Blindsided by a Diaper: Over 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship [Paperback]

Dana Bedford Hilmer (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 19, 2007

It used to be just the two of you. Now you have a baby, or maybe even a few kids, and the luxury of time—to frolic, talk, romance, and simply hang out—is gone, replaced by a big dose of chaos and the demands of little people who rule your home with small, adorable iron fists.

Parenthood brings changes to your relationship, changes that are at once profound, beautiful, irrevocable, and scary. These changes knock you off balance, forcing even the most secure couples to go back to the basics in figuring out how to define a new version of “we.”

In Blindsided by a Diaper, some of today’s most popular writers dare to tell what it’s really like for couples in the trenches of the parenting experience. They boldly reveal intimate aspects of their relationships, sharing the choices they’ve made, the joy and frustrations they’ve experienced, the trials and tribulations of their sex lives, the lessons they have learned, and how their lives together as parents may or may not be what they were expecting. The writers have quite literally invited you inside their bedrooms, their minds, and their lives as parents.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Packed with essays by some of the best known names in self-help-including Hope Edelman, Dr. Susan Maushart, Beth Levine and Adam Wasson-as well as a few child-besotted writers from other disciplines (like literary prankster Neal Pollack), Bedford's anthology of newborn baby angst is by turns heartwarming and hilarious, and perfect for freshly-minted parents. A wide range of tones and topics map the contemporary child-rearing landscape nicely: Nicholas Weinstock takes the baby's POV in "Being a Baby," Moon Unit Zappa is predictably in-your-face with "Having a Baby can Waylay Getting You Way Laid," Molly Jong-Fast waxes scholarly in "Why My Husband and I Love Our Son More than We Love Each Other" and Adam Wasson strikes a fine balance between tittering and touching in "To Sleep, Perchance to Scheme." Among them, they provide much more engaging reading than the typical parenting book, and, arguably, more honesty as well (novelist Leah Stewart on the moments after giving birth: "I was waiting for the rush of profound, intense love... I felt something more along the lines of, 'Well, look at this. Where did this baby come from?' "). Readers will be happy to join Bedford's community of new parents, and will love sharing favorite essays with their own crowd of postnatal newbies.
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Review

“If you’ve had a baby, are planning on having a baby, know a baby or just act like a baby you’ll be tickled by the hilarity and touched by the candid admissions contained within. We loved Blindsided by a Diaper and related to it like only new parents can.”
-Greg and Amiira Behrendt, authors of It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken and It’s Just a F***ing Date

“Most books about parenthood misguidedly focus on children. This savvy collection recognizes what PARENTS need — camaraderie, wisdom, humor and most of all, the knowledge that we are not alone in this crazy, chaotic new world.”
-Leslie Morgan Steiner, Mommy Wars editor and washingtonpost.com columnist for “On Balance,” the #1 mommy blog on the web

“The stories in this collection are thrillingly honest, laugh out loud funny, and heartbreakingly poignant. It’s a must for couples who didn’t see it coming and need to know they’re not alone.”
-Brett Paesel, author, Mommies Who Drink: Sex, Drugs, and Other Distant Memories of an Ordinary Mom

“To sleep, or to sleep with you — that is the question we never thought we’d be asking. For a new generation of sleepless, sexless parents, Blindsided by a Diaper shines a light inside the American bedroom and genuinely illuminates the state of our unions.”
-Ian Kerner, Ph.D., Sex therapist and author of She Comes First

“This terrific collection of “what-it’s-like-for-me accounts will stand a treasured source of reassurance, insight, laughter, and hope to new parents in the very thick of it.”
-Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., author of The Dance of Anger and The Mother Dance

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Product Details

• Paperback: 336 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press (June 19, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0307351343
• ISBN-13: 978-0307351340
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,168,460 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good, but not great, January 9, 2008

By 

C. Mayo (Grand Rapids, MI United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Blindsided by a Diaper: Over 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship (Paperback)

My husband and I bought this book when our daughter was about 3 months old and we realized that our relationship was REALLY strained. We enjoyed the candid essays, but found that some of them simply did't apply to our situation. Though it was comforting to know that others struggled the way we do. Sadly, some of the essays did not end happily. Some end in divorce, and one even admitted that he yearns for his days before his child was born. I kept hoping that it would have a happier ending.

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Married with children..., July 2, 2007

By 

Bonnie Bernal "Bonnie Bernal" - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Blindsided by a Diaper: Over 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship (Paperback)

Feeling alone enmeshed in the complexity of life with kids and a spouse/significant other? Trust me, you are not.

In Blindsided by a Diaper, Dana Bedford Hilmer has craftily compiled a collection by various respected writers discussing their personal accounts of how the dynamics of parenting has transformed their cozy and not so cozy relationship of two to the sometimes chaotic whirlwind of family life.

The refreshing honesty of the men and women authors featured in Blindsided by a Diaper is tantamount to a productive stint on the therapist's couch. Or rather, a group therapy session where parents vent!

Whether you are expecting or already have a house full of little ones or even contemplating having children, this book will be your survivor's tool and many of the authors who candidly shared their experiences in this collection will become your friends!

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars BLINDSIDED BY A DIAPER...., December 18, 2011

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Kathleen M. Kusel "goldfish-still swimming" (Maryland) - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Blindsided by a Diaper: Over 30 Men and Women Reveal How Parenthood Changes a Relationship (Paperback)

My husband and I gave this book to my son and his wife who have two young boys (aged 5 and newborn). We read it before we gave it to them and we fell on the floor laughting. My son stated that he and his wife enjoyed it as well. I would recommend this for all young couples who have just had their first child or have several young children.