The Birth Of A Mother: How The Motherhood Experience Changes You Forever [Hardcover]

Daniel N. Stern (Author), Nadia Bruschweiler-Stern (Author), Alison Freeland (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: March 6, 1998

As you prepare to become a mother, you face an experience unlike any other in your life. Having a baby will redirect your preferences and pleasures and, most likely, will realign some of your values.As you undergo this unique psychological transformation, you will be guided by new hopes, fears, and priorities. In a most startling way, having a child will influence all of your closest relationships and redefine your role in your family’s history. The charting of this remarkable, new realm is the subject of this compelling book.Renowned psychiatrist Daniel N. Stern has joined forces with pediatrician and child psychiatrist Nadia Bruschweiler-Stern and journalist Alison Freeland to paint a wonderfully evocative picture of the psychology of motherhood. At the heart of The Birth of a Mother is an arresting premise: Just as a baby develops physically in utero and after birth, so a mother is born psychologically in the many months that precede and follow the birth of her baby.The recognition of this inner transformation emerges from hundreds of interviews with new mothers and decades of clinical experience. Filled with revealing case studies and personal comments from women who have shared this experience, this book will serve as an invaluable sourcebook for new mothers, validating the often confusing emotions that accompany the development of this new identity. In addition to providing insight into the unique state of motherhood, the authors touch on related topics such as going back to work, fatherhood, adoption, and premature birth.During pregnancy, mothers-to-be talk about morning sickness and their changing bodies, and new mothers talk about their exhaustion, the benefits of nursing or bottle-feeding, and the dilemma of whether or when they should return to work. And yet, they can be strangely mute about the dramatic and often overwhelming changes going on in their inner lives. Finally, with The Birth of a Mother, these powerful feelings are eloquently put into words.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The author of Diary of a Baby turns his attentive eye on motherhood in this reassuring and uniquely substantive volume that focuses on new mothers. Based on close observation and hundreds of interviews with the mothers of young children, Stern, an infant psychiatrist who teaches at Cornell University Medical Center-New York Hospital, describes the complex emotional shifts that women experience as they travel from pregnancy through birth and into their baby's newborn period. For some, the transition into the new state of motherhood is instantaneous; for others, the initiation requires time. But all find the transformation profound, thoroughly changing their view of themselves, their relationships and the world. Stern offers his own perspective on the normal development changes that may be taking place, from concerns during pregnancy to changing relationships women may be experiencing with their own mothers, to building a matrix of helpful friends, to a baby's impact on a marriage. Of particular value are the descriptions, delivered in sensory, immediate prose, of the interactions between a wide array of mothers and their babies. Most stunning is a detailed evocation of a three-minute interaction between a mother and her baby that shows how, even when the mother doesn't respond perfectly, she is still doing well enough. It's hard to imagine a new mother who would not be inspired, reassured and encouraged by Stern's moving and thoughtful account. (Mar.) FYI: Basic will simultaneously reissue Stern's classic Diary of a Baby in paper.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Mothers are not created by the act of giving birth. Instead, argue the authors, the "motherhood mindset" begins to take shape during pregnancy and is created as parents care for their infant in the weeks and months after the birth. Most women find themselves shifting more attention to other women who are more experienced mothers during this time in an effort to find role models for this new identity. Special sections discuss the problems encountered by the new mothers of handicapped and premature babies, who often feel a sense of failure or inability to bond with their child. Other chapters discuss the impact of parenthood on the marriage and the question of juggling career and baby. Throughout, the focus is on the mother's developing sense of self. Brenda Eheart's The Fourth Trimester (Prentice-Hall, 1983) covers similar ground but does not include as much information on marriage and career concerns. In general, this title would be very useful to expectant mothers and is recommended for public libraries serving areas with young families.?Mary Ann Hughes, Neill P.L., Pullman, Wash.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 256 pages
• Publisher: Basic Books (March 6, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0465016219
• ISBN-13: 978-0465016211
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,228,427 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Warm and Informative, January 10, 2001

By 

"black_magic" (Ýstanbul, - Turkey) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Birth Of A Mother: How The Motherhood Experience Changes You Forever (Paperback)

Although written by a man, this book seems to grab the psychology of a pregnant woman quite successfully. The writer asks the accurate questions and enlightens the reader with the detailed and satisfactory answers. This is not a text book though, it is like a complete novel of the journey of becoming a mother. Highly recommended...

9 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A chef d'oeuvre..., July 24, 1998

By 

[e-mail] (Istanbul - Turkey) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Birth Of A Mother: How The Motherhood Experience Changes You Forever (Hardcover)

I bought the book today and I finished it. Sterns did a great job. They explained a highly complex developmental theory very simply for everyone who want to learn something on motherhood. I am psychologist who has been interested in their theory in a very sophisticated way for a very long time but I felt that I learned a lot while reading the book. Everyone should read this 'tour de force' to understand themselves, their mothers, their chilhood, their motherhood and also their 'fatherhood'. Congratulations Nadia and Dan !

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars An amazing book!, October 31, 2004

By 

Esther (Burtonsville, MD United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Birth Of A Mother: How The Motherhood Experience Changes You Forever (Paperback)

If you have any doubts about buying this book, this review is written for you. I read this book in about 1 hour the first time and have read it about four more times since. I loved it! It's truly one of a kind and extremely enlightening. As a new mother, you are overwhelmed with so many thoughts and feelings and this book helps you feel normal and helps you understand yourself in a new way...as a mother!