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You Can't Come to My Birthday Party! Conflict Resolution With Young Children Paperback – January 2, 2002

ISBN-13: 978-1573791595 ISBN-10: 1573791598 Edition: 1st

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 432 pages
  • Publisher: High/Scope Press; 1 edition (January 2, 2002)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1573791598
  • ISBN-13: 978-1573791595
  • Product Dimensions: 9.9 x 6.9 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 2 pounds
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #293,683 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful By Eric West on October 2, 2009
Format: Paperback
I read this book during my first year of teaching preschool. It's lengthy, and you've got to really read it-- if you browse, you'll miss key ideas. But oh, is it worth it.

If you find yourself watching John grab Alice's shovel, Alice come crying to you, you go over to John and you explaining to John that he can't just take things, and then taking the shovel and giving it to Alice, problem solved... yet somehow knowing that something isn't quite right, this is the book for you. It turns the children into the problem solvers with you as the mediator.

When you finish the book you will have a very clear idea of how you can go about implementing the ideas. When you start, the ground you are on might be a little bumpy, for you will have to gain student trust. Another teacher might even interrupt you and "take over," telling you "it isn't working." But from first hand experience, I can tell you that in a matter of weeks, when students realize that you are there to "help solve the problem" and not to punish, they will be much more receptive and start to solve problems on their own.

I liked this book because it tells you exactly what to do and walks you through scenarios again and again. For someone willing to learn, this book will teach.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Carol R. Murray on May 28, 2010
Format: Paperback
I have become a big fan of Betsy Evan's work with conflict resolution. Her work is based in real life examples - so relevant and immediately helpful to those of us working in early childhood. Her new book, You're Not My Friend Anymore, is great too. Both books demonstrate a profound understanding of childhood development and help us understand why children behave as they do and why their behavior is often miss-understood by adults. I love the combination of real life practical examples with intelligent depth of thought that makes this work AMAZING and so important. Check out her website -google her work with kids and conflict. As a teacher with 20 years experience, I find her work refreshing and invigorating. She supports fostering children's social competence is such a genuine way - allowing children to become problem solvers themselves. Her approach not only validates the emotional life of children,but also lifts up our profession as early childhood educators. It really shows how complicated and dynamic early childhood development is and how thoughtful and present adults who teach young children well must be.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By CutePetal on February 25, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I used this extensively during my 3rd year research assignment for a Bachelor of Teaching: Early Childhood. It was fantastic! So many wonderful ideas, helpful bits for teachers and real life stories of how to implement things in the classroom. Fabulous buy! So worth the exchange rate and 6 week wait for it to come around the world :)
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I love this book. It serves as a wonderful guide to help children learn to solve conflict on their own instead of jumping in for them. It helps gives adults concrete ideas about how to guide children to problem solve vs. swooning in and fixing it for them.

Worth the purchase!
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By Lindsey M. on February 15, 2012
Format: Paperback
This is BY FAR the best thing I have purchased since I began teaching pre-school aged children. Within in 2 days of implementing the steps in this book there has been so much more harmony in my classroom. Of course nothing is perfect, nothing works 100% of the time but this is close. I even heard one child, one that prompted me to buy this book, say to a child she usually teased and argued with "Your invited to my birthday party, everyone in the class is."!! What a fantastic moment as a teacher. I believe in treating children with respect and listening to their problems but as a young teacher all the tricks I new were coming up short and the fighting would start again as soon as I walked away. By following Evan's mediation steps I have heard my children trying to solve problems without coming to me and some know to calmly come to me when they need help. Every teacher, aide, educator and parent who works with pre-school aged children should own and read this! Yes it is hard work but it is 100% worth it!
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