Most Helpful Customer Reviews
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
A unique and powerful book for single mothers raising sons, July 21, 2007
Let me start with the bottom line: Every single mother faced with the daunting task of raising a male child from boy to man should read this book. Cederick Tardy, writing from his own personal experiences as a son who brought a world of grief to his over-matched, though well intentioned mother, delivers an intimate, yet objective and authoritative, book of advice aimed at helping other women and their sons to anticipate and avoid negative outcomes in their relationships. Tardy is brutally honest about just how far out of hand he got, including self-destructive forays into substance abuse, drug dealing and violence (including a suicide attempt), even as his mother took steps after her divorce from Tardy's father aimed at improving their quality of life. Thankfully, by the grace of God, Tardy survived to tell the tale--but too many young men don't, winding up emotionally, spiritually and even physically destroyed. I, too, was raised by a divorced single mother, and while I never engaged in the delinquent behavior Tardy did, both my mother and I (and my brother) would have benefited greatly had she had access to the advice provided in "The Big Payback." If you are a single mother, buy and read this book. And if you know a single mother trying to raise a male child (or male children), you couldn't bless her (and her children) with a greater gift.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
'Out of the Mouths of Babes': Wisdom from an Old Soul, November 15, 2007
"Learn what you can from whoever is willing and capable to teach you" is a motto by which Cederick W. Tardy II lives. And though THE BIG PAYBACK is a subtitled 'guide on raising a young man as a single mother' this fine little book is as sound and valuable a tool for family counseling as any to come around in a long time! Tardy is obviously a very intelligent 23 year old lad whose life experiences and innate and learned intelligence make his an old soul despite his youth - a factor which makes this 'self improvement' resource all the more powerful in that it comes from the direct experience of a troubled youth from a broken home, a lad who 'clammed up' only to release his energies under the influence of drugs, crime, alcohol, and military misadventures.
Tardy addresses this informative, smart, very well written book to single mothers - a factor he freely emphasizes is a major problem especially in the African American community. And his ability to address symptoms and signs of character disintegration and isolation and how to intervene and correct them as a mother such as his own was able to sustain makes his story one of pertinent importance. No classroom lesson in this format, but instead Tardy warmly takes parents by the hand and from the immediacy of his own experience provides insights and danger flags and confrontational healing processes that are sound, immensely well-illustrated and analyzed, and open a window of light to parents (both single and coupled) who are attempting to cope with 'problem kids'.
This is not another 'reformed sinner confessional' but instead a manual with practical exercises that addresses real problems and offers viable solutions. If there is a recurring word in Tardy's message then that word is 'communication': the wonder of this little book is how powerful and trustworthy is the advice from this young lad's mind. This book belongs in the hands of all parents, a welcome addition to the role of achieving a successful family life. Grady Harp, November 07
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5.0 out of 5 stars
Real Problems. Real Solutions., November 28, 2007
Review by Tavares S. Carney - "the Christian Page Turner"
In The Big Payback, author, Cederick Tardy draws upon his personal life experiences and advises from his own perspective, and probably many more young males, single mothers on what it is he thinks are the methods and strategies to raise a successful young man. Having had to deal with childhood emotions he so candidly shares in this work, he gives mothers who may not have an open line of communication with their son insight into what may be going through the minds of their young man. He turns the looking glass to all mothers, making us painfully examine what it is we could actually be doing better to rear our sons and areas whereby we can use a little or a lot of improvement. He gives pointers regarding the signs and symbols mothers should look for in order that they are conscious of other forms of communication from their son's besides verbal communication. The difference in what some are calling this "parenting manual" and a typical parenting manual from a seasoned psychologist, social worker or family counselor, is that it is advised from a youth perspective. While Cederick is quite appreciative of everything his mother thought she was doing right in providing for him, this work affords readers the true essence of what a son longs for from his mother, her time and attention, her ears and her heart. He teaches us all that material things come and go, but love and understanding surpasses all. A nurturing mother, with God's assistance, is the best cultivator of a successful, well-rooted young man. Cederick is proof positive that any situation can be made positive when a firm foundation is laid and communication is honest and open. Those of us that are mothers, single or not, will close the final page of this book having gained at least one thing we can take with us and apply it to our daily lives. Plain and simple, he discusses real topics and suggests real solutions.
Book Description
Cederick Tardy shows you how to build trust, develop courage to overcome, interpret actions and body language, improve communication skills, understand your son's thought processes, plan your son's future, understand his father's significance, win arguments without ruing relationships and much more. The Big Payback will open your eyes as a single mother and give you greater insight into what you should or shouldn't be doing as a parent to garner your son's success.
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by Cederick W., II Tardy
