Customer Reviews

Black Dahlia

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(33)

 

 

I cannot believe ANYONE would waste money concocting this really awful movie. If it cost more than 50 cents to make, then that was too much.

The Black Dahlia case is one of the more mysterious, unsolved cases in america.... and a very intriguing one at that.

I haven't see DePalma's new version yet. However, the best version I have viewed so far was the one with Lucie Arnaz. Hard to find, made for TV, but a good one.

Don't waste even one minute of your time on this one. If I could, I would have given it '0' stars.

If you are looking at this page it probably means you are thinking of picking up this movie because you think it is the Black Dahlia movie directed by Brian DePalma, based of James Ellroy's novel of one of America's great unsolved murders. But this isn't it. This is a straight-to-DVD piece of dreck rush-released to capitalize on the other movie's publicity machine.

This film has only a shirt-tail relationship to the one you think you're getting. It has the production values of somebody's holiday films on Super-8 film, with harsh lighting, jarring music, shoddy special effects, and a storyline held together by saliva and baling twine. Nothing happens, and nothing happens, and just when you think you're getting to the climax, nothing happens.

The director of this film, Ulli Lommel, has made a series of movies based loosely on famous murderers over the last two years, each of which has had a production schedule that lasts about as long as it takes for the flavor to go out of my gum. If the actors in this film are wise, they will cut this production out of their CV, kill it with a nine-pound hammer, and bury it in a shallow grave.

This movie is an opportunistic piece of drivel. It is a pimple on the movie industry, a leech sucking on Brian DePalma's good name, and a waste of your money. When Gene Siskel would review a movie he would ask himself, "How is this film better than a documentary of the same actors having lunch?" Well, Gene, I have found the first movie that is actually worse than a documentary of the same actors drinking cyanide through a straw.

Put simply, I have sat through some bad movies. I have sat through some movies that were so filthy they made me need to take a shower. I have sat through some movies that were an appalling waste of my time and left me feeling just a little less human at the end. But this is the absolute worst movie I have ever seen. Spare yourself and learn from my misery. Do not watch this movie.

Well, we rented this originally thinking it was the version with Scarlett Johannsen that came out recently. The guy at the movie rental place warned us at checkout that this one was a different version, but we decided to try it out anyway, since sometimes it is interesting to see different perspectives of the same idea.

After watching the movie, I have to say this is probably the worst movie I have ever seen. Like other reviewers, I think this movie should be rated a "0", but since "1 star" is the lowest rating you can give, that is what it gets. It looks like something someone put together for their high school or college drama class. I have never seen such bad acting outside of a porno movie. I forced myself to watch it to the end in the hopes that it would eventually get better or have some redeeming quality, but alas - nothing.

The cinematagrophy looked very much like someone making home movies. There wasn't enough character development to really make you feel much for the characters. They repeated many of the same shots over and over again. After seeing the first person tortured and cut into pieces, I really didn't need to see that 5 times - it just got really boring. They would have been better off using a little inuendo and spending that extra time to develop the plot a little more. You never really got a true sense of what the motivation of the characters were. The guy that played the young cop in the movie was the only one that gave a half-way believable performance.

In summary, this movie stinks, and is not even worth renting. Believe the reviews - it is THAT bad. I really can't believe that a movie studio would even pay for such crap - It does really make me think that they just put it out there hoping lots of un-knowing consumers would buy or rent it thinking it was the other version of the movie.

I am very easily entertained and can find something good to say about most movies. This movie however, could possibly be the worst movie I have ever seen. In all fairess, I couldn't make it through the whole thing as it was just too terrible. I could have made a better movie on my camcorder. Please trust the reviewers on this one and stay away! I wish I would have.

There was a fine actor/director who worked with the late great

Rainer Werner Fassbinder by the name of ulli lommel - could this truly

be the same man who directed this piece of trash? If so i hope it was just for the money - at least i could understand that..

this is even bad by horror movie standards.. I know the man who starred in 'love is colder than death' is capable of more than this (if it is the same person).

This movie is HORRIBLE! Bad story line, really really bad acting, the camera work is worse than most home movies (couldn't they get a professional cameraman?)

