The covers of such magazines as Time and Newsweek have described parents as living in “mayhem” and “madness” with their children. TV’s Supernanny regularly captures kids wildly, unbelievably out of control. How did our families get to such a state? Child psychologist Dr. Beth Grosshans has the answer. And mothers and fathers everywhere are listening. In what is sure to become a much-discussed blockbuster, Dr. Grosshans reveals why she believes nearly a half-century of parenting advice—with its emphasis on talking, exalting children’s self-esteem, and time-outs—is largely to blame for today’s lack of discipline. Her innovative ideas and techniques challenge this prevailing culture, proving that power and authority are as essential as love and good intentions to effective parenting. She persuasively explains why kids can only grow up healthy and strong when firmly led by their parents’ experience and better judgment, and provides a clear, easy five step program to follow. She enables parents to look at themselves clearly and identify their child-rearing style; they are often shocked to discover how their own behavior has inadvertently caused an imbalance in the family’s structure. Reading Beyond Time-Out is akin to sitting with Dr. Grosshans in her clinical office—and her core truths about healthy parent-child relationships are timeless.
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About the Author
Beth A. Grosshans, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice with over 15 years of clinical experience working with children and their families. Janet Burton, L.C.S.W. is a clinical social worker with over 35 years of experience working with families in a variety of settings.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
40 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
I "Get" this Book! It has changed our lives,
By Catinhat (West Coast) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm (Hardcover)
I too, have read all of these reviews - loving and hating this book. I can see why some of the reviews are so negative, as I don't think this book is for everyone. But one review in particular caught my attention - the one stating that this book is only for neurotypical kids. I wholeheartedly disagree and will tell how this book changed our family - for the better.
I turned to this book because I have an atypical child, and I was at my wits end with the power struggles that were happening in our house. My older son (now 8) is the poster child for ADHD. He is emotionally intense, physically exhausting and incredibly smart. He has been diagnosed with Aspberger's, but is extremely high functioning and attends mainstream school. My 4 year old is your basic typical child, with typical and age appropriate behavior. My 8 year old was still tantruming, screaming to get his way, crying, throwing things, etc., at the time I found this book. After reading just the 1st chapter, I began to realize that I was attributing my son's behavior to his issues - rather than my parenting style, or should I say, lack of consistency thereto! I realized that not only was I the "permissive" parent, but I was also the "authoritarian" parent. At times, being way too permissive - almost intimidated by his tantrums - and at other times, laying down the law - like a drill sargent - barking orders out of frustration! This book literally opened my eyes to just how much power my husband and I were giving away to our 8 year old - and how that was truly affecting the way we interacted with each other. We decided to give the strategies in this book a try and began our trial period, during the last few weeks of summer, before school started. I predicted that I would be met with some resistance - so I made sure not to schedule too many out of the house activities. The first week was tough - there were days where my older son would end up going to his room 5-6 times a day. There were days where he reacted very violently to me being so consistent - and at first, I had reservations about doing the "parent hold" - but having to only do it twice, and realizing the remarkable changes that were taking place right before my eyes - I continued with the process. It took about 2 full weeks for us to all get things under control - but I will tell you - after about the first 3-4 days of our "new plan" - I noticed changes in my 8 year old that I NEVER thought were possible! Today - I rarely have to ask him twice to do things - and we have had maybe one or two tantrums in the last 3 months, as opposed to one or two a day!! His level of respect for me and my husband has changed dramatically, as has our level of respect for him and each other. We are now calm and direct in our approach to discipline. We don't squelch his spirit or his individualness and we certainly allow him plenty of room for him to just be him - for both of our boys, to have their spirit and express themselves - but we now require that they treat us respectfully, and likewise we do the same for them. This book offers very tangible processes for parents who are engaged in having power struggles with their kids. There's nothing "new" or "gimmicky" about the techniques offered, they're just plain and simple. I think the title is a bit deceiving and not quite right for this book - the author's form of discipline actually does involve some "time out" - but not in the traditional sense as most of us know it. At first I thought, how is putting either of my sons in their room, where all of their toys are going to be, any kind of discipline tool - but since following through each time - they've come to know it more as a regrouping to come back and cooperate as opposed to a "punishment." All I can say is - it works. Being the mother of an extremely challenging child has it's own set of unique issues - this book has really helped me stay calm, focused and purposeful in my requests. It has helped my child tremendously because he now knows exactly what to expect and we no longer have the power struggles we've had in the many years past. I wish this book had more specifics for homework issues/help - maybe the author will come out with a follow-up! If your library has this book - check it out before paying full price. It may not be your style - but for some of us, this book can truly be life changing.
19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent child-rearing advice for all parents,
This review is from: Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm (Hardcover)
As a pediatrician, I found "Beyond Time-Out" to be an extremely well-written and insightful guide to child-rearing. Its particular emphasis on providing appropriate discipline while still communicating unconditional love - a crucial but very difficult balance for many families to achieve - will be of great benefit to parents and their children alike.
13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
An Absolute Must Read,
By
This review is from: Beyond Time-Out: From Chaos to Calm (Hardcover)
This absorbing book gives you a perfect script for dealing with every imaginable situation when dealing with children. Absolutely invaluable for anyone with a child in their life - parents, grandparents, extended family - makes it all so easy. And the best part -- it works! Should be required reading!
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