The Big Five-Oh!: Facing, Fearing, And Fighting Fifty [Paperback]

William Geist (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 19, 1998

Bill Geist's hilarious book describes his personal struggle with the awful aging process and with the monumental milestone called the Big Five-Oh. From the trauma of receiving an application to join the AARP to the realization that he can't really see the menu, hear the waiter, or remember the specials, Geist catalogs the discontents, large and small, of those approaching and passing fifty. He lies about his age, shops for a Harley, buys an Ab-Roller, receives liposuction counseling, finds himself the oldest guy at a rock concert, catches himself paying attention to a Depends commercial, buys "relaxed fit" jeans, falls asleep at a party, wakes up from a nightmare about college tuition, and damn near buys a Cadillac!

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

The chief impression left in one's mind by this collection of 51 essays by the regular commentator for the CBS Evening News and CBS's Sunday Morning is that, if one can, one should avoid ever turning 50. All manner of calamities and perturbations beset the unwary and unsuspecting male?crow's feet, erectile dysfunction, adult diapers, whether to wear one's belt over or under the gut, turning Republican, and, of course, being AARP'd. Safe sex means keeping oxygen tanks and nitroglycerin pills close by one's bed. And for women, according to the author's wife, the big five-o means mammograms, eyebags, estrogen therapy, and flash management. Geist dons the jester's cap with the deliberate intent of bringing forth smiles, laughter, and howls, and frequently he succeeds; but one is aware now and then of the grinding of mental wheels. The book contains a number of clinkers, but fortunately there are more than enough nuggets to keep the reader pushing onward. For larger humor collections.?A.J. Anderson, GSLIS, Simmons Coll., Boston
Copyright 1997 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Kirkus Reviews

The 50-year-old Baby Boomers are coming! Eleven thousand a day, one every seven-and-a-half seconds for the next decade, they will reach that midlife landmark. Having done so himself, CBS commentator Geist (Monster Trucks and Hair-in-a-Can, 1994, etc.) offers his take on the apparently unexpected phenomenon of growing older. It's the startling receipt of an AARP membership card that initiates the author's comical ruminations about his condition. He covers aging--the humorist's classic material--in something life 50 short checklists and brief essays. Among Geist's complaints: He's contracted CRS, or ``Can't Remember Shit'' (his case seems confirmed by the repetition of a few favorite gags). He wants to wear a name tag for his own edification. His bawdy reportage segues to narcoleptic parties, maturing kids, health spas, trifocals, the music of John Tesh, incontinence, and the grand opening of a funeral home (where guests nibbled on finger sandwiches ``from the caterer, not the back room''). With particular attention to urology and his (or anybody's) libido, Geist seems to aspire to the post of Dirty Old Man, which is okay if it's funny. Happily, most of the time it is, with just an occasional lapse. Make what you will of his sex advisory: ``Just Keep It to Yourself. At this point why drag others into this ugly business?'' For the ladies, he has a few comments on Premarin and the fitting of fiftysomethings into bathing suits. Geist, of course, has an attitude: Gail Sheehy, he has concluded, is full of that stuff he can't remember (see ``CRS''). He covers his subject with an acerbic wit that occasionally calls for a large dose of Maalox. If the AARP card so affected Geist's spirit, what will happen when his Medicare card comes 'round? Still, this is way funnier than Modern Maturity. -- Copyright ©1997, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 250 pages
• Publisher: Quill (August 19, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0688163440
• ISBN-13: 978-0688163440
• Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.8 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.9 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (6 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,296,219 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Geist is right...it's downhill from here., October 8, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: The Big Five-Oh!: Facing, Fearing, And Fighting Fifty (Hardcover)

I was beginning to wonder if all the ailments, annoyances, shortcomings and memory lapses were only happening to me. I was pleased to read the laundry list of post 50 faculties that change for most of us. This book is a hilarious affirmation that we are all in the same boat. A great read.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This book kept me laughing from the first to the last page., November 30, 1997

By A Customer

This review is from: The Big Five-Oh! Fearing, Facing, and Fighting Fifty (Hardcover)

Bill Geist tickled my aging funny bone with his no-holds barred look at reaching the milestone of 50. Approaching that milestone in September 1998, I was comforted in knowing that all of the parts of my body that are failing or getting bigger are not part of some conspiracy known only to me. Geist has written a laugh out loud expose of the horrors of reaching AARP age qualification. Ron Reich

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars its a hoot, March 19, 2006

By 

Mr. R. Pearson (Newcastle on Tyne.U.K.) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Big Five-Oh!: Facing, Fearing, And Fighting Fifty (Paperback)

I am from England but this is one of the first truly American books that has tickled my sense of humour. I laughed out loud in many places in the book and my wife keeps looking strangely at me. I sent it to one of my relations in the U.S.A. but have not recieved any comments yet, it is early days. Best regards . Ron Pearson.