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132 of 139 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Different Kind of Chick Flick
Oh yes, "Bitch Slap" is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It's being billed as, "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s - 70s," but the truth is it gives us little to think about, and I'm hard pressed to say that it...
Published on January 16, 2010 by Chris Pandolfi

versus
3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars B-MOVIE AND LOVING IT
No, that doesn't mean I loved this movie. It means that the movie revels in being a B-movie and strives to fulfill every expectation of one in less than 2 hours. In many ways it succeeds and in others not quite. But for fans of exploitation films, you'll get a kick out of BITCH SLAP.

The story is fairly simple, though it becomes more and more complicated as the...
Published on March 14, 2010 by Mark Turner


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132 of 139 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Different Kind of Chick Flick, January 16, 2010
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This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
Oh yes, "Bitch Slap" is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It's being billed as, "a post-modern, thinking man's throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s - 70s," but the truth is it gives us little to think about, and I'm hard pressed to say that it reexamines modern assumptions of culture, identity, and language. It does, however, open with a Joseph Conrad quote: "The belief in a supernatural source of evil is not necessary; men alone are quite capable of every wickedness." We see the word "men" and automatically think it's a blatant anti-male message. But by the end of the film, it's made abundantly clear that women are just capable of being wicked. Equality through evil. Funny.

This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who's on medication. She's one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.

Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them - a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There's never a moment when they aren't wearing high heels or don't have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it's burning hot, and ... is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That's about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And did I mention the catfights?

Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. "Many believe Pinky's a phantom," says Camero. "Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil." Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?

When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it's being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive. And just wait until you hear of her tryst with a sideshow contortionist. Let's also consider the director, Rick Jacobson; he's currently at work on the new "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" television series and has been involved with "She Spies," "Cleopatra 2525," "Batwatch," "La Femme Nikita," "Hercules: The Legendary Journeys," and "Xena: Warrior Princess." The last two are noteworthy because Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O'Connor all have cameos in "Bitch Slap." Or maybe they aren't noteworthy at all. Whatever.

This movie is, essentially, a cross between an erotic photo shoot and a silly crime caper, one that has been fed into a low-tech special effects mill. And I suppose that's why I had fun watching it. While I ultimately have no good reason for recommending it, you have to admit, there is something infectious about a movie that actively tries to be bad. I'm reminded of an often repeated Pauline Kael quote: "Movies are so rarely great art that if we cannot appreciate great trash, we have very little reason to be interested in them." "Bitch Slap" is, indeed, great trash, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory. Fellas, this is your lucky day.
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42 of 47 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars "Die Hard with ovaries!", March 2, 2010
This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
Leaping back and forth between the present and anywhere from a few hours to multiple weeks in the past, Bitch Slap introduces us to our triumvirate of heroines first via their low-cut costumes for short hand: bad-ass biker bitch Camaro, `40s femme fatale Hel and bimbo stripper Trixie. As the opening credits attest, this is first and foremost an unapologetic exploitation movie, so each woman is filmed first at chest level, followed by a tilt up to the perfectly made-up faces. The shorthand established, the movie then has fun playing with the viewer's expectations from there on out.

Pulling up in a muscle car, our heroines yank open the truck to reveal mid-level gangster Gage (played by Hercules star Michael Hurst), bloody and nearly naked in silk robe and banana hammock. They're out in the desert, near a run down trailer, and demand he reveal the location of his hidden storehouse of ill-gotten treasures. When a badly-timed bullet prevents his confession, the girls are forced to dig, shovels in hand and impractical shoes on pedicured feet. As the story moves forward, we jump back and slowly learn how they got to this point in time. All the double-dealings, back-stabbings, assaults, murders and insane associates that led them to this desert. Each flashback brings a new height of lunacy until, by the end, the movie is almost saying "Oh, you bought that one, did you? How about this?"

Bitch Slap throws everything at you. Every exploitational fetish is represented: Japanese Schoolgirls (in the form of the lethal yo-you-weilding psycho "Kinky"), cat fights (multiple and increasingly vicious), lesbian interludes (all three leads have complicated history with each other), nuns (which includes hilarious cameos by Xena stars Renee O'Connor and Lucy Lawless), strippers, cat burglars, sexy super-spies, women-in-prison set pieces--not a Russ Meyer stone left unturned. Around all this we have international intrigue, a diamond heist, illegal arms dealing, explosions, mysterious policemen and a shadowy villain cut from Keyser Soze cloth who goes by the name of "Pinky". Keeping up with the plot is less strenuous than keeping up with the twists. But the movie makes it easy for you by never, at any time, taking itself seriously.

