Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories [Hardcover]

Merry Bloch Jones (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1993

Each year up to 100,000 women in the U.S. surrender babies for adoption and become "birthmothers." In this book, more than 70 of these women tell of their experiences--heart-wrenching stories that will inform, fascinate, and deeply affect everyone who reads them.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Often revealing their experiences for the first time, 72 American mothers who gave up their babies answered questionnaires and participated in in-depth interviews with sociologist Jones ( Step Mother ) for this searching study. Although their ages and backgrounds vary widely, almost all of the mothers, the author notes, share regrets about their decision to relinquish their babies, with a majority reporting troubled marriages. Most traumatized among those interviewed were teenagers too young to have a voice in the decision to surrender the baby, or who felt stigmatized by illegitimacy. Sixty percent of those who gave up a baby to adoption agencies that "seal" records later sought to locate their children. A chapter titled "Finding, Winning and Losing" sums up the obstacles to establishing intimacy after reunion, and discusses relationships between birth parents and adoptive parents. First serial to New Woman.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

In a well-written, compelling narrative, Jones tells the poignant stories of over 70 birthmothers whose babies have been adopted. These adoptions took place from the 1950s until the 1980s, and the mothers came from a variety of backgrounds. Their stories add much to the anecdotal study of adoption and unwanted pregnancies, particularly their reflections on society's attitudes. Although this compelling book adds much to our anecdotal knowledge, the author's conclusions must be interpreted with caution, especially because relatively few birthmothers were interviewed (a nonrandom sample from the approximately six million birthmothers in the United States) and they cover so many eras and backgrounds. Jones acknowledges that the book is about some , not all, birthmothers. Recommended for public and undergraduate libraries.
- Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, Md.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 296 pages
• Publisher: Chicago Review Pr; 1st edition (November 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1556521928
• ISBN-13: 978-1556521928
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.2 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,359,299 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am a birthmother, January 5, 1999

By 

[e-mail] (Arlington, Texas) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories (Paperback)

I just last night finished this book. It is one of the best I have read so far. In some places of this book which I underlined or marked it was as if I myself wrote it. I felt alot of the things described and still do. I am a birthmother of 2 daughters from the 70's so I lived in the era that condemned, shamed and lied to us. It is a relief knowing it was NOT me who had all this happen to all alone that there are hundreds of thousands of other women. We birthmothers need to know we are not alone anymore. I highly recommend not only birthmothers to read this but adoptees and adoptive mothers as well. We all in this triad need to learn to feel for each other and understand each others pain. But most of all our adoptees need to be put first. They must no more be made to feel ashamed of who they are, they didn't ask to be adopted did they? PLEASE no one flame me for my opinion here! After all I am human and have a heart.

22 of 23 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The best book I've read so far with research on Birth Moms!, August 30, 2001

By 

P. Henderson (Amherst, NY United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories (Paperback)

I wasn't so sure how useful I would find this book since it's about closed adoption birth mothers (and doesn't include research on semi-open or open adoption birth mothers.) However I found that so many things in the book apply to ALL birth mothers!! I especially think the author did a GREAT job talking about the depth of grief and life long effects it has on birth mothers. I haven't read a book on adoption yet that even comes close to being as accurate as this book is on the subject of birth mother grief and pain! Highly recommend this book for ALL members of the Adoption "triad"!

20 of 21 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A painful and compassionate eye-opener, September 5, 2003

By 

Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Birthmothers: Women Who Have Relinquished Babies for Adoption Tell Their Stories (Paperback)

This is a beautifully written and valuable book for our understanding of birthmothers who describe experiences in both closed and open adoptions. Many have grieved; others have felt relief; a number have entirely repressed their emotions. Regardless of what they think about relinquishment, many continue to struggle with the emotional effects of suppressing their maternal drive in the form of rage, frustration, sorrow, guilt, and self-doubt. Many birthmothers emphasized that reunion was not a cure for the regrets, angers, or grief they faced after relinquishing. The author writes that 'even in mutually rewarding reunions, most birthmothers experienced profound sensations of loss.' Yes, I understand this feeling because I have personal experience with the birthmother of our daughter. Relinquishment occurred in 1969, when the baby was 4 days old and 28 years later our birthmother found us. Today, we love one another and our daughter has a cordial relationship with her birthmother, but our birthmother is facing the terrible reality that her grown daughter, now a mother herself, is not the needy little baby she had relinquished and a late mother-child relationship is impossible. 'Even reunions can't make it right.'
I recommend this book to everyone, not just to members of the adoption triad. It is a book about humanity.
Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?