Customer Reviews

Beyond Tears: Living After Losing a Child, Revised Edition

5 star:		(34)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Since my son was killed in an auto accident I read every book I could looking for help. I I got more help from this book than any other...It was a like a lifeline. After reading it I bought an additional copy which I actually cut up and left parts around my home for reassurance and comfort. When someone asks me what can they do for a friend who has lost a child, I recommend this book. Since it is written by nine mothers (and nine fathers) who each have a different perspective and different way their child died, this is a book for every bereaved parent, but it is also a book that should be read by everyone. The loss of a child is a loss like no other and this book is a guide for family, friends and professionals offering insight and understanding and an inside unobstructed view into the real world of the bereaved parent.

This book connects across the gulf of emptiness and loss that bereaved parents are intimately familiar with. It seems to speak the language, and address the pains that those who have not grieved a lost child can only fathom.
It is also offers hope for those who are new to this grief and describes the different way of living that now becomes life.
I recommend this book for anyone who has lost a child, or knows somwone who has. As a therapist who works with grieving parents, I can attest to the help Beyond Tears continues to bring with each additional reading.

Candid and compelling
I am also a bereaved mother. These nine women have bared their most innermost feelings in this honest and powerful book. It is the best book I have read, (and reread), on this subject. I highly recommend it to not only to all bereaved parents, but family, friends and professionals who care enough to acquire some insight into what life is really like after losing a child. They have bravely shared their hearts and bared their souls in order to give others hope.

But not what I was looking for.
I lost my 18 yr old son Dec. 6, 2005 in a tragic accident.
I was hoping for something with greater inspiration, - something that would help me to find meaning in this heartbrake. I did find some books that were very helpful (e.g., "The Five Cries of Grief", "I Will Not Leave You Desolate", "Echoes of the Soul" - to name just a few). I found this book disapointing because, because of it's negativity. I realize that my grief will go on for this lifetime, but wanted to read about people who have found some peace and healing and who have honored the lives of their deceased children by living a life that would be a tribute to them. Personally, I did not get this message from this book.

This book is a must have for any parent who has lost a child, anyone who knows someone who has lost a child and anyone in the mental health field who may come in contact with bereaved parents. Each of the nine authors gives an open and painfully honest account of her loss and journey through the grieving process. There are also sections in each chapter that explain what a bereaved parent may experience as well as what supports these authors found helpful and therapeutic. I especially liked the parts in each chapter where the women are sharing their feelings with one another because it helps to illustrate the importance of critical supports and how these women helped each other to get through the most painful loss any mother could experience. The poems these mothers wrote for their lost children moved me to tears. There is also a chapter in the book where the fathers openly share their feelings and grief with each other as well. I found this book to be extremely well written and, in spite of the difficult subject matter, I had a hard time putting it down.

I lost my teenage daughter and have read numerous books looking for answers; this one was right on the mark. The book traces the experiences of nine women and their husbands following the loss of their children and provides a road map for other bereaved parents struggling to find their way back to a sense of near-normality. It was refreshing to find that I was not alone in my seemingly odd thoughts and that others have endured and accepted the unacceptable.

Beyond Tears by Ellen Mitchell and the 9 bereaved parents was "beyond fabulous." I am a bereaved parent and it was the first book I've read on the topic that really helped, guided and provided hope in an honest way for those in the same situation. The brief stories of their children which were interspersed throughout the book added tremendously to the impact of the book.

Norma Lazar

I would urge you to read this book. I would urge you to send this book to those you care about, those who might be hurting in a similar fashion, or even those who have been touched by others they care about who have gone through the horror of losing a child. Unfolding within these scant 174 pages, 9 mothers, with simple eloquence and brave generosity share with us their individual journeys into the unfathomable; a journey all parents often give thought to and quickly push from their minds - "A parent's worst nightmare". These are bold warriors who have put into words their common experiences before and after, and their methods of coping with and defying their pain, honoring their children and attempting to help others in doing the same. It may be hard to believe but I maintain that while the subject matter may be sad, this is not a sad book, but a book filled with love, hope and rememberance. A book of instructions on how to help yourself and those family and friends who share your life. One would be remiss if they did not give credit to collaborator Ellen Mitchell who presents the stories in such a page turning readable fashion that the book is very hard to put down, and last, but not least, to the fathers who get to "speak" to us, albeit breifly in chapter 9, but with just as much of a powerful punch.

Beyond Tears is a wonderful book. My older brother was killed in a motorcycle accident in Sept 2005, and while he was much older (42 yrs old) than any of the children of the nine mothers in the book, I think this book will help my parents tremendously. I cried during most of the book, but it really helped me see that people grieve differently, that all feelings are normal. I'm definitely passing this on to my parents (with information on Compassionate Friends meetings) and I hope they can find the courage to read through it. I want them to know that they are not alone in any of the feelings they are having. I also think it will show my mom (who is hesitant to join a support group) that it eases the pain a bit to speak with those who understand your pain and can share in it.

I liked the fact that the book covered the feelings of the mothers just after the deaths of their children and then also years later.

I definitely recommend this book to not only bereaved parents, but other family members or even friends. You might learn what not to say to bereaved parents, and some ways that you can help them manage through the pain.

My heartfelt thanks and admiration go to the nine mothers who wrote this book. It has been an unbelievable eighteen years since my daughter Laurie died in an accident at the age of 21, but the remembrance of the dark days, the journey through changing and growing, is never far away. I hope that this courageous writing -- so full of honesty and candidness -- will help the newly bereaved by offering proof that life does indeed go on -- although we are changed forever -- and that in time we learn that the best way we can honor our children is by living life fully for them too. And I hope also that it will be well-read by the non-bereaved -- to promote understanding and, most important, to teach them that our children are never forgotten --that they will forever be living in our hearts and be part of who we are now.