Beyond Consequences, Logic, & Control, Volume 2 [Paperback]

Heather T. Forbes (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 7, 2008

We are living in one of the most stressful times in human history. This abundance of stress is impacting families and in many cases, manifesting itself in children with difficult and severe behaviors. Homes often turn into intense fighting grounds of power struggles and control battles parents find themselves in us against them scenarios with their children. Tension continually builds and before long, parents are feeling completely overwhelmed, powerless, and resentful of their children. As parents implement traditional parenting techniques, parenting in a way that most parenting books recommend, they find their situations becoming worse, not better as promised these resources. It doesn t have to be this way! Heather T. Forbes, LCSW, offers families a new view to parenting children with difficult and severe behaviors. As a parent herself who experienced dark days (and years) following the adoption of her two children, she offers a ground-breaking approach to parenting that shows parents a proven way to develop strong and loving relationships with their children. In her new book, Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love Based Approach to Helping Children with Severe Behaviors, Volume 2, Heather offers practical and effective solutions based in scientific research, coupled with professional and personal experience. She is a master at bridging the gap between academic research and real life when the rubber hits the road parenting. This book is written in an easy to understand and easy to grasp format for anyone working with or parenting children with difficult or severe behaviors. The first six chapters discuss the principles of her love-based parenting paradigm. A new understanding of why traditional parenting techniques are ineffective with children with difficult behaviors is given, along with clear and concise explanations of the science behind trauma and negative early life experiences. The next seven chapters address specific behaviors, including poor social skills, homework battles, demanding behaviors, self-injury, defensive attitudes, no conscience, and chores. Each chapter gives specific examples of how to implement her parenting principles, empowering parents to make amazing and permanent changes in their homes. All the examples given throughout these chapters are true stories provided by parents who read and implemented her first book, Volume 1. The book ends with a parenting bonus section where more real-life stories from real-life parents with real-life children are given. These examples range in the spectrum of the ages of the children and a variety of behavioral issues. This book offers hope and healing. It goes beyond just changing a child s behaviors but goes to the level of healing for all family members. This book has the power to literally change families for life and to help families find the peace in their homes that they dreamed of from the beginning--and the peace they deserve!

Editorial Reviews

Review

Heather Forbes has an uncanny knack for shining a healing light on the stories of our unmet needs of attachment. With her therapeutic insight and a hard-won wisdom, she offers families everywhere a light inside the tunnel, and provides us with the only tried and true parenting formula that truly can heal all wounds: a scientifically-based model based on...love. Beyond Consequences is a window into a new world for us and our children--no matter where we are on our journey. This is transcendent work that invites us all to look and live beyond our ruts, stalemates, and power struggles----for ourselves, for our children, for life. --Lu Hanessian, author of acclaimed memoir Let the Baby Drive, former NBC anchor, certified parent educator, syndicated parenting columnist.

If you're a parent searching for effective answers for tough situations, Heather offers the advice you need. Another intuitive yet highly sensible voice among the very few in the parenting field, Heather speaks to the power of love, understanding, and empathy in creating a strong, solid lifeline between us and our children. She demystifies and defines the effects of stress on children that can only help us find compassion in even the worst of situations. She flips our traditional views of what is normal and abnormal to put them in proper perspective so we can behave the way our children need us to behave. --Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With and When Your Kids Push Your Buttons --

Intelligent, empathic, affirming- Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, Volume 2 offers much needed hope for parents and families who struggle to provide their children a relationship of love and healing. A rare book that breaks through the cultural myths and perceptions of how children with behavior difficulties should be treated. More than that, it gives parents specific strategies for changing their own perceptions with new love-based approaches for specific situations. This book is a great tool for parents of challenging children. --Lysa Parker, Co-founder of Attachment Parenting International and co-author, Attached at the Heart:8 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children. --Lysa Parker, Co-founder of Attachment Parenting International and co-author, Attached at the Heart:8 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children

If you're a parent searching for effective answers for tough situations, Heather offers the advice you need. Another intuitive yet highly sensible voice among the very few in the parenting field, Heather speaks to the power of love, understanding, and empathy in creating a strong, solid lifeline between us and our children. She demystifies and defines the effects of stress on children that can only help us find compassion in even the worst of situations. She flips our traditional views of what is normal and abnormal to put them in proper perspective so we can behave the way our children need us to behave. --Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With and When Your Kids Push Your Buttons --Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With and When Your Kids Push Your Buttons

Intelligent, empathic, affirming- Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, Volume 2 offers much needed hope for parents and families who struggle to provide their children a relationship of love and healing. A rare book that breaks through the cultural myths and perceptions of how children with behavior difficulties should be treated. More than that, it gives parents specific strategies for changing their own pe --Lysa Parker, Co-founder of Attachment Parenting International and co-author, Attached at the Heart:8 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children

If you're a parent searching for effective answers for tough situations, Heather offers the advice you need. Another intuitive yet highly sensible voice among the very few in the parenting field, Heather speaks to the power of love, understanding, and empathy in creating a strong, solid lifeline between us and our children. She demystifies and defines the effects of stress on children that can only help us find compassion in even the worst of situations. She flips our traditional views of what is normal and abnormal to put them in proper perspective so we can behave the way our children need us to behave. --Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With and When Your Kids Push Your Buttons --Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With and When Your Kids Push Your Buttons

