Customer Reviews

Blending Families

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book calls itself an "easy-to-read, problem-solving guide," and that's pretty accurate. Written by a stepgrandmother with a refreshing and mature approach, this book focuses on solutions, not excuses. The advice is straightforward and free of hard to understand theory. There are quotes from stepparents throughout the text that illustrate the subjects well.

Early in the book, the author discusses communication in a stepfamily. She gives valuable advice for all relationships, active listening skills, and details on holding a family meeting. She also focuses on the marriage partnership. "Your spouse comes first," she says, and then offers ways to protect and nurture the marriage.

You'll enjoy the "Myths and Misses" chapter where the author discusses common misconceptions stepparents have. There is also help with handing the blended money as well as building and blending family traditions. The chapter on discipline is excellent, with thorough and specific guidelines and a reminder on how to interpret and understand a child's behavior. There's help on getting along with a former spouse and a full chapter devoted to stepgrandparenting.

The most helpful portion of the book may be the discussion on stress -- how to recognize, manage and reduce it. The "twelve ways to trip with steps" make it easy to understand, and then prevent, the little things that can add up to the big fallout. The author concludes with "Twelve Secrets for Successful Stepparenting," and while they seem simple, they are the valuable basics for building a happy new family.

This is a great resource for anyone starting a stepfamily. It considers many issues that may not be thought of until it is too late. This book covers issues such as communcation, discipline, religion, and many other topics. It will help new stepparents effectively deal with their new role as parent. A must read if you are in this new role.

This book has very useful information. If you are a new step parent I would definately recommend reading this book. It covers many of the important issues that someone new to step parenting might not even think of.
The chapter on communication is especially important. As a matter of fact, it can be applied to all families, not just step families. This chapter explains the importace of such things as "family meetings". The concept of the family meeting helps everybody express their thoughts and ideas in a setting where open conversation is encouraged.
Also, discussed in this book is titles for new family members. This is always a touchy subject but the book does offer a few solutions to the problem.
There is also great emphasis put on the fact that the husband and wife should focus on their relationship in order to establish a strong foundation. They should make sure that they have some one on one time as well. Also, they must present a united front with rules and disipline.
Overall the book "Blending Families" is a good reference book to have. While it won't fix every problem that could be encountered, it does have some very good ideas to help step parents with some of the bigger issues.

(...)

I am not a fan of "blended" as a description for stepfamilies. I'm not sure if blending is even possible. So maybe that opinion colors my impressions of this book --- which is a GOOD book that I am glad to recommend.

There is a lot of information here about how to communicate with your kids (and stepkids) in ways that will be less likely to make them defensive, hostile, upset, angry and etc. Elaine writes well in these sections, her experience is valuable here. Buy this book if you need help talking with your kids, or if the communication has been breaking down lately --- especially with adolescents.

Otherwise I recommend two other titles selling here on Amazon. Ginger Kolbaba writes about her own experiences in "Surprised by Remarriage." It's a witty, positive book. Dr. David and Lisa Frisbie, who are experts in remarriage and stepfamilies, write "Happily Remarried" --- an EXCELLENT book despite the title, which I didn't care for. Consider the Kolbaba book and the Frisbie book if you're in a remarriage or if you're trying to "blend" a stepfamily.

Lauren Hodge
Apple Valley, CA
I also highly recommend:
Happily Remarried: Making Decisions Together * Blending Families Successfully * Building a Love That Will Last

I think this would have been a great book, but the first one I got had numberous pages with one inch vertical blank spots so that there was no wording to read. I exchanged it for another copy and had the same problem. This second copy even had a business card in it from a salesperson at Barnes and Noble that said "return to vendor, unreadable due to missing print". I tried to exchange it for a third copy and got the same thing again... large sections of missing print throughout the book. Finally I gave up and returned it for a refund.

I was very disappointed that this book is even being offered out when clearly the distributor has issues with this book missing print.

I was looking for a book on blending families, as I am a mother of 2 who will be getting married in less than 6 months. This book was priced great, arrived quickly and in great shape.

I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to stepfamilies since 1981. I have researched stepfamilies professionally since 1979, an habe been a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother. I am an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and the author of six books on high-nurturance relationships and stepfamilies.

I do recommend 'Blending Families' to readers seeking an interesting, well-read, easy-to-read introduction to stepfamily dynamics and concerns. I not recommend this book to any student, co-parent, or family professional seeking to learn the real stressors in stepfamilies and what to do about them.

Structurally, this book is well organized, clear, has many illustrative quotes, is upbeat in tone, and very reader-friendly. However, the book omits explanation and illustration of five core hazards that typical stepfamilies face:

1) co-parents' (unseen) psychological wounds from low-nurturance childhoods, and what they mean;

2) blocked grief in adults and kids, what it means, and how to reduce it;

3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) human personality formation and function, (b) high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities and norms.

4) needy, love-struck unaware partners choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time; and...

5) little effective stepfamily help (courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media (TV, books, radio, print publications, Web sites).

In my experience, these five hazards combine to prevent typical stepfamily adults from following practical, heartfelt advice such as offered in this and similar books.

For more perspective on this review, see: [...]