Customer Reviews

Beyond Measure: A Memoir About Short Stature and Inner Growth

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

On the first page of her memoir, Ellen Frankel takes us to the moment at an arts festival when her eyes meet another "member of the club": someone whose eyes are on a level with hers, someone who "knows" what it's like to be always looking up at others. Frankel, at four feet eight inches, is one of the shortest in any crowd. This book is the story of her journey to overcome the heartache caused by our culture literally and emotionally "looking down on" short people.

Frankel has appeared on CNN, Fox News and in the Associated Press, speaking about her mission to expose size discrimination: the unequal treatment of people because of their height or weight. She is particularly passionate about government approval of hormone shots for healthy children, just because they fall below the curve of what is "normal" height for their age.

The book cites numerous articles and studies on the ways people try to "fit in" by altering their body image. Besides the emotional damage done to short children through unthinking jokes and pats on the head, there is the health risk of synthetic hormone injections which increase height by only an inch or two at most.

Interspersed with the scientific data is the personal. As a girl, Frankel thinks about being a rabbi, but her rabbi laughs at her, saying she is too short and would never reach the pulpit. She is drawn to study Buddhism and integrates that philosophy with her Jewish identity in a graceful manner.

Her sense of humor and self-acceptance are evident in the title of chapter eight: Life is Short and So Am I. She tries to be a bubbly, cute (and short) female but does not feel her own power until she sheds that persona.

"I knew my Achilles heel and how it craved a stiletto," says Frankel. She fells into relationships with tall, important men to feel seen, "special" and powerful. But she knows deep inside that only by speaking her truth and engaging in activities that nourish her will she grow strong.

The journey that is central to the book begins when Frankel and her husband watch the Everest IMAX movie. At first, her husband is reluctant to leave his job for two weeks and go to Nepal, but she convinces him there is never a better time than now. They visit Kathmandu and the Himalayas, Buddhist shrines and death-defying roads alongside cliffs.

Frankel's vivid descriptions of the people and the villages of Nepal are my favorite part of the book. A year later, she returns, this time to climb Everest with a group of fifteen people.

She takes us along as she listens to the soundtrack CD from the Everest film while climbing to a Buddhist monastery at 13,000 feet up the highest peak in the world.

On this return trip, she travels with a married woman who is having an affair and also has an eating disorder. Overly focused on her thinness, the woman uses laxatives frequently to combat "bloating." During the trek, she confides that she is sleeping with their married Sherpa guide.

Frankel spent ten years as a counselor in practice for eating disorders, treating "Women who fought with their bodies because the culture told them their bodies were their enemies--unless their bodies were tall and thin, then they were their best friends."

"You don't have to have an affair with someone who climbed Mount Everest", she tells her traveling companion. "...you can climb yourself. You don't have to live vicariously, offering your body to a man living out your own dreams."

Frankel knows these words are meant for her, too. "I grew into myself" on the trek, she tells us. She realizes she can be strong and confident while short, that these qualities are not determined by one's physical size, because, "We are all both dwarfed by Everest and beyond measure."

This book reminded me of why it's so much more fulfilling to follow our hearts and go after our dreams. I've known too many women who "could have" been and done things but let their fears and other people's expectations discourage them.

Frankel's children have learned by her example to be who they are without reservation. Her book can teach us all to do the same.


Linda C. Wisniewski, Author of Off Kilter: A Woman's Journey to Peace with Scoliosis, Her Mother, and Her Polish Heritage
[...].

Ellen Frankel's Beyond Measure is an engaging and informative book about confronting narrow societal definitions regarding acceptable body size and body image. At the book's onset, Frankel writes about being a short woman in a culture that values tall as the preferred norm. She cites research and delineates how societal prejudices work to dismantle self-esteem in short children and to undermine the confidence and self-worth of short adults. She connects the dots between height-ism and fat-phobia in a culture that denigrates difference. Ultimately Frankel's message is that the truest measure of one's worth lies not in one's outer stature but in one's inner strength. She implores each of us to take up space in the world in spite of society's narrow definitions of what is `right' and `true' and `normal.' And to celebrate human diversity--in all its shapes, sizes, and permutations--without apology.

