Product Details
Would you like to update product info or give feedback on images?
|
|
Share your thoughts with other customers:
|
||||||||||||||||||||||
|
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
The Bible is rather...Shocking.,
By
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: What the Bible Really Says about Love, Marriage, and Family (Paperback)
His first book, What Paul Really Said About Women, changed my life, so when I heard he had written another, I was eager to check it out. Although not as redemptive and indwelling as his first, it's still a 5-star read.
As the title suggests, here Bristow takes a broader look at gender dynamics, from the Old and New Testament. This includes investigating sex, treatment and male thoughts on women, different models of marriage and Biblical treatment of divorce, and Jesus' thoughts on family. Throughout the text Bristow seeks to reveal what the author was originally saying, and what the audience was originally hearing, to pursue eisogesis and avoid exegesis. He looks for what is surprising and what may be even shocking for Christians and himself to read, arguing that the Bible is usually a counter-cultural work, and the original books were written because they needed to be written- i.e. the people they were written for did not inherently believe what the text said; there was a need for the text. So Bristow discusses the Biblical model of marriage. Which of course is not one model, but at least seven, overlapping models. And if we want a Biblical marriage, it could easily mean a first date involving a servant going off to offer camels for the woman or unveiling the man's genitalia on a threshing floor. After that, it might mean marrying one's half-sister, as Abraham did, marrying because the guy is wealthy and the woman has a big dowry, having a few wives, plus some concubines, and the man having absolute authority over the woman. All of these are models of marriage in the Old Testament, that are not actually denigrated in the text, but rather accepted as part of the culture. But they're not praised or encouraged by the texts either. There are only two models that God himself put in place- one that follows the curse, and the other that existed before the fall. And amazingly, while most American churches would not actually advocate following patriarchal law where the husband had absolute authority over his wife and could even abrogate her vows, most churches argue for a model of marriage based on the curse. It is as if Christ did not come, and no grace is present, and the curse continues to reign- at least within marriage. Therefore Bristow describes the hope we can have for peace in a marriage, by following the guidelines of Genesis 2 before the fall, and those of Jesus in his treatment of women. Bristow usually looks at culture, but also at the original Greek and Hebrew, to get at what the text originally said, before the misogynism of early church fathers cast the texts in a different light. So the word for "one flesh" denotes the entire being- and therefore, a healthy marriage should be pursuing the idea of becoming one being- although not one spirit. Therefore the feelings of the other become as one's own feelings, but without the couple having the same personality. And since they are one flesh, it makes no sense to decide who is in charge, for how can you divide up the flesh like that? Lust is a matter of looking at a woman or a man with the intentional purpose of possessing her or him- not simply admiring- at least, in the Greek Jesus uses. If we are God's temple, then not only should we avoid denigrating that temple with aberrant sexual practices, but it also follows that correct sexual practices can be themselves a form of worship to God. Typical of Jesus' teaching, this makes having a healthy marriage much less a matter of legality and much more difficult- for sexual sin then becomes anything which is a "violation of the intended purpose and nature of one's sexuality: to affirm a marriage covenant and to glorify God." In the realm of non-marital gender relationships, Bristow shows how Jesus actions towards women were completely wrong in the culture, as not only did he talk to women, he even taught them; not only did he touch women outside his family, he touched prostitutes, and even encouraged it! After each section Bristow uses questions to encourage the reader to think more, and to create cognitive dissonance when compared with standard Christian approaches to these books. And that is the key to Bristow's style. He is not writing to offend or to try to simply give shocking ideas- but he recognizes that the Gospel is inherently shocking, as much to today's society as it was to the 1st century Palestinian. And he is unwilling to pull punches in looking at what the Bible truly says. If you want to read something comfortable which will affirm beliefs already present, try something like I Kissed Dating Goodbye. Read this book only if you're willing to have your preconceptions challenged, and your world turned upside-down.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Is the Ideal Type of Marriage Also Practical?,
By
This review is from: What the Bible Really Says about Love, Marriage, and Family (Paperback)
As Jedidiah says in his review, Bristow depicts 7 different types of Biblical marriage in his book, and 2 of these are currently practiced in most Christian churches today. I found it interesting that one type that is no longer practiced is called "Patriarchy" (using the original, true meaning of the word).
