The Big Book of Misunderstanding [Hardcover]

Jim Gladstone (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 2002

An entire suburban household comes of age simultaneously in this tender, funny first novel of growing children and their arrested-adolescent parents. Perceptively capturing both the warmth and the frictions within a memorably eccentric family, author Jim Gladstone debuts with a work of great humor, heart, and psychological insight.

THE BIG BOOK OF MISUNDERSTANDING is a refreshingly candid novel that combines the emotional depth of Sue Miller with the comic verve of Stephen MacCauley. The story opens as Joshua Royalton - 22-years-old, gay, and an aspiring children's book writer - contemplates suicide and asks himself:

"Do I have to end my life to end my childhood?"

To come up with an answer, Josh leads readers on a tumultuous jaunt through his family history. The Royaltons, Josh explains, are "like Norman Rockwell run amok, so wholesome it's perverse." Dad refuses to wake up from his dream of an Ozzie and Harriet family life. Mom searches for freedom in psychology books. Brother Lew takes refuge in clandestine romance and rebellious isolation.

Recounting his youth, Josh reveals the elaborate tales, theories and neuroses he developed to cope with the overbearing affection of his parents. These include a fictional history of tacky Chinese restaurant decor, a severe case of crow-phobia, an obsession with Carly Simon, an extreme aversion to jigsaw puzzles, and a deep fascination with the little known Basque-sport, jai alai.Above all else, there is Josh's enduring devotion to his late grandfather, a man who bore little resemblance to the hero Josh makes of him.

Josh struggles to figure out how to be both a part of his family and apart from his family, wrestling with his burgeoning sexuality, his artistic inclinations, and a sometimes crippling inability to be less than empathetic with those around him.

Rendering the feverish - and often hilarious - imagination of a troubled youngster's mind with pitch-perfect accuracy, Jim Gladstone takes readers on a wild ride through pop cultural touchstones of the 1970s and 1980s while maintaining a sense of emotional intimacy that will keep readers highly invested in the developing lives of the Royalton family.

THE BIG BOOK OF MISUNDERSTANDING is about finding ways to laugh when life is at its most trying. It's about the deep bonds between fathers and sons - and between brothers. It's about a strong, evolving mother and a brilliant teenage girl whose insights and desires for independence lead them to force distance between themselves and the men they truly care about.

Most of all, it's about people who insist on figuring out how to love each other despite their differences - and despite the indelible similarities they sometimes wish they didn't share.

Jim Gladstone proves that the darkly ironic eye and the deeply affectionate heart are not mutually exclusive writerly terrains in his impressively accomplished debut novel. Written with sharp wit and emotional subtlety, THE BIG BOOK OF MISUNDERSTANDING delivers quirky surprises at every turn.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Gladstone's sweeping if muddled first novel certainly opens dramatically, as plucky, eccentric Joshua Royalton contemplates suicide, thinking, "Did I have to end my life to end my childhood?" As his attempt is squelched, so begins this prickly portrait of a boy's bittersweet Philadelphian upbringing. The largely "misunderstood" son of a restless mother and a controlling father, Joshua navigates the usual boyhood traumas, curing his persistent "outcast" status in grade school by participating in his town's dramatic production of Hello, Dolly!. Moving on to develop an impressive theatrical reputation in high school, he dates the lovely Meri and dreams about getting into Yale. Once admitted, he is ushered into an early adulthood comprising new friends, revelations about his sexuality (Meri is no longer part of the picture), and his parents' strangely smooth separation after 25 years of marriage. But Gladstone's debut is patchy. Dialogue and first-person prose convincingly channel a perceptive child's universe of sugar cereals, pet turtles and trips to the zoo, yet as Joshua grows up, his supporting story often seems contrived, robbing the narrative of the emotional richness it strives for. Gladstone frequently substitutes punch lines for poignancy, and sometimes fumbles both: Joshua's homosexual disclosure to both parents unleashes pages of silly, sophomoric, Leave It to Beaver patronizing. A touching twist at the book's conclusion counterbalances the clich‚s with some heartfelt sentiment as father and son finally begin to understand their familial interdependence. Gladstone's tender, bouncy narrative, flush with the intricacies (both exquisite and torturous) of burgeoning gay youth is broad enough for a mixed audience. Gay readers whose coming-out process was nightmarish may want to pass on this trouble-free, sugary rendition, but those who managed to emerge unscathed will find it refreshingly nostalgic and entertaining. Author tour.

Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

From Booklist

Back once again to the minefields of the tortured father-son relationship, the locale of so much fiction. Josh and Lew, two wildly different brothers, grow up with a super-controlling lawyer father, Harris Royalton, who makes General Patton look tame, and a mother whose midlife education and career in psychology rock the upper-middle-class, dysfunctional family's already tilting boat. But what constitutes family? Josh intuits his differentness early on but denies his same-sex attractions. While Lew excels on the playing fields, Josh sings and dances on stage, studies hard, and, turning his back on his parents' alma mater, opts instead for Yale. The brothers' estrangement mirrors and intensifies the discord underlying the family's whole structure, and only years later can the adult Josh finally return home, confront the myth and the constraints of his father's "sacred Royalton family," and make peace with the frightened and abandoned old man. This incisively written novel should appeal to both gay and mainstream readers. Whitney Scott
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 239 pages
• Publisher: Harrington Park Pr (January 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1560233834
• ISBN-13: 978-1560233831
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 7.1 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,785,162 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Maddeningly Normal Family, July 1, 2002

By 

"[e-mail]" - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Big Book of Misunderstanding (Paperback)

"Do I have to end my life to end my childhood?" Josh Royalton asks. Jim Gladstone's first novel is a good-humored flashback on a family maddeningly normal at its disfunctional worst. So why is Josh about to swallow his dad's Clonazepam tablets?

Unlike misunderstood gay kids whose alienation from family is a rite of passage perhaps more painful than their coming out, Josh was nearly loved to death. It's one of the cosmic ironies of the tale-that whatever Joshy, his brother Lewis, or mother `Becca do, they cannot get beyond Harris, the well-intentioned but controlling father, whose blind faith in their Ozzie and Harriet family appears unshakeable. Whatever they feel, dad assures them they're fine, all's well, they'll get over it, or he'll take care of it. As they flounder toward individuation, his obsessive manipulation drives them away. Lew takes to sports his dad can't coach and eventually escapes to California, leaving no address. `Becca takes psychology courses, gets a Ph.D., and divorces Harris to claim herself. And Josh drifts-still bound by his childhood and his dad's smothering influence, until he's on the edge of a nervous breakdown. He writes his book "to live through my twenty-two years again. I would set them to paper and set them to rest." With The Big Book of Misunderstanding he writes himself out of suicide.

But if you think this book doesn't sound like fun, you misunderstand! It is one of the most original, honest, funny, and brilliantly written memoirs in lavender print. Gladstone's writing is irresistible, with refreshing, inimitable phrasing, sparkling verbs that cut like diamonds, and perfectly apt though unexpected new metaphors. His are sentences you underscore and star in the margins so you can find them again. When Josh's mother sends him to a psychiatrist (he was "caught up in a notion that I was probably a space alien ... rather than the true product of my nominal parents' sexual intercourse"), he passes the Rorschach test: " `What do you see here?' [the shrink] asked. Two erect penises, I thought. `Two blue giraffes,' I said. `And here?' Mega-vagina, obviously. `Butterfly,' I said." Dr. Friedman tells Mrs. Royalton that Josh is a pretty normal kid. "Right. He was totally worthless," Josh concludes. In another scene his worrisome mother phones him at college: "Was your trip back OK, honey?" "Yeah, Mom. It was fine. When I went to the snack bar on the train, I wore a condom in your honor." You will love these people, including delusional dad, who even long after the divorce declines invitations, pretending the family's still together. Everything he ever wanted has fallen apart, and he can't see he caused it.

Josh never forgot The Big Book of Safety Fun, his father's gift when he and Lewis were little-another mistake; it terrified them with fables of frightening accidents, like being scalded from not pre-testing shower water. As the boys grew up, the book came to represent all their father's good-intentioned, wrong choices. In Josh's book, dad misunderstands his family; Josh misunderstands his parents and brother; but mostly, Josh misunderstands himself. Writing The Big Book of Misunderstanding reconciles him with his cloying childhood.

Jim Gladstone dedicates his novel to his parents: "Beyond any book,/Beyond all words,/I love you."

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Bridget Loves Frankenbernie, July 14, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Big Book of Misunderstanding (Hardcover)

The TBBOM is a very well-described memory of a time when Bridget still loved Bernie and mucky-green bell-bottoms were on their first round of fashion. Like a Supressed Memory Recovery artist, Jim GLADSTONE reminds us why we gave up eating Count Chocula, despite the prize at the bottom of the box. He takes us on a journey that some us never wanted to be on in the first place, but had no say in the matter. We've all been through, "If I have to stop this car, my belt's coming off". GLADSTONE reminds us that, regardless of who we've grown into today, our destiny was shaped by a little brother's fear of a Satanic night light or a father's absolute disbelief of a family broken up. After finishing this Psych-Time Travel novel, you will end up right where you should be - asking yourself how you got here but thankful that you do not have to go back.

4.0 out of 5 stars Confused young man comes to terms with his inclinations, September 4, 2007

By 

Benjamin (UK) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: The Big Book of Misunderstanding (Hardcover)

This is the story of the Royalton family, related by Josh Royalton who, at the age of 22, looks back over his life to date, contemplating whether or not he can continue; recounting the many events that have led to this situation.
It is a most enjoyable book, funny, sad, with very likeable and real characters. The dominating, ambitious, insensitive but loving father; the cynical brother; the restless mother; we have probably meet people like them. And then Josh himself, a most appealing individual, who as he matures gradually comes to recognise and accept his feelings for other men.
There is no great plot to talk of, but that is part of its charm, for it is beautifully written, and one can truly enjoy the experience.