepted the author's premise, and who are ready to follow her toward her description of what recovery means. The author indicates that one knows they have recovered from codependency when they stop seeking for approval in others and are content with their own appraisals of their self-worth.
Read more ›
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
84 of 89 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 19, 1999
Format: Paperback
Once Melody Beattie's Codependent No More has been "digested", Beyond Codependency helps to move the recovering codependent past the hurt and on to the business of literally changing behaviors and making a better life. I absolutely recommend this book above any others to recovering codependents.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
37 of 37 people found the following review helpful By Neal J. Pollock VINE VOICE on December 4, 2004
Format: Paperback
While I have not read the author's other works, I thought this a very valuable book in and of itself. It sheds much light on the topic and helped me to become sensitized to the (once the book was read) obvious signs of codependency in people. By doing this, it enabled me to avoid situations where I could become codependent in a relationship. I think that, as in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, there are levels of psychological situations and/or problems. Thus, there may be people inherently inclined towards codependency, but there may also be people who are thrust into it due to the demands of others. The latter may find this book incredibly helpful in avoiding such relationships and in helping their dependent person seek real help vs. codependency from another person. There are also a number of great quotes by the author in this book. A few are:

p. 70: "It's hard to feel compassion for someone while that person is using or victimizing us."

p. 71: "If everything looks black, we've probably got our eyes shut."

p. 164: "Who we're in a relationship with says as much about us as it does about them."

Earnie Tucker (quoted by Melody Beattie)

Codependency is not something to make light of, it's as much (if not more) the codependent's problem as the dependent's. As Caroline Casey humorously noted in "Making the Gods Work for You" (Harmony Books NY 1998), on page 72:

"What do codependents see when they die? Someone else's life flashes before their eyes."
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
34 of 35 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 26, 2000
Format: Paperback
Wonderful book. It pointed out so many things that I wasn't aware were co-dependant issues that I have. Helped put the answers of why I do the things I do that for so long I lacked. She helps you no longer feel alone. Good book for anyone who is ready to face this and stop it.
1 Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful By Marcus Nunez on August 11, 2006
Format: Audio Cassette Verified Purchase
The truth of the matter is:

We don't want to hear it and we make any excuse to deny it. This book is a denial killer!

I have been in recovery for years and let me just tell you, Beattie is right on top of the root problem. No matter who reads the words, the truth is loud and clear. I would recommend this item to anyone having problems with any relationship.

You don't need to be a doctor or a shrink to see the writing on the wall. Beattie spells it out and even if you don't agree, it will open your mind to change. Worth every penny spent!
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on October 12, 2003
Format: Paperback
This book explains to us that, unfortunately we are not in our relationships just for the sake of "love". There is a lot more that explains why we are together with the people we are together with. It tells us about he "Hows" and "Whys" of ourselves and our relationships. It is painful to learn these things, but learning these things is the only way we can shed our next layer of skin and more on with our personal development. If you are in tune with your real self, many of these things the authors says in this book will click inside. If you'd like another great book on this topic, I suggest you read "The Ever-Transcending Spirit" by Toru Sato. It is even better in the way it explains the patterns we develop both in our minds and in our relationships. I'm sure you will love it if you like to really learn about relationships.
Comment Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Sending feedback...
Thank you for your feedback. If this review is inappropriate, please let us know.
Sorry, we failed to record your vote. Please try again

Most Recent Customer Reviews


What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?