The only reason I even saw this movie, was that my wife rented it for me THINKING this was the OTHER "Black Dahlia" movie recently released. When she brought it home I thought that this was about the murder of Elizabeth Short. I was wrong and I feel that Ulli Lommel is a cheap huckster ripping people off! He has made a film that has NOTHING to do with the real Black Dahlia, he is stealing the title of another movie and should be sued for copyright violation.

I just bought this DVD and watched it tonight.

Oh God, this is again one of the most rubbish movie I have ever seen!!!

I am still wondering if it is really a movie or someone is joking, wasting negatives just to make fools out of viewers like us by this experimental garbage...

There is nothing in this garbage movie, silly, pointless, senseless, confusing, especially the shots they used make you dizzy.

The movie is hard-selling nothing but blood and body-parts in a meaningless way, I seldom use the "hate" word, but I hate this movie.

Please note that I actually wanted to give "0" star but since there is no such option.

We are being tortured and ripped of money above all!!!

STAY AWAY!!!

Ulli Lommel's Black Dahlia: 7 out of 10. No the score is not a misprint. Yes I'm going to have to use the entire review to explain this grievous lack of judgment.

First of all this is not the studio release of Black Dahlia. This is a Z budget rip off with decent cover art. Second this is an Ulli Lommel movie who I swear is Uwe Boll's uncle and one of the worst directors working in sub-par serial killer films today. (His Zodiac Killer was one of the worst films I've seen this year) He and his trusty 1985 camcorder have been shoveling out serial killer movies the last few years and he apparently has some compromising pictures of Lion's Gate executives because they keep releasing them.

Half the cast is unnecessary, the drunken cop is over the top and one of the main bad guys is Anna Nicole Smith's first husband. The Saw rip-off directing style and three sets location are horrible.

So why the positive score? Somewhere in the first twenty minutes or so the movie becomes so bad it actually becomes good. There is something ridiculously appealing about vivisection, bondage and catholic school girl uniforms mixed in with swing music. Now read that last sentence again if that doesn't appeal to you run far and fast. There is nothing else to see here so keep moving.

Also in the films favor is that the acting isn't so bad it grates on the nerves. (A real risk with zero budget films) The gore scenes are plentiful and done in a Monty Python over the top style. The ladies are somewhat attractive and actually look like real people. (I don't think this was a naturalistic touch by Lomell I just think he couldn't afford better looking plastic woman.) The soundtrack is an excellent combination of catchy monk style classical (think the Conan soundtrack) and 40's style pop tunes. When a pigtailed catholic schoolgirl and two masked guys dance around with severed limbs to a Sinatra tune you simply can't wipe the smile off my face. That's why I liked it. Excuse me while I go seek some help.

Black Dhalia.

This is a blatant case of cashing in on someone else's coattails. A reviewer below made that point. I find it 100% accurate. It duped me. Luckily it was just a rental.

After I realized this wasn't what I thought I decided to get my money out of it and watch it to the end. People, its as bad as previous reviewers state. Its not bad its awful.

First we have camcorder 101. It feels like a home movie. I understand that its going to realism. It doesn't work.

Second, acting is terrible. This simply has to be one of the worst cast movies I've ever seen. Right down from the catholic whackjob girl who cusses at every woman her henchmen cut up to the cops.

It simply does not draw you in. You feel like you're watching a concept movie instead of a real thing.

The story is simple. The last man to see the Black Dahlia alive is still alive. His daughter/caretaker runs a family "side" business so he can relive his best moments before he dies. Thats it. Oh, and during the movie you see a bunch of severed limbs and screaming just for good measure.

No surprises, not real connection to the viewer. Avoid this one. Its a shameless cash in on the "other" film of the same name. Look for Ulli Lommel's name. If you see it - put it down.

You'll thank all of us.

This one is sitting in a landfill someplace. I didn't even finish watching it. I don't know why anyone would have released this bit of trash. Is so far removed from the actual Black Dahlia case that if it wasn't for the title, no one would know it is supposed to have a connection. Bad acting and the film work was worse than any home movie I have seen. Save yourself the time and the money, take a pass on this.