Birth of Pleasure [Paperback]

Carol Gilligan (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1, 2003

Love, like falling rain, can revive an arid life. But how can we find the love that brings true pleasure? How can we avoid the tragic love, with its lessons of sacrifice and loss, so deeply embedded in our culture? 'Pleasure is a sensation. It is written into our bodies; it is an experience of delight, of joy'. In this inspiring book, Carol Gilligan sets out to create a radical new map of love. Although old patriarchal structures have been challenged the underlying patterns remain: the channeling of boys into 'masculinity'; the anxiety of girls in adolescence, the silences between men and women, the split between our social and our inner voice. In her work with children, adolescents and couples in crisis, Gilligan came to see how this 'double consciousness' - already present in the violence and betrayal of ancient myths, like that of Oedipus - had developed over thousands of years. Hunting for a counter myth, she discovered the story of "Psyche and Cupid", a haunting tale of love and the searching soul, a model of resistance which she uses to frame her quest, showing how joy can be discovered in the heart of pain. "The Birth of Pleasure" rings with the voices of girls and boys, mothers and fathers, lovers and couples and echoes with telling readings of familiar writers, from Greek tragedy to Anne Frank, from Shakespeare to Proust, from Freud to Toni Morrison. All of us will find something that we recognise - and with luck, this brilliant, compassionate, flame-like book could really change our lives.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

A psychologist's fine-tuned ear and a scholar's penchant for illuminating key ideas with precise literary citations enable Carol Gilligan to trace love's path in The Birth of Pleasure. Her extensive research on children's communications and couples in crisis has revealed a rather disturbing truism: a child's inborn ability to love freely and live authentically gets thoroughly squelched by patriarchal structures. She shows how daughters' voices are systematically quieted, sons are shamed into masculinity, and those who pursue "inappropriate" knowledge or rapacious expressions are punished.

At the core of her study lies the timeless myth of Psyche and Cupid, a richly allegorical tale of passion and resistance to patriarchal norms. By meticulously interpreting this triumph, Gilligan challenges the standard "foundational stories" embraced by Western civilization (including the Book of Genesis, Oedipus Tyrannus, and The Orestia). Satisfying excerpts from dozens of authors flow easily alongside Gilligan's dialogues with couples, adolescent girls, and preschool boys. Clearly, her analysis of Anne Frank's diary--all three editions--provides Gilligan's best illustration of one's initiation into patriarchal tunnel vision. She credits many colleagues, students, and seminar and symposium attendees for fleshing out all parts of this lovingly crafted text; but her own ear for truth makes its message resonate. --Liane Thomas --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Library Journal

Called psychology yet drawing on literature from Greek mythology to Shakespeare to Toni Morrison, this book by gender scholar Gilligan considers the path of loveDand pleasureDthrough time.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Random House Pod (August 1, 2003)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0099459612
• ISBN-13: 978-0099459613
• Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.8 x 7.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,602,494 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Re-learn What You Once Knew, March 9, 2004

By 

"vardelphum" (Los Angeles, Ca United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Birth of Pleasure (Paperback)

This is an important book to read for those searching out a deeper understanding of themselves and the role society has played in the development of self-denial.

According to the author, there comes a stage in a child's development (for boys when they are 5 and girls when they are 13 - later for girls cause the patriarchy has no need for women untill they are of birthing age) when they are forced to forget what they know in order to be in relationships. The patriarchy sets up a hierarchy that separates the "father" from children and women - creating a split in relationships but also in ourselves (we lose touch with the internal "father," or at least those characteristics in ourselves that have been deemed "masculine"). When you are a child you do not question your perception of the world or your emotional reactions to it. You instinctively know how to interpret and react to how other people are feeling. But once you reach a certain age, you have to unlearn these things, deny your knowledge in order to fit into the mold the patriarchy has devised as acceptable. In order to be in relationships (within the patriarchy) you have to shut away part of yourself, which raises the question, if you aren't allowed to be yourself within the patriarchy, how real are the relationships you are sacrificing yourself for? And that is the problem - deep down we are all yearning for real connections which we can't have, because none of us are truly being ourselves. And those parts of ourselves we had to deny because the patriarchy deemed them "wrong" (very often our sexuality and creativity) get repressed - we start to see those parts of ourselves as dirty and bad and hate them - hate ourselves. The book says that we need to reclaim these lost gems from our childhood in order to truly know ourselves - and some of what has been repressed might be hard to look at, might be unappealing, but the good stuff far outweighs the bad. The goal should be wholeness (good and bad) not perfection.

*For those that are tired of reading books that rail against the big bad "patriarchy," you will find this book's approach refreshing, as it does not focus on judging men or society, but rather looking at it from a different point of view.

28 of 34 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Deconstruction of the Patriarchy & Map to Find Way Out, July 3, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: The Birth of Pleasure (Hardcover)

Carol Gilligan has transformed our thinking of how adolescents experience their growing up in the modern world. With her new beautifully written and truly brilliant book, she shows the reasons why men start to think about leaving when they truly fall in love, and why it is so hard for everyone to know truly, viscerally, deeply what they know (but what might be painful for self or others to acknowledge fully). Ranging from empirical data, ancient myths, literature, her own life experiences growing up (movingly told with unflinching honesty), and her observations as a therapist, Gilligan eloquently sketches the reasons why the Western tradition has embraced the genre of tragedy to tell stories of love.
This is a complex, challenging, and courageous book. It stands on par with the most daring work of such thinkers as Freud or Darwin, using the author's unusual intelligence to discern unacknowledged truths behind everyday realities.
I could not put it down, and it resonates deeply in the most unexpected contexts. Buy this book; it is not only the birth of pleasure but also a pleasure to think with Gilligan.

20 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST READ-In its Own Class, June 27, 2002

By 

"golnoush" (Los Angeles) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Birth of Pleasure (Hardcover)

Its difficult to summarize this amazing book--I just loved it. Everyone who has read this book has been so touched by it. I was not able to put it down. In this amazing book, Carol Gilligan tells the story of a young woman named Psyche who breaks taboos on seeing and speaking about love. In doing this, she frees herself and Eros or Cupid, her lover, from a tragic love story. The revolutionary implications of Gilligan's work have never been clearer and this book is bound to be attacked.
This is one of those rare books that will change the way you see the world.
Her telling of the Psyche and Cupid myth is brilliant and original. Once again,Gilligan is right on the edge, where artists always are. Everyone will be able to relate to many parts of this book. This is a must read book.