The 2 types which our churches encourage today are 1) the traditional marriage model, and 2) the companionship model. Bristow analyzes the original Hebrew text in the Genesis story of Adam and Eve, and concludes that the companionship model was what Adam and Eve experienced naturally before The Fall, while they were still blessed. And the traditional marriage model describes Adam and Eve after The Fall, after they had been cursed. Here's the traditional model, in brief: "He would be domineering, yes, but she would be manipulative and cunning and charming. Each of them would try to control the other." And each would blame the other whenever things went wrong. The companionship model is based on complete equality, with no real separation of roles or division of labor. In other words, it's the model that modern feminists espouse, and it certainly does sound ideal. But is it also practical? I think it can be, because I've seen marriages like this, and they are wonderful. But for every marriage I've seen that is trying to follow the companionship model, I've seen 9 out of 10 that try to do it and fail for every 1 out of 10 that succeeds. It takes more maturity than most young couples possess to make it a practical reality. If both are mature enough to be able to love unselfishly, then this companionship model is definitely the way to go. For example, here's how Hannah Whitall Smith's The Christian's Secret of a Happy Life (Moody Classics) describes Paul's doctrine of mutual submission: "the deepest desire of each heart is that it may know every secret wish or longing of the other, in order that it may fly on the wings of the wind to gratify it." If both possess that much unselfish love, then the companionship model can be a recipe for bliss. But all too often, he or she may think they are giving what the other person truly wants, but instead, they are only giving what they themselves wish to receive. Another kind of maturity which may enable the companionship model to work is a good appreciation of the difference between the two sexes. A woman cannot give a man what he needs (and vice versa) unless she understands what men are likely to desire. Unfortunately, many American women today are taught that what men desire is illegitimate or bad. This kind of immaturity is certain to prevent the companionship model from working. (Not that today's young men are any better at appreciating a woman's desires.) The companionship model can only work well if neither the man nor the woman is controlling toward the other, and neither will spend much time blaming the other. Such an ideal can never be achieved perfectly, of course. Unfortunately, in most marriages at least one person is significantly controlling, and then the marriage is anything but ideal. If the man is the decision maker, then this is a traditional marriage, rather than the companionship model. Luckily, some traditional marriages are better than others. Stephen Arterburn's Every Man's Marriage: An Every Man's Guide to Winning the Heart of a Woman (previously released as Every Woman's Desire)describes how to make this traditional marriage very benign: if you're going to act as the referee, then you'd better be completely certain that you're 1) hearing all sides before making a decision, and 2) to be fair, deciding in others' favor at least as often as you decide in your own favor. OTOH, if the woman is the decision maker, then we have a marriage which is beyond the pale, and which isn't even covered in Bristow's book of Biblical marriages at all. In Laura Doyle's The Surrendered Wife : A Practical Guide to Finding Intimacy, Passion, and Peace with Your Man, there are some excellent descriptions of what happens in this awful type of marriage: usually, he becomes a passive couch potato because her controlling nature emasculates him. To sum all this up, we're talking about 4 different kinds of marriage in modern America, in order: 1 and 2, tied for the worst: 1) The woman functions as the boss, or 2) The man functions as the boss, and does so unfairly, disrespectfully, and/or unlovingly. 3) The man functions as the boss, but he's at least middling close to Arterburn's ideal. It's far better than 1 or 2 above, but nowhere near as blessed as 4) The companionship model, when it actually works. I.e., when it isn't just equality in name only. I'm giving this 5 stars because it's the book which convinced me personally that true equality is the way to go. (Previously, I'd thought that Arterburn described the ideal.) Now all I have to do is to find a woman mature enough to practice it (when so many view entitlement, power, and control as virtues, it won't be easy). And above all, I have to continue to seek true maturity for myself, learning new virtues and being willing to have Him lessen my flaws.
Share your thoughts with other customers: Create your own review
|
|
Tag this product(What's this?)Think of a tag as a keyword or label you consider is strongly related to this product.
Tags will help all customers organize and find favorite items. |
|
This product's forum
Active discussions in related forums
Search Customer Discussions
|
Related forums
|