In this powerful memoir, Ellen Frankel takes us through a lifetime of experiences shaped by her short stature and her grand spirit. I learned a great deal about the way that short children are at risk of being "treated" medically even when there is nothing at all wrong with their health. I also learned how one brave woman fought for her right to the expansive life she could envision for herself. The message in this story should ease the anxieties of adults who can't picture their "too different" children having a good life. If we can all learn to cherish ourselves and our differences the way Ms. Frankel has, we can look foward to a very different and very beautiful world.

Our world can be cruel and confusing to those look a little different, and it was somewhat difficult for the author growing up. But Ellen Frankel has learned how to adapt and live confidently in her body despite the taunting words of those who are taller. In this touching and informative memoir, Ellen Frankel skillfully illustrates the pressures on so many people who will go to any length simply to "fit in." She reveals her opposition to the unnatural and dangerous attempts to expand height through the use of growth hormones, offering hard scientific data about their negative impact. Ellen explains how "innocent" remarks about height can be hurtful and even takes readers with her on an exciting spiritual trek to Mount Everest. "Beyond Measure" is an excellent book, sure to make us think about the stuff that really matters...that which resides within us.

Jordan Rich
WBZ Radio Boston

Thanks for sending me an advanced copy of your book, "Beyond Measure." I just finished reading it today. Words cannot adequately express how happy I am to see the issue of heightism addressed in this way. In your book you clearly explain the realities of this social prejudice. You provide painful examples from your own life, which even the harshest of our critics cannot deny or trivialize. Most importantly, you provide words of inspiration. Words to wake the souls of all who have the good fortune to read it. I am so impressed by your strength and your courage. I will recommend this book to anyone. Thank you for writing "Beyond Measure." You have done not only short statured people, but humanity as a whole, a great service.

Matthew Campisi
Chair/President
NOSSA - National Organization Of Short Statured Adults
[...]

I loved this memoir! This book is for all sizes. It is for anyone; short, tall, thin or thick. A great spiritual adventure!

Ellen Frankel answers this question by opening herself up for all to see - her strengths, her misgivings, her intense passion to live outside the tidy box people have tried to pressure her into and her emergence as a strong, centered woman who has powerfully conquered both the internal and external conflicts each of us battle daily. Ellen teaches us to be true to and believe in ourselves and our dreams regardless of how others may view them. Everyone can take a page from Ellen's book and learn to trust themselves and their visions and make their dreams a reality. You will find yourself asking - who am I? What so-called societal norms am I allowing myself to be held back by? What can I do to realize my passions and live without regret? Ellen, thank you for helping me look inside myself for these answers and hopefully allowing me to live Beyond Measure.

What rings true? This authentic and vulnerable personal exploration of short stature by Ellen Frankel is a book for for all of us. Hooked by the opening pages, I journeyed with the author as she learned to make sense of how her height impacted her sense of identity while growing up in a society that presented its biases and perceptions all too readily. Yes it opened my eyes to issues of heightism, but this book offered a broader brushstroke: to consider how our own specific issues might be influencing our life choices. Ellen Frankel is offering us the chance to see with greater clarity.

I do not understand this book. I really tried to like it, as I love bios. But the author goes from saying she likes wearing short shoes/sneakers, as she matures, and then appeared on dr. phil in tall boots. She cheats on her husband because she is short and thus missing something? I don't understand. The portion about the NIH is silly, as she apparently does not get that it is up to parents to decide what treatment their kids' should get, not the government. She also bored me to death about her "trek" to Nepal, and she does not even reach the first level of everest. Her point seems to be that she has become tall because she trekked. Who the heck cares? Not me. She seems like quite the whiner, and needs to get a life.

I feel sorry for her family, as they are still together yet she reveals stuff I would never reveal, for fear that at a later time my kids or husband or his family would resent me.

finally, who cares about a short woman? I am under 5 feet, and I like being short, as if I were say 6 feet tall, I would feel like an amazon. Most of her little stories remind me of someone accusing her of being short, as a polite way of saying she is annoying.