Customer Reviews

The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level

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...But first you have to be a success.

The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks, is another personal learning book following an idea of coming to a fundamental realization that will help you better yourself. In this case, the central hidden realization we can come to is that when we begin to enjoy great success in some area of our lives, we tend to create problems in that or another area of our lives. We do this because we hit our "upper limit" of happiness, financial success, joy in a relationship, or any of a number of other things, and this upper limit causes us to unconsciously sabotage ourselves or even make ourselves ill. Dr. Hendricks explains that we may have one or more of four hidden barriers that activate our upper limit self-sabotage. The four hidden barriers are caused by: 1 - feeling fundamentally flawed, 2 - disloyalty and abandonment issues, 3 - believing that more success brings a bigger burden, and 4 - the perceived crime of outshining. When we learn to break through our barrier, we can move into the zone of genius (assuming that we've already been in the zone of excellence).

If you are a "Type A" personality, a perfectionist, or a workaholic, this book may be for you. As he is apparently all three of those, I can visualize all of this whole line of thought and the suggested action steps as being very plain to Dr. Hendricks, and can visualize him blissfully laying this all out in the course of writing this book. It's as if he's saying, "Come on - you can do this! It's easy. Look - I've worked it all out. Here are our issues, here is what we need to understand, and here's what we do about it." But much of it is basically a foreign language to people like me, as I am not a "Type A" personality, not a perfectionist, and definitely not a workaholic.

There's a certain intelligence required to succeed in the way that Dr. Hendricks measures success. It's not just about being bright enough to receive a certain level of education and being able to apply it - it's about having a knack for business and social interaction. Some have it and some just don't. Having that knack for business and social interaction involves knowing what people will go for and what they won't, capitalizing on that, and being well enough connected with the right people to turn it all into some kind of money generator, popular movement, or satisfying relationship. In addition to all of that, what is often required is having the energy and financial resources to fail lots of times and yet keep getting back up to try again. Yet none of these things are really even acknowledged in The Big Leap (except just faintly in the Appendix), nor is there any suggestion of how to succeed in spite of not having that inborn knack for Western greatness. (Or is that just my hidden barrier of feeling fundamentally flawed kicking in?)

This book is quite competently written - it's a fast read, and in the early parts, can be quite a page-turner. Hendricks' language flows and does not get in the way of rapid movement through the text, which I found was often happening as I was moving through looking for a key point to come out of his line of thought. So, The Big Leap is well written in that sense, though I ultimately found it somewhat lacking in substance.

The suggestions for "Building a New Home in Your Zone of Genius" really only scratch the surface, unless you're someone who frequently comes up with million dollar ideas over breakfast, perhaps. The Ultimate Success Mantra might help some to fine tune their already beaming selves... but again, this seems to assume a certain high level of being. I didn't really find that it grabbed me enough that I'd honestly want to make it my mantra, or that I could realistically expect to actually do this meditation regularly. Chapter Six, Living in Einstein Time, kind of assumes that the reader is so busy that "there's no time" for a lot of things. Again, this is "Type A" workaholic material that I found myself unable to relate to. It seems to me that success and having a life that works is more about your level and quality of personal energy, social connectivity, clarity of purpose and understanding, and the sheer will power to hammer it all out, and again, none of those things are really addressed in this book.

So in the end, The Big Leap is interesting for what it is, and it does shed important light on ways that we can unconsciously cause our own hurts, physical and otherwise, but you'll have to see for yourself if what's presented in it are ideas you can realistically apply in your own life.

THE BIG LEAP revolves around the interesting proposition that while we all like to feel good, most of us have acquired a ceiling for our expectations in the course of growing up. The optimism and exuberance of childhood have given way to a darker view of how the world works and our place in it. We then make our reality conform to our expectations and engineer circumstances to bring us back to the "safe" upper limits our subconscious has imposed on us.

This has the effect of our putting on the brakes whenever we get out of our zone of comfort - what Hendricks calls our Zone of Competence or even of Excellence. But his mission is to get us to recognize our upper limit problem and break through it to living in our Zone of Genius. This is the sweet spot where we are doing work that nurtures our spirit and offers lasting contentment.