Directed by Rick Jacobson and produced and written by Jacobson and Eric Grundenmann (billed during the opening credits as "Poets Laureate"), Bitch Slap asks you to swallow great gulps of perverse cinematic guilty pleasure. From the over-wrought opening shot of a bloody Trixie, in her destroyed gold cocktail dress, looking up from a smoking crater asking "How did it come to this?" we are told that Bitch Slap is a comic book. The multiple (but surprisingly not overused) split screen sequences serve as reminders. The flashbacks, too, shot in Sin City stylized set pieces, are reminders too. As if the incredibly over-the-top characters weren't enough! By the end of the movie's 90 minute running time, depicting explosive violence along the Las Vegas strip, all the viewer can do is throw disbelief to the wind and just hang on.

But if Bitch Slap was merely eye-candy, merely a female version of Shoot `em Up, then there wouldn't be much to recommend it beyond its obvious thrills. What's neat about this movie is the underlying message that women can be as sexy, dangerous, sensitive, sensual, vicious and violent as their male crime-action counterparts. They're not the ornaments in this film, the men are. And the men who think they're coming to the girls' rescue find out right away that they're the ones needing rescuing. It's a nice change of pace, even if that's as deep as the message goes. It's just refreshing to see women taking charge, firing the ludicrous machine guns and performing the physics-defying stunts. Even better, as opposed to the Andy Sidaris genre of girls-and-guns, we get a good idea of who these women are as people rather than tropes. Sure, they're people from a pulp fiction world, but within the limits of that world, they are human beings.

What many might find as the ultimate surprise is the (almost) complete lack of nudity. While all three of our leads get down and dirty with each other and a goodly number of their co-stars, their much-referred-to naughty bits are covered throughout, even if just barely.

In case the casting isn't enough of a give-away, incidentally, most of the cast and crew had worked together on both Hercules and Xena: Warrior Princess. Furthering the fun is Zoe Bell providing the fight choreography and "doubling for everybody" (look fast for her during a two-woman street rumble during a flashback). As the three anti-heroines, Erin Cummings and America Olivo (as Hel and Camaro) steal the show with knowing odes to Barbara Stanwyck and Tura Satana, respectively, while Julia Voth as Trixie, stripper-with-a-heart-of-gold-and-a-dark-secret portrays slow-to-the-going sweetness. None of the three are afraid to get physical--in all sense of the word--and remain both tough, dangerous and appealing throughout, even while playing with the viewer's sympathies. The rest of the cast is fun, but largely incidental. William Gregory Lee playing Hot Wire, a punk with facial scars and severe Tourettes was a personal favorite, but make no mistake--Bitch Slap is about the ladies, not about Kevin Sorbo's (or any of the other) cameos. Those are the candy flowers on this already over-loaded decadent cake. Guns, swords, grenades, fetishized vehicles, microscopic skirts, spraying blood, every action trope stuffed to bursting in one single film.

One colleague of mine referred to this movie as "Steel Magnolias with balls," but I have to respectfully disagree. Bitch Slap is Die Hard with ovaries.
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22 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Chick Flick for guys, February 19, 2010
This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
The most anticipated and hyped up B-Movie ever. All three women were doing interviews everywhere for many many websites, they have videos on youtube. 3 of the most fun loving attractive women you'll see.

After months and almost a whole year delaying the release BitchSlap is finally here and it is what you would expect from a B movie, but just a little better.

Julia Voth and Erin Cummings create one of the most talked about girl/girl scenes. probably will go down as one of the most popular B Movies ever.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars That was unexpectedly excellent., March 21, 2010
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This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
I'm not exactly sure what I was expecting when I rented Bitch Slap, besides of course beautiful women romping around in inappropriate clothing, which I got in abundance, but I sure wasn't expecting to enjoy this movie as much as I did. Nor did I expect such an in-depth, amusing, and unusually long "making of" special feature. I certainly wasn't expecting some of the candid reveals the heroines give in their voice-over (1 of 2 excellent audio commentary tracks). And I sure never expected to then rush out and buy this modern-day homage to the sexploitation films of my youth, but it was so fun I couldn't resist.

