Customer Reviews

The Bleeding Heart

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I first read this book many years ago when my first serious relationship ended. I would definitely say that I saw myself a lot in the characters. This book talks a lot about the different roles of men and women in a love affair, and how the woman somehow always ends up doing more of the work. I think some people might say this is outdated, but there are some truths in this novel. But despite her cynicism, the female protagonist still embarks in this love affair and falls deeply in love with this man. This book is at turns didatic, romantic, and sad, and very enjoyable to read. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who just got out of a relationship as I think that's the best time to read it.

I read the book after a long hesitation, but sometimes as I was reading it, I was gasping, since some of the things I was reading could have been my thoughts. But there was also a part I didn't like because it was too black and white. But I think women should read this book to understand the relation between men and women better.

Initially, I didn't think I'd like the book because I was turned off by the main character's use of absolutes; "all men" do [oppressive things], "women always" get the bum deal. It seemed like the story of a woman with a very big axe to grind; she got upset over small details, and I thought someone so embittered shouldn't go into a relationship.

Reading the entire book I would say her character, who was brilliant, passionate, as well as irritating at times, was very well illustrated. Further into the story we are told exactly what has made her so bitter, and I can't blame her--lots of people have become embittered over much less. We are also told her lover's story, and while he wasn't attentive to his wife and children, I felt that the book primarily blamed him for his wife's fate when she also had her part in it. Basically she NEVER told him her wishes, and then was angry that he didn't honor them--sure he didn't listen much, but she could have at least made an attempt to communicate, and if he was still neglectful, then the blame would be on him. I also thought it was unfair to directly blame his chauvinism for her ultimate condition, as he couldn't have predicted it.

This book can be looked at in a number of ways. It can be seen as a feminist statement, but it is also more than that. It is a debate between two points of view, both of them hold their own, and one side is not shown as clearly right. The views of the characters can be seen as simply their own views, and their arguments can be seen as things that couples go through in a relationship. For the most part, the relationship was realistic, except I kept thinking that most people fight about much more inane subjects.

Like other of French's novels, the portrayal of woman's plight can show us the things that have changed for women, as well as the things that haven't. Women in the present don't always just go along with men and some have the primary career in the family. Women don't always get the bum deal in divorce cases and breakups, and some men have been manipulated in the way that women are portrayed as manipulated in this book. Most of all, I don't think it is viewed as acceptable for men to have affairs and not women, and in some liberal circles, like polyamory, I think there is even an unspoken, probably unconscious prejudice that promiscuous women are enjoying sexual freedom, whereas promiscuous men are still kind of being womanizers. The main difference between then and now is that while there is still sexism in our society and the things she writes about still happen, I don't see these things as universal truths about our entire society anymore.