Hendricks has examined the human spirit and psyche for all of his working life. A PhD in Counseling Psychology from Stanford, and then a Professor at the University of Colorado for 21 years, he co-founded the Hendricks Institute with his wife Kathlyn to focus on conscious living and relationships. This book seems to be an exposition and distillation of some of the most important lessons for achieving our true potential. Through a series of questions for contemplation and other tools, he gently guides the reader to an understanding of how and where you have created limits, how to move beyond them to living in your zone of genius and succeeding in love, life and finances.

What I was most taken by was his "Ultimate Success Mantra." It is similar on the surface to many other affirmations you probably have read over the years, but I believe this one is profoundly different.

I would call it the Golden Rule for the Quantum Age, because while affirming that you expand in abundance, success and love every day, you do so by means of inspiring others to do the same. It reinforces the understanding of our interconnectedness and predicates your ultimate success on what you radiate back to others. This is the true Law of Attraction in action. Get the book and let its wisdom inspire your Genius.

This really is a fantastic book that helps us take a look at how we sabotage ourselves due to our unconscious belief that we do not deserve to be happy. The author gives great examples of how to overcome these obstacles. I found the book to be very helpful. I was completely unaware of this author until reading this book. Now, I am recommending it to all of my clients.

Over time I've read plenty of self help books - and I believe there are many because each of us resonate with different words, stories and ideas - because often the underlying ideas are the same.

What stood out for me - my big aha - in the Big Leap is that Gay names the hidden barriers that mostly unconsciously are in the way of each of us stepping up to create passionate work we love and thrive in - our zone of genius. His words help me understand the pieces of the puzzle and how they can be put into place and we can more easily thrive. And this is all stated so simply - that it's almost hard to believe it can work.

The four barriers (which are well explained with examples) are:

Feeling Fundamentally Flawed
Disloyalty and Abandonment
Believing that More Success Brings a Bigger Burden
The Crime of Outshining

Some how having Gay name these brought consciousness to myself (and I'm sure many others)- to be aware when you're no longer comfortable (with your success and achievement) and begin the unconscious pattern of self sabotage (to keep yourself right where you are comfortable).

Another piece that powerfully stands out is the mantra - and trust me I've said quite a few over time. "I expand in abundance, success and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same."

I've been saying this for the past three+ weeks since reading the book. Amazingly or not for the doubters - I've had 3 newer clients send written testimonials without asking, 3 past clients come back and say they want to work (and it's been more than a year for a couple of them), 1 new one out of the blue, 2 people that I've always wanted to collaborate with but would dismiss the idea out of my own discomfort aka self sabotage so I wouldn't shine too much - contact me and ask to connect.

The aha and realization that I've settled in my zone of comfort and zone of excellence for so long (because I keep bumping into my own upper limit problems but not recognizing it as self sabotage - my thermostat needed to stay at 68) that I've been unconscious to the possibility of daring to ask for and own having more. I'm in the process of setting up the support I need to allow me to step or is it leap into my own zone of genius. It will take asking for help and being vulnerable instead of having all the answers to allow myself to speak my truth - what I really want - so that I can really shine.

As this year closes, I know that I've already expanded and I can hardly wait for all the possibility of 2010. If you're ready to take your own big leap - do read and do take action. It can be magical.

I bought this book because I really liked "Lasting Love" by the same author and thought the subject was interesting. I also felt that my business partner was sabotaging our efforts at creating success, and wanted to check it out before giving him a copy. What I found was a brilliant book that has shown me several ways that I have been bumping up against my own upper limits.

Last night, after having read only the first chapter the night before, I decided I would read for a few minutes before going to sleep. However I became so engrossed in the book that I stayed up until 2:30 am to finish it. After catching on to the author's perspective, I was unwilling to go to sleep without having this new perspective digested. Reading it also liberated a lot of energy, and after less than 4 hours of sleep, I'm sitting here writing a book review, slightly tired, but also energized.

