Customer Reviews

Blades [VHS]

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This man eater will surely suck you into the comforts of your seat. Squirming for protection as each Golfer is chased by a Vengeful Power Mower that has no time or inclination to talk to you about it's personal problems. So, sit back, make sure your relaxed and prepare yourself to enjoy a true snipping, snapping, biting, chewing, power tool with a mind of it's own...

Have you ever wondered why their weren't more horror films made based around golf? Well that would be because the only one ever made blows so haaaaaaard. This movie seriously made Sid want to smash his computer in with his new graphite driver. The premise alone had us wondering why on earth we were even going to bother, but then became inspired by our recent hilarious trip to Colonial Terrace. Southern Sid came up to visit Northern Sid to have the typical fantastic day filled with golf, brew, Al Green, & food. First stop was the old CT at the fine hour of 9 am for a nice round of 18. Unfortunately the blue hairs were out in full force and pushed Sid's day back at least an hour and a half. After being harassed by Fulton's brother we hit the greens, had a blast, and got yelled at by the park ranger for skipping holes. So yeah, that's the reason we watched Blades.

This nightmare movie is centered around Mr. Screams dad as he gets prepared for the annual Tall Grass Country Club pro-am tournament. A couple days before all the geezers and golf machines show up, a couple bodies turn up mangled in the sand trap. Obviously this would be bad for Colonial Terrace, and out of fear Santa wouldn't show up to shank countless shots into the woods, they do all they can to cover up the murders. Eventually news of new murders spreads sending panic among the golf community. As they seek out a killer they come to realize a possessed lawnmower is the murderer. Yeah a lawnmower....pancakes. Despite numerous failed attempts Mr. Screams dad finally takes the death machine out with an explosive golf ball.

This movie is honestly one of the most useless pieces of cinema ever created. It's a disgrace to the world of B movies. The real downfall was the story being so pointless and uninteresting in every sense. When the scariest concept you can conjure up is a lawnmower cruising around chopping up dim whited golfers, you're not speaking our language. It would have been scarier to have Max running around in his sky blue Nike shirt smacking people with his Taylor Made 9 iron. Or maybe you could have just videotaped Santa getting his cart stuck in the mud followed by crying for an hour and a half, that would be a five star event there. They could have even had the quicksand that Santa lost his shoe in as the killer.