Birth Order Book, The: Why You Are the Way You Are [Paperback]

Dr. Kevin Leman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2009

Dr. Kevin Leman's ever-popular book on birth order is getting a new look and updated writing. With insight and wit, Dr. Leman offers readers a fascinating and often funny look at how birth order affects personality, marriage and relationships, parenting style, career, and children. Birth order powerfully influences the way people interact with others, whether they're at home or on the job.

This is a great book for anyone who wants to learn more about how they react to their world. Dr. Leman even shows readers how to overcome ingrained tendencies they never thought they'd be rid of, all by focusing on their birth order.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"...sheds light on how our place in the family pecking order endows us with traits that shape us for life." -- Dallas Child, April 1999

"If you’d like to be more successful in all of your relationships, then this book’s for you!" -- Shine, September/October 1999

"Leman frames his discussion within a Christian worldview... Well-written, intriguing." -- Minister’s Packet, December 1998/January 1999 --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From the Publisher

Your birth order -- whether you were born first (or are an only child,) or second, in your family -- powerfully influences what kind of person you are, who you marry, the job you choose. Now you can discover: How to pick out the first born in any group. Why the baby in the family gets away with everything. How to help middle children feel less squeezed and more loved. Ways to overcome your worst inborn tendencies. Which career suits you best. How to make the perfect marriage match and much, much more... You've seen him on television and heard him on the radio. Now internationally known psychologist Kevin Leman reveals an exciting new way to better understand yourself and those you love.

"Forget astrology. The fresh, new karmic aid for picking friends and lovers is birth order... a funny, and sometimes not so funny, look at the effect siblings, or the lack of them, have in shaping a person." -- Chicago Sun-Times --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 352 pages
• Publisher: Revell; 2 Rev Upd edition (October 1, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0800734068
• ISBN-13: 978-0800734060
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 0.9 x 5.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (159 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #10,516 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #8 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Family Relationships > Siblings
  • #56 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Psychology & Counseling > Personality
  • #97 in Books > Self-Help > Relationships > Marriage

More About the Author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including "The View" with Barbara Walters, "The Today Show," "Oprah," CBS's "The Early Show," "Live with Regis Philbin," CNN's "American Morning," and "LIFE Today" with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to "Good Morning America." He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including "The Birth Order Book" and "Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage." Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#60 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#97 in Books > Self-Help

#100 in Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality

#60 in Books > Religion & Spirituality

#97 in Books > Self-Help

#100 in Kindle eBooks > Religion & Spirituality

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

56 of 57 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Wanted to understand my kids, learned about myself too! September 26, 2002

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

I bought this book because I was pregnant with my third, and I wanted to avoid my children falling into the "stereotypical" birth order roles. I no longer feel that my youngest daughter's new middle role is the kiss of death. I learned how to handle my oldest's perfectionist tendancies without causing her to lose heart when things don't go right.

Probably the best thing though, is I learned something about myself (a firstborn) and my husband (a middle child) which has helped us work together in our marriage and in parenting. I also learned how to drop the firstborn critical perfectionism expectations with my children and myself.

My only complaint is that he uses much of the book as an autobiography on his life as the "baby" of the family and also a biography on his children and their roles in his unique family. He does spend alot of time on firstborns and only children- which can be gratifying to those of us in that category- talking about how they can overcome the negatives of their family birth order and the positives of their birth order, including all the wonderful job opportunities that first borns have due to their ingrown leadership skills and sense of responsibility. But he does not do the same for middle's and babies. Leaving them somewhat more of a mystery to me. If he ever redoes the book, I would urge him to give the other birth orders the same in depth review and less about his personal experiences which are definately not general enough for the general audience.

88 of 96 people found the following review helpful

3.0 out of 5 stars Decent presentation May 11, 2004

By Erika Mitchell TOP 500 REVIEWERVINE™ VOICE

Format:Paperback

This book is a general overview of Leman's beliefs about birth order, personality development, and family relationships. It is organized into 5 parts: introduction, first-borns, later-borns, marriage and birth order, and parenting and birth order. At the end of the book are end-note references and a short list of other works by Dr. Leman, as well as his contact information if you would like to schedule him for a speaking engagement.

Leman summarizes his own and others' work on birth order and personality development. He claims that first-borns and only children tend to be well-organized and reliable perfectionists, middle-borns loyal and independent mediators, and last-borns charming and manipulative people persons, and that these characteristics can be traced directly to the family dynamics resulting from the addition of each individual child to the family. He notes that while many readers or attendees to his seminars may be reluctant to go along with these generalizations, he observes that specific birth orders tend to be over-represented in certain professions, such as first-borns as academic architects and last-borns as used car sales people. He notes that first-borns tend to seek professional counseling more often than others because they are such stressed-out perfectionists, and that middle-borns tend to grow up to be relatively well-adjusted (perhaps because they had ample opportunities to learn to deal with unfairness as youngsters). In each of his descriptive chapters, he offers self-help advice for a happier approach to daily life.... He also suggests which birth-order pairs are likely to result in better marital relations, and he provides parenting advice for children specific to their birth orders (drawing heavily from and strongly promoting another of his books entitled Making Your Children Mind So You Don't Lose Yours).

Leman's style of writing in this book is very informal and anecdotal. He doesn't present or acknowledge any specific research findings concerning birth orders and personality. He also gives no consideration to other factors affecting personality development such as genetics or family environmental factors beyond birth order. At the end of many chapters, he brings in a spiritual dimension, but these passages often come across as pasted on, since they are not well integrated with the rest of the text. Despite these flaws, the book is still somewhat informative, and it can provide the general reader a basic understanding of the theory of birth order and its affect on personality development. Read more ›

39 of 40 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Know Who You Know Better and How To Get Along With Others... February 8, 2006

By L. Mullins

Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase

I read this book when I was in college studying to be a teacher and once I was in the classroom with children, I was amazed at how I could figure out the birth order of each child in my classroom within the first week. Years later, I find myself working in Corporate America and the same holds true. No matter our age, gender or race... our birth order truly sets us with a pattern of characteristics that follow us through life and can assist everyone in how to work better with others if you have this knowledge. I think it should be a required reading for anyone in management or customer service as well as anyone who works with children or has even one child. Knowledge is power and better understanding our fellow man is a step towards peace. Give it a try!

47 of 51 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars More Than Just Birth Order January 19, 2000

By A. Holder

Format:Paperback

This is the type of book that makes a lightbulb pop over your head. You will understand yourself more, as well as your family. Leman is funny and extremely down to earth in his writing style (and I love his Christian references). He also includes very sound advice on relating to and parenting certain birth orders. I just finished this book, and I now want to read his "Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours".

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent study October 22, 2000

By Kate Slan

Format:Paperback

My friends get sick of me recommending Dr. Leman's books. Quite frankly, they are all excellent, this one being no exception.

This is an excellent study in birth order psychology, and I would recommend it to anyone. Not only did Dr. Leman's book make me realise I was a perfectionistic FREAK, but it helped me become OK with myself.

Dr. Leman's research is excellent, and his writing style is funny, personal and very easy to read. I have found his conclusions ring true again and again, and I would recommend this book to anyone wishing to learn more about themselves or the people around them.

I have read several of Dr. Leman's books, all of which I would recommend. He is an excellent psychologist and an excellent author.