Customer Reviews

Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

I thought I was savvy. I thought I knew all about sex. I thought, as a fat person, I knew all about fat sex. After reading Big Big Love, I realized that my knowledge only scratched the surface. Hanne Blank covers every aspect of the fat sexual experience, from basic flirtation to establishing limits in a BDSM scenario. This is the most informative book I've ever come across that deals with sexuality, fat or otherwise. It puts The Joy of Sex to shame. Big Big Love not only explains fat sex in detail, but conveys that it is ok to take pleasure in your body, no matter what size you are or what your sexual preference is. She also goes into depth regarding health issues that can effect the sexuality of large people such as PCOS and STDs. I found this section to be most informative. I think that every large person, and everyone who has ever had the desire for a large partner should read this book from cover to cover. You will learn not only about sex. But about being sensitive to your large body, or large partner. To let go of the shame of fat, and enjoy the bountiful wonder that is Big Big Love.

As a fat woman in today's "thin is in" society, I've been continually told by society that I am not attractive and that I would be without a mate all my life. Of course, if you care to really read between the lines, they were also saying that nobody would ever want to have sex with me. In fact, many people made me feel "sexless"... like someone who was invisible when it came to romance. Once I realized that they were WRONG, I still felt "out of it" because every piece of erotic work, every movie, every "how to do it" book focused on thin. Some even flat out said that if you were fat, forget what we're telling you.

This book breaks all those rules and IT'S ABOUT TIME! Of course, having limitations, whether they stem from size, physical disabilities, whatever, sometimes mean that you have to be "inventive" when having sex. Up until now, nobody talked about that - which gave the impression again that something was "wrong" with those of us who are experiencing those situations.

Big Big Love spells out how to overcome those "problems" in plain English. It also reinforces that what a hell of a lot of us already knew. Big folks are having sex and they're ENJOYING IT! Now, we can enjoy it even more because the taboos are taken away and the pointers on how to overcome things like "flexibility problems" are there for us to see and put into practice!

This books has been something that's been needed for a long time. I'm so glad it's finally here!

First,let me say I LOVE Greenery Press, although I am a gay man,I love their library of books.Ethical Slut was my first,and their books have some crossover appeal to a gay audience.
Hanne Blank does a wonderful job laying out the flabulous facts for me,a person of size.
The First Chapter covers the myths many people still have about fat people(ie.we are hiding under fat,we aren't sexual,we aren't able to have sex,etc) and points out new ways of dealing with friends,family,and acquaintances who would try to stifle you.Best of all she gives resource listings for people with reach problems,hospital gowns,etc.this alone is worth the price of the book.
The Second Chapter deals with size acceptance organizations,community and culture.Everything from straight,bi-sexual,and gay are covered,(including chubs and chasers for the uninitiated.) One of the highlights of this chapter is the essay from SeaFATle on how lesbians,gays,bisexuals and transgendered people are similar to fat people. The next part of this chapter on Internet surfing,nettiquet,and so forth are enlightening and mentions several good sites,and how to use for the computer unfamiliar.
Chapter Three deals with how to flirt,meet people,emphasis your best attributes and describe yourself,personal ads, and dating complications(ie.theatre seats)
Chapter Four is GREAT,again worth the price of the whole book.Deals with overcoming the nasty little voice from HIGH SCHOOL,self doubt,parental and friend manipulations,arousal,desire,self-confidence,limits,being a sex object,and snappy retorts and comebacks. The quotes of real people throughout the book ad wonderful grounding and a feeling of belonging,they express thoughts for many of us.
The rest of the book,Chapters 5 and 6, deals with health,fetish's and toys. She also includes the survey she did as research for this book.There is also a Resource listing for ANYTHING you could possibly imagine,(well,some of you may have kinkier minds than I do)
I give this 5 flabulous snaps in queer formation.
Hanne Blank's pic on the back of the paperback version makes me want to be straight,once at least....well almost.

I was looking forward to receiving this book in the mail, when it finally got here I am somewhat disappointed. I really wasn't looking for a lesson in fat discrimination 101. I AM a BBW and I'm sure for those of us who are can certainly identify with fat discrimination, but why call a book "A sourcebook on sex for people of size and those who love them" when the majority of the book is about fat discrimination in sexual relationships and how to overcome it. The VERY LAST chapter is about actual sexual positions, and sex in general. The rest of the book deals with tips on meeting people, how to feel confident etc.
Not to be too harsh, it does speak very well on the subject matter above, but the title and description of the book should definitely be changed.

While much of this book does focus on fat sexuality and sex in particular, the issues Hanne Blank raises are appropriate to anyone who has suffered because they felt they were unworthy of love or desire because they didn't fit some perfect social stereotype.

As a writer, Hanne is both incredibly well-informed and she has a fiesty attitude that had me laughing out loud as I was reading. Her suggested responses to people who make rude or uninformed remarks about your size fall into the category of - ooh, I wish I'd said that - except now you can!

This is a great and knowledgeable resource on both size and sexuality, and I thank Hanne for writing it. Stay fabulous!

This book is dead-on. Why so many women (and, I'm noticing more, men too) count themselves out of being sexual beings because they don't look like movie stars is beyond me. Whatever one's size, shape, or looks, you can find who truly appreciates you the way you're meant to be. This is a practical guide for both women and men who know that size only matters in a good way. High time this book was written and read!

As a happily married, straight, bbw, I found this book somewhat lacking. Most of the book deals with size acceptance, dealing with discrimination, etc. The author also spends alot of time comparing fat people to gays and how we've both been social outcasts, blah blah blah. I was looking for a book on how to enhance my sex life, and maybe even learn a new position or two. There is one chapter that actually deals with having sex, and there wasn't really anything new there either. If you are gay, or into BDSM there is a lot of info in this book that would interest you, but it just didn't do it for me.

I never knew that there was a book out there that could help me in such a way. I loved this book. Thank God there are people like Hanne Blank. More and more people of size and those who love them need to wake up. get out there and be proud!

and for those who love larger people. This book is cutting edge and I'm certain will cause a stir from people who preach that "thin is the only sexy" but guess what, most people don't look like models or movie stars so this is really a book for the majority of Americans. There are six chapter which cover everything from personal identity issues, dating, community groups, health, and sexual suggestions for a more fulfilling intimate life. I have two complaints about this book (thus the 4 stars instead of 5): facts without citation (yup, I know she did a survey but still there are facts tossed about that need evidence) and a jumping around between "fat people" and "fat admirers" that can make things a bit confusing. It could also really use some diagrams for some of the positions she discusses in chapter six -- if we can't assume that the existing sexuality books address "fat" needs, how can we assume that larger people know what a certain position looks like?

Not bad, but not insanely good. It was very informative, and I felt that the author really made an effort to appeal to the sexual needs of all of her readers - male, female, gay, bi, sexually dominating or submissive, ect. I thought I really knew everything there was to know, but I didn't. Frottage? Who knew?
The first couple of chapters may be a source of frustration for those of us who are already hard-core size acceptance people because it's making the effort to first and foremost dismiss a new readers self-hatred. But a chapter or two isn't much against an entire lifetime of cultural brain washing, and it was necessary for size-acitivism rookies.
I didn't find it particularly engrossing though. I was able to put it down. And skip around in it. However, I certainly don't regret buying it and it has a proper place in my library. I give it my recommendation.