Customer Reviews

Big Kiss: One Actor's Desperate Attempt to Claw His Way to the Top

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This may be the funniest book I have ever read. It captures what it's like to try to break in--in this case, to showbiz, but in a larger sense, to anything you don't belong to. His chapter about being a phone sex operator (Caller: Do you like it with the teacher? Alford: Yes. I wrote my paper on "Mrs. Dalloway" Caller: [Click!]) is wildly hilarious, possibly the best thing he has ever written. I also liked it when he was an extra in Godzilla, and punchy from having screamed in fright at the giant lizard for a whole day, starts to scream "in an accent vaguely Caribbean, vaguely Cockney, "`Zilla monster ate me baby!" You have to like a guy who says, "I have bushy eyebrows, so I thought I could get cast as someone who just invented something."

The topic of this book made me a little doubtful--making fun of show business is sort of like shooting fish in a barrel. But Alford delivers: he has very unusual takes on the topic, and, on several occasions (the chapter about being in the movie Godzilla, for one) made me literally cry with laughter. Wow. Does he have a column somewhere? I'd love to read it.

Having already read Henry Alford's previous book MUNICIPAL BONDAGE, I was already aware that Mr. Alford was a smart alec, and I am happy to report that in BIG KISS he still is. Hooray and halleluja! Alford's comic relections on his quixotic forays into the theater are a joy to behold. This is a light and funny book that I read in one sitting. Henry Alford should have his own adjective, and it should require special spelling! Here's hoping we don't have to wait six years until his next book.

A wonderfully amusing look at actors and acting. Alford has a terrific eye for the absurd. Parts of the book will make you laugh out loud. This is as funny as his last book. READ BOTH!

This book had me falling out of the settee so often I had to move my fanny elsewhere. Alford is a very clever boy and one of the funniest writers alive. I would pay good money to witness he and David Sedaris talking about anything. I recommend this book to anyone who needs a laugh. Which should be just about anyone. Bravo.

Henry Alford is an author I had never heard of. I ran across a copy of this book in New York City and I'm glad I purchased it. He faithfully recreates an actors plight in going from job to job
in a very hard profession. He never seems to lose his wit or sense of humor throughout. It is an enjoyable light read. I recommend it to everyone who is in theatre or wants to know what it is like to be a professional actor. I loved the part of Henry taking his mother to Paul Sills acting camp in Wisconsin. A neat lady with a great sense of humor. In fact Henry proves the apple doesn't fall very far. Most enjoyable

Henry Alford is brilliantly witty, yet he displays an internal angst that resonates within the reader. You'll be right alongside him on his hilarious and occasionally pathetic journey to the promised land of stardom. A reviewer wrote of Alford's previous book that it was "dessert-like." This book is an uplifting treat, too, and reading a chapter or two shall surely brighten your day.

In the tradition of David Sedaris or Joe Orton, this author exposes the absurdities of life in a wholly original and daring way.

I read the chapter about phone sex to my friend Bill over the phone and he had tears of laughter. Dave Barry used to be this funny.

The author is described above as "a trained humorist," which makes him sound about as entertaining as a taxidermist. Despite that billing, this book is rarely funny. It begins with a few mildly interesting anecdotes about acting and auditioning, but follows them with several dozen pointless episodes. In one, the author dons pajamas and wanders around Manhattan. Why? It isn't clear. What does wearing pajamas to the New York Stock Exchange have to do with the author's ambition to act? Nothing, as far as we can tell. In another, he badgers the New York Police Department for details of the city's Rent-A-Cop program. Again, nothing to do with acting, but it's clear the author expects readers to marvel at his eccentricity. "See how wacky I am! I phoned the police department! I asked about renting a cop! Twice!" In one of the book's many inexplicable shifts of tone, the author spins the rent-a-cop anecdote into a rant on the police force being used as private security for the rich, providing wealthy residents with taxpayer-subsidized parties. All well and good, Henry; you're a perceptive social critic. But why are you telling me this? And why are you telling me HERE, in a book about acting? In an attempt to anchor his gossipy narrative with gravitas, the author makes occasional reference to the possible dissolution of his 7-year relationship. This material might prove interesting in another venue but it's out of place here. We learn little of substance about the author or his boyfriend, Jess. How can we be expected to care when their relationship stumbles? Perhaps the most annoying aspect of this book is its sloppy writing. Not only does the author resort to hackneyed phrases in place of original observations; he actually manages to MANGLE the clichés. Thus we read: "Could a weekend with Tony Roberts be far in the offing?" He means to say, "Could a weekend...be in the offing?" OR "Could a weekend...be far off?" Evidently, Alford's pajama-wearing wackiness prevents him from using a dictionary or hiring an editor. (By the way, Henry, "messenger" is not a verb.) The writer to which Alford is often compared, David Sedaris, artfully converts his highly individual speaking style into original, musical prose--carefully controlling both tone and rhythm. Instead of attempting something equally creative and true to himself, Alford merely imitates this style by spewing an onrush of breathless prose. The result is a vacuum where wit should be.