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Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Vol. 2 Paperback


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Frequently Bought Together

Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Vol. 2 + Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control: A Love-Based Approach to Helping Attachment-Challenged Children With Severe Behaviors + The Connected Child: Bring hope and healing to your adoptive family
Price for all three: $41.95

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 196 pages
  • Publisher: Beyond Consequences Institute; First Edition edition (November 7, 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0977704033
  • ISBN-13: 978-0977704033
  • Product Dimensions: 8.9 x 6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #38,656 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

Heather Forbes has an uncanny knack for shining a healing light on the stories of our unmet needs of attachment. With her therapeutic insight and a hard-won wisdom, she offers families everywhere a light inside the tunnel, and provides us with the only tried and true parenting formula that truly can heal all wounds: a scientifically-based model based on...love. Beyond Consequences is a window into a new world for us and our children--no matter where we are on our journey. This is transcendent work that invites us all to look and live beyond our ruts, stalemates, and power struggles----for ourselves, for our children, for life.
--Lu Hanessian, author of acclaimed memoir Let the Baby Drive, former NBC anchor, certified parent educator, syndicated parenting columnist

If you're a parent searching for effective answers for tough situations, Heather offers the advice you need. Another intuitive yet highly sensible voice among the very few in the parenting field, Heather speaks to the power of love, understanding, and empathy in creating a strong, solid lifeline between us and our children. She demystifies and defines the effects of stress on children that can only help us find compassion in even the worst of situations. She flips our traditional views of what is normal and abnormal to put them in proper perspective so we can behave the way our children need us to behave.
--Bonnie Harris, M.S.Ed. author of Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids: 8 Principles for Raising Kids You'll Love to Live With and When Your Kids Push Your Buttons

Intelligent, empathic, affirming- Beyond Consequences Logic and Control, Volume 2 offers much needed hope for parents and families who struggle to provide their children a relationship of love and healing. A rare book that breaks through the cultural myths and perceptions of how children with behavior difficulties should be treated. More than that, it gives parents specific strategies for changing their own perceptions with new love-based approaches for specific situations. This book is a great tool for parents of challenging children.
--Lysa Parker, Co-founder of Attachment Parenting International and co-author, Attached at the Heart:8 Proven Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children

About the Author

Heather T. Forbes, LCSW, is co-founder and owner of the Beyond Consequences Institute. Forbes has worked with nationally recognized attachment professionals in the field of trauma and attachment since 1999. She is an internationally published author on the topics of adoptive motherhood, raising children with difficult and severe behaviors, and self-development. Forbes lectures, consults, and coaches parents throughout the U.S., Canada, and the U.K., working to create peaceful, loving families. She is passionate about supporting families by bridging the gap between academic research and 'when the rubber hits the road' parenting. Much of her experience and insight on understanding trauma, disruptive behaviors, and adoption-related issues comes from her direct mothering experience of her two adopted children.

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Customer Reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
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Easy read with lots of help information.
Baldwin's
I pray for wisdom nearly every day, and these books were just a miracle for me.
LauraTracy1961
It's not the behaviour but the cause you have deal with!
Amazon Customer

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 28 people found the following review helpful By Kelley Stevens on December 1, 2008
Format: Paperback
This book should get 10 stars!
I feel adoptive parents everywhere should read this book and Vol 1 with the same title, as a prerequisite to adoption. I felt let down by our agency ( although it's not their personal fault) almost 2 years after our first adoption when I found this information. ALL adoptive families should know and understand the Stress Model, and the effects of trauma on the developing mind.(Before bringing their child (ren) home if possible!!) There is just a world of information, science, and stories from families who have used it and seen healing. I highly recomend the book, the model, the author. I cannot say thank you Heather enough for the work you do for families. I am now a certified instructor with BCI but most of all 'just a parent' to 8 wonderful children, 4 who were adopted, and 1 'step'. I do not normally catagorize my children, but I just wanted to let you know, I am here in the trenches. I own and have read at least 40 books on these topics. THIS ONE is the one that opened my mind and world to change...
Buy it Read it Live it
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16 of 18 people found the following review helpful By L. Zader on March 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
I loved the first book, and didn't realize how much new content this new volume would contain. I have loved applying these concepts to my parenting the last year or two, and the new revelations from this volume have been huge for me!