Bitch Slap is by no means perfect. Its very low budget meant the makers had to live with some scene continuity issues that a more flush production would have fixed. The green screen work was at times painfully obvious, but I personally found that it added to the overall and over the top camp the film embraced. Some will disagree. Some might also be disappointed with an almost complete lack of nudity (there is a half-second blip of a nipple in a bar scene), but on this topic I think Slap's creators were spot on. The lack of nudity is much like the fabled Persian Flaw - a purposeful mar introduced so as not to offend the gods with man-made perfection. The female leads are so gorgeous, frankly, that had they bared all I would still be watching that movie. I'm sure the producers wanted to avoid lawsuits involving >4hour erectile issues. Also, and I mean this with all sincerity, Bitch Slap is not a bad date movie. Add nudity, however, and your female friend goes from thinking "I totally want to be that kick-ass chick" to "e[...] porn".

To be clear, Bitch Slap is first and foremost a movie about hot women in skimpy clothes being bad-asses. If that doesn't sound like your cup of tea, well... I feel a little sorry for you and you should probably skip this movie. If, on the other hand, you're looking for a movie that actually manages to pay loving tribute to the sexploitation genre without itself being just another bad, B-movie then this is a must see.

My only real complaint, and it's actually quite a big one, is that Bitch Slap does not seem to be available in Blu-Ray. For a movie that is in almost every sense of the word, beautiful, that I can't be watching the greatest cat-fight in history on Blu-Ray hi-def is a crime. Of course, what I'm really grumpy about is that I'm going to be buying this movie twice when the Blu-Ray version does come out.

Oh well. Life's a Bitch.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars BEAUTIFUL WOMEN & EXTREME CHEESE, April 5, 2010
By 
Chris Kennison (Jefferson City, Mo United States) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   
This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
Renter/Buyer beware. This movie will either absolutely ROCK if you like this sort of thing, or absolutely SUCK if you don't. The creators of BITCH SLAP leave no doubts to their intention and first and foremost, if you don't appreciate the female form, or are offended by gratuitous and pointless shots of various female parts, then avoid this like the plague. If you're not offended by this, then what are you waiting for.

BITCH SLAP is a refreshing throwback to movies that I grew up on, with a little bit of modern cinema thrown in. These guys probably spent a couple thousand dollars making the film, used green screens (which adds to the cheese) and probably spent all their production stress in the casting of three jaw droppingly beautiful women. Julia Voth, Erin Cummings & America Olivo.

I had almost given up on Hollywood and their ability to make movies that are just plain 'in your face' sexy and interesting to watch. I get so tired of 60% of movies being placed on the video shelves these days being horror movies and slasher flicks. They're all the same. They all have the same plot and course of action. Yet, they outnumber other films almost 2 to 1.

BITCH SLAP is endlessly interesting and sexy as hell. Although it is very tastefully done. It doesn't take much from a beauty like Julia Voth to keep your eyes from leaving the screen.

BITCH SLAP is an aquired taste and may not be for everyone. Yet, if you like beautiful women, cat fights, guns, more cat fights and more guns, then BITCH SLAP won't disappoint. For this reviewer, it's a repeat viewer and gives me faith that at least somebody out there still wants to make movies that are just plain fun to watch and sheer eye candy.
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12 of 15 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A [Straight] Woman's Review, October 3, 2010
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This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
So, the T'n'A and blood'n'guts were not my main reasons for watching this. Shocking! In fact, I wasn't sure I wanted to watch it until I saw that one of the most common 'negative' reviews was: "where's the nudity?!"

I laughed so hard during this film, more than I have in a long time. It's so over the top, so much camp and cheese. Brilliantly stupid, with action and style a la Tarantino and Sin City. There is actually quite a bit to 'think about' with this movie, as long as you're not distracted by all the boobage. Maybe not deep philosophical thinking, but I had plenty to think about. ...And the boobage is totally [deliberately] distracting, I have to say. It's hilarious. In any other movie I would just be annoyed, probably even angry. In this, I laughed. It is so...gleefully excessive, and cheekily self-aware.

