Customer Reviews

Biting the Apple: Women Getting Wise About Love

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

This book integrates the best of the traditional and macho roles for women. The how's and why's to be independent and the freedom it gives you to enjoy love and life. This book describes the various stages women go through as they grow and mature in a way that makes it easy to determine where you are. Then it describes, gives examples, and scenarios of how a women who loves more and needs less refocuses, reframes, and responds. I wondered if I made the right but tough decision to leave a relationship. The description of a poisonous situation confirmed my decision even though the situation seemed innocuous to outsiders and at times to me. A woman so touch with her life creates very positive and affirming way of living for everyone around her. It is not easy to be such a person but this is a model worth emulating.

"...there is a middle ground that works in favor of love without working against ourselves. That middle ground is a new point of balance between loving and needing." ~ pg. 90

"Biting the Apple" has nothing to do with temptation and everything to do with making a choice to love. In the first chapter, Judith Sills' erratic writing style is distracting as she occasionally goes off into amusing yet realistic tirades. She starts to make more sense by the second chapter and then for the rest of the book seems stuck on one topic: "love more, need less." This in itself is good advice for women who are too needy. As she says: "love is about giving, whereas need focuses on receiving."

If you love someone enough will they really change? This book does not give much hope in that directions. Instead, Judith Sills encourages the reader to love men as they are, to stop trying to change men. She explains how you can look at any situation more realistically by refocusing, reframing and responding differently.

Is your man really ignoring you as he peers into his newspaper or is he merely exercising his right to do something he really wants to do at that moment. This book would have been more helpful if the author would have explained that men need "down time" when they first get home from work.

Throughout "Biting the Apple," Judith Sills seems to be seeking a balance between feminism (I don't need a man) and a more traditional view (I need a man). If you are stuck in an unhappy relationship this book might frustrate you. The advice seems at times to absolve men from any responsibility. It seems that a woman who acts like nothing is wrong (keeps loving despite the negative situation) would start to feel a great deal of resentment.

For some women the advice in this book will be a huge reality check, while for others the advice could lead to greater freedom. There are no guarantees but for some women the advice in this book may at least make them responsible for their own happiness. My problem with this book is that it is almost completely lacking in ideas for solving major complications. The advice is merely to love more (unconditionally) or to leave (in the case of abuse).

To be honest I think you would be better off reading books about how men think. Here are a few items that will help your relationship:

Cracking the Communication Code: The Secret to Speaking Your Mate's Language

How to Get Your Husband to Talk to You

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

For Women Only: What You Need to Know about the Inner Lives of Men

The New Physics of Love: The Power of Mind & Spirit in Relationships (Six Cassettes and Study Guide Box Set)

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

~The Rebecca Review

Great book, good condition. Shipped fast. Lots of good information on how to go about perceiving & creating a mature relationship. Focus on ourselves, rather than our partners is the key.

The seller was fast, I had the book right away. I was very happy with this seller.