The Birth Order Connection: Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life [Paperback]

Kevin Leman (Author), Kevin, Dr. Leman (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 2001

Can birth-order mismatches wreck relationships? Leman guides singles and couples in avoiding conflicts and creating true, lasting intimacy.

Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

Does your love life consist of a string of less-than-fulfilling relationships?

Do you think you've found "the one" but aren't quite ready to commit?

In either case, wouldn't you like to know ahead of time if the two of you will work?

Dr. Kevin Leman shows how you can. Using solid, objective criteria, he explains the key to finding the best life mate-birth order! In this book, he describes:

* How birth order has shaped you and the person you're thinking of marrying
* Why opposites attract and what you do need to have in common
* How to find someone who will commit to you
* Ways to build true intimacy with your date
* What to do differently the second time around

No longer will you need to waste your time with incompatible dates, hoping you'll eventually find someone who fits. Instead, learn how to recognize your perfect match and experience love as it's meant to be!

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known psychologist, humorist, best-selling author, and radio and TV personality. He is founder and cohost of realFAMILIES and president of Couples of Promise. The author of The New Birth Order Book and Sex Begins in the Kitchen, Dr. Leman has appeared on The View, Oprah, Today, Good Morning America, and Focus on the Family.

About the Author

Dr. Kevin Leman is a former consulting psychologist for Good Morning America, president of Couples of Promise, and founder and host of RealFAMILIES.com TV. He has appeared on programs such as The View, Oprah, Focus on the Family, and The Today Show. Dr. Leman and his family live in Tucson, Arizona.

Product Details

• Paperback: 223 pages
• Publisher: Fleming H Revell Co; Second Printing edition (October 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 080075784X
• ISBN-13: 978-0800757847
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 10.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 2.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (13 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #591,307 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including "The View" with Barbara Walters, "The Today Show," "Oprah," CBS's "The Early Show," "Live with Regis Philbin," CNN's "American Morning," and "LIFE Today" with James Robison, and he has served as a contributing family psychologist to "Good Morning America." He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman is also a charter faculty member of iQuestions.com. He has written over 30 best-selling books about marriage and family issues, including "The Birth Order Book" and "Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage." Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

45 of 49 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Surprisingly Interesting and Useful, September 13, 2001

By 

mjanke - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Birth Order Connection: Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life (Paperback)

I picked up THE BIRTH ORDER CONNECTION with a bit of skepticism. How can the order of your birth have anything to do with finding the right person to marry? It almost made me want to laugh out loud. A few chapters into the book convinced me I was wrong, and I was hooked. Dr. Leman has laid out a fantastic and pragmatic guidebook of principles and steps based upon the order of your birth that really can help you find a more compatible mate (to achieve, as he amusingly puts it, "couple power").

Leman bases his thesis on the belief that your total family environment, not just your parents, shapes the kind of person you become. Firsts, middles, lasts, and onlies all have certain strengths and weaknesses that are determined by the roles that they have to play with their siblings. As a result, each birth type has a specific, better match with another birth type. Leman would've lost me if he would've played hard and fast with his rules, but he recognizes that their are exceptions. Sometimes, for example, middle children can take on the role of firstborns, depending on age gaps, the sex of the eldest, etc. It's all a bit complicated, but Leman does an excellent job of explaining the details and why it all works. The whole idea of birth order having such an effect on personality development became incredibly intriguing, but we must move on.

So what does this all have to do with relationships? As already stated, Leman believes that each birth position has a better match with another birth position. The strengths of one will counter the weaknesses of another, equaling a better match. Also, understanding birth order can help make relationships and marriages stronger because, as with personality types, to understand birth order is to better understand your spouse. Finally, Leman lays out practical paths to follow in your dating relationships. Asking seven specific questions, for example, can help you determine if you really are compatible with the person you are seeing. Recognizing red flags will help you avoid a life of marital misery. And he lists important reasons to and not to consider when you marry.

I've read quite a few books on relationships. Some are good (BOY MEETS GIRL, BOUNDARIES IN DATING) and some are not so good. THE BIRTH ORDER CONNECTION surprised me by being one of the best. Leman's ideas are not set in stone rules, but they are outstanding principles and guidelines that can help you make wise decisions in choosing someone to be with. Do yourself a favor and pick this one up. It's well worth the ... investment. FIVE STARS.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Interesting but not so objective, March 5, 2003

By A Customer

This review is from: The Birth Order Connection: Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life (Paperback)

The author does a good job describing birth-order tendencies in an approachable way and applying knowledge about these tendencies to marriage. He does take a somewhat subjective approach, basing his conclusions on what he has seen in his marriage counseling practice and his own family, but his assertions ring true (plus the subjective approach makes the book more interesting). The author has some traditional views about dating, but he does not try to hide the fact that they are his personal views. The best thing about reading the book is that it is a fun topic to bring up in just about any conversation. Everyone has a birth order, and everyone knows people who fit the profile for their birth order and people who are exceptions. If you don't read this book, I strongly recommend reading some book on this topic.

13 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars One of the better relationship books, January 28, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Birth Order Connection: Finding and Keeping the Love of Your Life (Paperback)

The Birth Order Connection is by far one of the better relationship books I've ever read. It helps to explain why people are the way they are and it then helps you match your spouse/significant other appropriately. I wish I had read the book years ago ... it would have saved me a lot of time, money and unnecessary heartache.