It's a testimony to the author's brilliance that he can take a subject that's subtle and complex, and make it seem like a lesson from elementary school. I found the same kind of brilliance in his other book. It's an easy read, but for me not a fast one. I often had to stop to ponder the implications of what I was reading. The fact that I could not put it down is testament to the author's skill and love for what he does.

The book shows how even successful people have an upper limit to their success, love and abundance, and will sabotage their lives in order to avoid exceeding their upper limit. These tendencies originate in childhood (no surprise there). The book shows you the most common beliefs we have about ourselves which are the hidden barriers to our happiness, and what you can do about them. Definitely recommended for anyone who is interested in moving beyond a good life into a great one.

This book helps you understand the one basic root of self-sabotage. That was the promise on which I purchased it. And it delivered. Mr. Hendricks not only explained the Upper Limit Problem, he offered ideas and encouragement for moving past it without giving a 'prescription' to follow.
I appreciate the clear message that while there is one major problem, there are an infinite number of personal applications - and the individual is really the only one who can synthesize a personal solution.
Besides the Upper Limit Problem and his Zones (of Incompetence, Competence, Mediocrity, Excellence, and Genius) I was also impressed enough to recommend it to associates who were complaining about 'not enough time' because of a fascinating concept he introduced and called 'Einstein time'.
Anyone who recognizes and want to get past the sense of repeated short-circuits in their efforts to get ahead in any area of their lives, would be well served to read this book and apply its principles.

Not a lot of books explain how we sabotage ourselves in most everything we do as we approach success. Gay teaches us how our belief system IS and what we can do to change it. It's easy to understand and you'll walk away with the skills you need to take that BIG Leap yourself.

The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next LevelI enjoyed reading this book, I learned a lot about my behavior, it made me aware and to be able to understand the type of things I do, by which clearly, I have been undermining myself and I did not know why I was doing them. I have been realizing about that type of behavior in myself and have been questioning myself why will I do things like that. Well my questions have been answered, and it is fitting to say that when we look we find; thank you Gay.

I really got a lot out of this book. I have read and reread and highlighted and practiced the excercises and found it to be very uplifting and inspiring. I have "worked out" a lot of unconscious beliefs that I have had, or at least am aware that they exist. This has been very helpful, however this is the stage I seem to be stuck on, the launching... I have done numerous other techniques (Steve Sisgold, Way of Mastery, A course in Miracles) and always come back to the same, love yourself and all that you are past and present. Maybe I am not in the excellent zone and that is why I have not been able to leap yet. I hop a long. The book talks about the ceos etc I sometimes find myself feeling left out...I am a receptionist, mom of two, divorced, educated, yes, but I believe anyone can take the leap, right? So why do I still hop along... Maybe some need more launching time?
I would greatly appreciate any feedback!
Thank you!
Magdalena hopalong

A few months ago, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks was recommended to me by my web team. Obediently (because they know more about this stuff than I do) I added it to my kindle, intending to poke at it in small bits while on the treadmill or waiting out hockey practices.

Once I opened the book that plan flew out the window. The Big Leap is a fascinating book! It's a fast and enjoyable read, even counting the required moments of introspection.

I suppose The Big Leap is classified as a self-help book, but it wasn't just another collection of the trite, `you can do it' cheerleading. The Big Leap is well written and grounded in the experience and expertise of the author. It's full of tangible insight and advice that I easily applied to my own circumstances.

In short, The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks is all about accepting our strengths and accepting ourselves, while expanding to embrace all the good stuff life offers. Many people fall into the trap of fear that you can be successful, but only at the expense of your personal relationships. Or that you can have love and happiness, if you're willing to sacrifice your career.

We all have responsibilities and passions that require or call on our time, respectively. But Gay Hendricks assures his readers that a healthy, happy balance is within reach. In The Big Leap, Hendricks has compiled pointed questions to help you nail down what matters most to you and what may have held you back in the past.

Through plenty of real world examples, Hendricks makes his points clearly, with good humor and kindness. "Learning from the mistakes of others" isn't quite the right adage, but the book is written so readers can sympathize and relate to the struggles and then celebrate the subsequent triumphs of others. The Big Leap really is world building for your life!