If you're looking for a porn movie, go elsewhere. If you're looking for another Citizen Kane, keep looking. But If you just want to be entertained, give this a shot. Don't take it seriously.
If you're offended by scantily-clad women...then why on Earth are you even reading the reviews - didn't you look at that cover??
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17 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Kick-Ass Ride!, February 26, 2010
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This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
BITCH SLAP is a kick in the teeth, a slap on the face and a spank on the ass. Seriously. A clever homage to exploitation movies of old, dragged kicking and screaming into the 21st century, it always remembers to be a sexy, funny and crazy ride. And they really do deliver the "greatest chick fight in cinema history." And the greatest wet t-shirt gratuitous-fest. And dialogue so over the top, your lips are numb. And women so beautiful, it's hard to believe they weren't designed in some secret government laboratory somewhere.

What's not to love???
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FUN FUN FUN!!!, July 4, 2010
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This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
This is a movie that shouldn't be taken seriously, which was the exact intent of the people who put it together. Just a kick back popcorn flick involving hot women with guns, and it's also funny! Camero has the best lines in the movie and the woman who plays Hel, Erin Cummings, should definitely play Wonder Woman. She's got the face, the body and the acting chops.

I'm old enough to have been to real grindhouses and this movie fits in right with those old flicks, except unlike Tarintino's grindhouse film, this movie doesn't seek to recreate the grindhouse film, it simply IS a Grindhouse film.
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6 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars T & A HOMMAGE, March 21, 2010
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This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
From one of the producers of the 'Hercules' and 'Xena' Television series of the 90's comes this hilarious, over the top hommage to 'B' movie babes from the early silent screen to the present. The movie relentlessly assaults the senses through flashbacks, split screen images, and a powerhouse music soundtrack,to keep the viewer from catching a breather. Naturally, you will see 'Quentin Tarantino' nuances but the hard core viewer will see tributes to 'Russ Meyer', 'Jack Hill' and even 'Jess Franco' to keep this wonderful stew brewing. Cameos by 'Kevin Sorbo' and 'Lucy Lawless' and even 'Hercules' sidekick 'Michael Hurst' enhance the proceedings. Highly recommended to every fan who loves bitch slapping tough babes from 'Tura Satana' to 'Pam Grier'. You'll probably need a shower after the film concludes.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars "Why don't you just let Miss 'gland canyon' defend herself?", May 2, 2010
By 
Rykre "The Rogue Scholar" (of the vast Western Dystopian Wasteland) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Bitch Slap (Unrated) (DVD)
That's just one of the many great lines between these girls. I had the hardest time writing a review for this film because I tried to say things about the movie "which were true" but was deemed too tasteless and unprintable for readers of this movie's review. I guess I've said too many dirty-minded comments. Heh-heh! So, I'll try a different approach to critiquing this film.

This is cleavage, legs, sex, drugs, rock and roll, blood, sweat, tears, guns, nuns, swords, and even a flying guillotine yo-yo. So, this is definitely a man's eye-candy fantasy of girls and violence all in one movie.

Three hot babes: Hel, Camero, and Trixie. The story kinda plays backwards as nearly every scene that plays out, ends up being presented by a flashback so that you will understand things as you go forward. Personally, I didn't really care much about the story anyway. Too me, it just all looks good on the screen. Hel is kinda the business woman type, and Trixie is the nightclub dancer in a trashy dress, but to me, it's Camero that steals the show. She's absolutely gorgeous, and very high strung and violent as she pop pills when she's already mad as hell, which makes her even more psychotic and fun to watch. Remember, this is just a bunch of exaggerated effects which adds to the fun of watching it. Plus, you get to watch and hear a lot of bone-crunching fists fights between the girls. What a great way to enjoy a few good beers with the fellas on a party night!

There are some scenes in this film which are pretty campy, which was probably done as an homage to the B-movie genre of the 1960's and 1970's. But, that's part of the fun. You don't want to try to take this movie too seriously, because it wasn't meant to be. It's just a movie about three hot babes fighting, cussing, sweating, love-making, and the such just to tease it's male attentive audience who are watching the film.

Either you will love this movie because you understand its intentions, or you will hate it because you wanted more of a tangible story. If you want a story, hell, go read a book!

I say, get some beer, and have the boys over and get ready to be slapped! You're going to love it!

By the way, this movie is available on Blu-Ray in Canada. Go to Amazon.com Canada (you'll see the link below).
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Bitch Slap (Unrated)
Bitch Slap (Unrated) by Julia Voth (DVD - 2010)
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