I have been able to apply these principles and research to my daily life and see changes in my daughter and in our relationship! I especially have grown by understanding the power of our subconscious thoughts and the "truths" we created in the past and how we unknowingly bring those feelings and responses into current situations, until we can recognize them and separate them from today's responses.

Not only has this helped me understand and respond to my daughter, but I have been able to challenge many of my past responses and thoughts- making me a better mom and even a better wife. My husband and I continue to revisit the pages of this book as we are growing and learning how to parent from a place of love versus fear!

I have recommended this book to many parents! Stick with these concepts- it is a whole new way of thinking that requires re-training your automated responses--- SO WORTH EVERY BIT OF EFFORT WHEN YOU SEE YOUR CHILDREN AND FAMILY BEGIN TO OVERCOME AND THRIVE- TOGETHER!
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11 of 13 people found the following review helpful By LauraTracy1961 on December 1, 2009
Format: Paperback
I wish there was a way for every adoptive family to learn this parenting style, but this book and vol. 1 are for any family dealing with severe behaviors. They address many behaviors, and teach you how to increase your stress "window" (your ability to handle stress) as well as your struggling child's. I wish I had known these principles when my mother was angry and frightened before she died two years ago. We have two daughters adopted from China, and were seeing a downward spiral in behavior in one of them. We were using a traditional method of parenting consisting of punishment and consequences which had worked fine with our five bio children, but things only got worse. Our precious girl was so stressed that she could barely face a day. After several months of using the Beyond Consequences approach we now have joy and peace (for the most part). Our daughter now feels safer, and talks to us about her struggles! Childhood trauma never goes away, but it can be healed to a great extent. I really cannot believe the change in our home. I pray for wisdom nearly every day, and these books were just a miracle for me. My husband and I are also taking the Beyond Consequences Institute online parenting class now, and it really helps us to stay on track with using this approach. Highly, Highly recommended!!
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By A. Trent on March 26, 2009
Format: Paperback
These techniques work!! You will not believe how fast you can start to see small changes. We didn't even realize how MUCH better everything was until our therapist asked us a few questions. This, like Volume 1 is a MUST read for every adoptive and foster parent. However, I'm also getting ready to try a few of the techniques with our biological daughter, and I'm already convinced it will work. Try the techniques in Vol 1 & 2 for a few weeks & you will be absolutely AMAZED!!
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 11, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition
I wish I would have read this four years ago. This is scientifically backed and more importantly Bible based. My home is well on its way back to being the nuturing peaceful place it once was.
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful By G on December 30, 2008
Format: Paperback
It's easy to question the BCI approach but over time with consistent use the results show for themselves. What wont work is trying this approach for a week and giving up. It will take time.

People who say everything else has failed will understand WHY everything else has failed after they've read this book.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful By jan on November 9, 2009
Format: Paperback
I can't even imagine the place that my family would be if not for Heather and Beyond Consequences. 5 years ago we adopted a 5 and 7 yr.old from Ukraine who spoke no English whatsoever. The first few months were magical--- and then the reality set in, and no one had prepared us for the severe tantrums, physical violence, defiance and other extreme behaviors from our sweet children. Other books, programs, even counselors were tried and failed. They were out of control, and we were were about out of our minds. We learned about Heather's first book, along with Brian Post almost by accident. We reluctantly attended a seminar, and the last 3 years have been difficult, but we had to completely change the way we parented, and the way we thought about parenting. That in itself was by far the most difficult and challenging process. But as we were learning and understanding, our kids were healing and their extreme behaviors were decreasing. It was almost miraculous how well they would respond to our "new" skills. We all still have our moments, and our children are not perfect-- and we are by far imperfect parents-- but if these paradigms did not work for you at first, hang in there. You'll probably refer back to them later. I think EVERY parent can benefit by these books and learning better and more effective ways to parent. And it's never too late to start, but I will warn you-- the more ingrained your current ideology is about parenting and handling your children as well as yourself, the more difficult it will be to work through and apply the Stress Model. But it's not corny-- real love does conquer all. It just doesn't win without a fight.
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