Intelligent, empathic, affirming- Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, Volume 2 offers much needed hope for parents and families who struggle to provide their children a relationship of love and healing. A rare book that breaks through the cultural myths and perceptions of how children with behavior difficulties should be treated. More than that, it gives parents specific strategies for changing their own perceptions with new love-based approaches for specific situations. This book is a great tool for parents of challenging children. --Lysa Parker, Co-founder of Attachment Parenting International and co-author, Attached at the Heart:8 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children. --Lysa Parker, Co-founder of Attachment Parenting International and co-author, Attached at the Heart:8 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children

About the Author

Heather T. Forbes, LCSW, is co-founder and owner of the Beyond Consequences Institute. Forbes has worked with nationally recognized attachment professionals in the field of trauma and attachment since 1999. She is an internationally published author on the topics of adoptive motherhood, raising children with difficult and severe behaviors, and self-development. Forbes lectures, consults, and coaches parents throughout the U.S., Canada, and the U.K., working to create peaceful, loving families. She is passionate about supporting families by bridging the gap between academic research and 'when the rubber hits the road' parenting. Much of her experience and insight on understanding trauma, disruptive behaviors, and adoption-related issues comes from her direct mothering experience of her two adopted children.

Product Details

• Paperback: 196 pages
• Publisher: Beyond Consequences Institute; First Edition edition (November 7, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0977704033
• ISBN-13: 978-0977704033
• Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #43,886 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #26 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Adoption

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Great Volume 2, a MUST READ, December 1, 2008

By 

Kelley Warner "Avid reader" (Reno, NV) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Beyond Consequences, Logic, & Control, Volume 2 (Paperback)

This book should get 10 stars!
I feel adoptive parents everywhere should read this book and Vol 1 with the same title, as a prerequisite to adoption. I felt let down by our agency ( although it's not their personal fault) almost 2 years after our first adoption when I found this information. ALL adoptive families should know and understand the Stress Model, and the effects of trauma on the developing mind.(Before bringing their child (ren) home if possible!!) There is just a world of information, science, and stories from families who have used it and seen healing. I highly recomend the book, the model, the author. I cannot say thank you Heather enough for the work you do for families. I am now a certified instructor with BCI but most of all 'just a parent' to 8 wonderful children, 4 who were adopted, and 1 'step'. I do not normally catagorize my children, but I just wanted to let you know, I am here in the trenches. I own and have read at least 40 books on these topics. THIS ONE is the one that opened my mind and world to change...
Buy it Read it Live it

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book has changed my relationship with my daughter, and helped me lear about myself, March 2, 2009

By 

L. Zader "LGZ" (Virginia Beach) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Beyond Consequences, Logic, & Control, Volume 2 (Paperback)

I loved the first book, and didn't realize how much new content this new volume would contain. I have loved applying these concepts to my parenting the last year or two, and the new revelations from this volume have been huge for me!

I have been able to apply these principles and research to my daily life and see changes in my daughter and in our relationship! I especially have grown by understanding the power of our subconscious thoughts and the "truths" we created in the past and how we unknowingly bring those feelings and responses into current situations, until we can recognize them and separate them from today's responses.

Not only has this helped me understand and respond to my daughter, but I have been able to challenge many of my past responses and thoughts- making me a better mom and even a better wife. My husband and I continue to revisit the pages of this book as we are growing and learning how to parent from a place of love versus fear!

I have recommended this book to many parents! Stick with these concepts- it is a whole new way of thinking that requires re-training your automated responses--- SO WORTH EVERY BIT OF EFFORT WHEN YOU SEE YOUR CHILDREN AND FAMILY BEGIN TO OVERCOME AND THRIVE- TOGETHER!

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars miracles!, December 1, 2009

By 

LauraTracy1961 (TX United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Beyond Consequences, Logic, & Control, Volume 2 (Paperback)

I wish there was a way for every adoptive family to learn this parenting style, but this book and vol. 1 are for any family dealing with severe behaviors. They address many behaviors, and teach you how to increase your stress "window" (your ability to handle stress) as well as your struggling child's. I wish I had known these principles when my mother was angry and frightened before she died two years ago. We have two daughters adopted from China, and were seeing a downward spiral in behavior in one of them. We were using a traditional method of parenting consisting of punishment and consequences which had worked fine with our five bio children, but things only got worse. Our precious girl was so stressed that she could barely face a day. After several months of using the Beyond Consequences approach we now have joy and peace (for the most part). Our daughter now feels safer, and talks to us about her struggles! Childhood trauma never goes away, but it can be healed to a great extent. I really cannot believe the change in our home. I pray for wisdom nearly every day, and these books were just a miracle for me. My husband and I are also taking the Beyond Consequences Institute online parenting class now, and it really helps us to stay on track with using this approach. Highly, Highly recommended!!