Customer Reviews

BloodRayne

5 star:		(22)
4 star:		(23)
3 star:		(25)
2 star:		(28)
1 star:		(110)

 

 

Only one star, but keep about five or six Advil handy. That ought to be enough to cover you for this one.

A couple of tid-bits about this disaster:

1. It's made by Uwe Boll, helmer of two of the WORST movies I've ever seen in 'House of the Dead' and 'Alone in the Dark.'

2. In what (to me) was a staggering moment of brutal honesty, Boll himself admitted that he didn't cast the movie until TWO WEEKS before filming began. What he wound up with are a bunch of "names" that happened to have a hole in their schedule and showed up for a quick paycheck and a free trip to Romania. It shows too, the whole film feels like they just totally skipped rehersal and nobody looks even half-interested in making an honest effort.

3. Will Sanderson and Michael Madsen may have discovered the only way to survive a Boll film. They were reportly completely drunk through the whole production.

4. Ben Kingsley, who previously had to deal with Madsen on the film 'Species' refused to even be on the same set with him.

5. In the harem scene with Meatloaf, those are HONEST TO GOD, 100% FULL-BLOODED ROMANIAN PROSTITUTES. I swear you can't make this stuff up. Apparently, Boll couldn't afford real actresses (their union rates made them too expensive), so he decided he could cut costs by just ordering-out for the real thing.

This is a disaster from front to back. I'll give it this though, it's better then his last two films. 'Bloodrayne', at least, is a little bit unintentionally funny. Even having said that though, I could never recommend anyone ever see this. It'll only encourage the man to keep going.

Uwe Boll, without a doubt in my mind, is the most talentless film-maker I've ever seen. I'm absolutely astonished that this guy keeps finding his way behind a camera ...

Uwe Boll is an inspiration to hopeful filmmakers everywhere. He proves that no matter how talentless you are, studios will still give you money.

Well, how do you explain a movie like "BloodRayne" otherwise? The infamous Boll's new film is yet another example of cinematic ineptitude, with bad acting from B-list stars, an atrocious script, and a plot that is actually thinner than the original video game. Someone put this movie out of its misery.

Rayne (Kristanna Loken) is a dhampir -- half human, half vampire, the result of a vampire raping a human. Escaping from a life as a sideshow freak, she decides to go kill her daddy Kagan (Sir Ben Kingsley). And Kagan is trying to grab the magical body parts of an ancient vampire, which will make him invincible.

Since Rayne is a good bloodsucker (animals and bad guys) she happily joins a band of vampire-haters, the Brimstone Society. Vladimir (Michael Madson), Sebastian (Matt Davis) and Katarin (Michelle Rodriegez) join forces with Rayne. But to stop Kagan, they will have to deal with his vicious vampire hordes.

If "Buffy" had ripped off "Blade" and "Lord of the Rings," then the result might have been something like "BloodRayne." Yes, the film is that unoriginal -- Uwe Boll tears off chunks of hit movies, and splatters them together into a movie of his own. But it cannot hide this simple fact: Boll has the skills of a mentally backward Yorkie.

Well, Boll is trying hard. He really, really tries hard to make this a thrilling, stunning adventure. But the entire movie is strangled in his ineptitude -- the action is Monty Pythonesque at best, with silly wrangling and geysers of blood. Lots of dismemberment. Funny sex against the jail bars. It's all almost campy, but somehow it's too inane to be.

And the cast is the worst. To put it simply, most of the actors seem like escapees from a vampire porn movie, wearing grimy costumes and bad wigs. You know a movie is in trouble when Romanian prostitutes -- real prostitutes -- are more impressive thespians than the lead actress. And if this is medieval Romania, how come everyone is naked?

Kristanna Loken proves why she has had no major roles besides a robot, and Michelle Rodriegez plays the Antisocial Bad Girl again. And the two good actors, Ben Kingsley and Michael Madson, are left to wallow in the cinematic gook. I felt genuinely sorry for these two guys, since they will probably be fielding the question "Why did you do BloodRayne?" for the next twenty years.

This version includes "Bloodrayne 2," but it's not clear why -- the movie and the second video game have virtually nothing to do with one another.

At any video store, you'll find dozens of movies of this caliber -- straight to video, with F-list actors. And "BloodRayne" proves again that somebody needs to go to Germany, and confiscate Boll's camera before he starts another atrocity.

Yes, I've read the reviews and heard the complaints, but still I rented this yesterday.
To put it bluntly, I wanted to pour bleach in my eyes afterwards.

Ok, I give up...what exactly was this film supposed to be? I haven't seen special effects this bad since...well...ever. There must have been a sale on blood packs, because that's the only thing this movie was not in short supply of. They actually had a man on the ground supposedly being hacked to pieces. I saw better at the high school haunted house last year. Totally inexcusable...please people, do not waste your time or money!! They should have paid US to watch the movie.

What the hell was hollywood thinkg when they gave this guys more money?!?!? i mean have you NOT seen Alone in the Dark? I'm a huge fan of this game and of many of the actors in this film, and to see them do a something like this just breaks my heart? why oh why did any of you do this? i mean were you just that bored with life, or that desperate for money? well either way this movie was horrendous and if it weren't for the game i got with it, i'd just download it.

I am a huge of "bad" movies...but this movie is far too bad for even the likes of me! Being a fan of the games series (and having hard time finding a theatre that was actually showing "Bloodrayne", I was excited to finally see the movie when the DVD was released. And after the first five minutes...it was obvious that this movie was going to be deadly. Ms. Loken is a fine actress but the story, along with the costumes, the others actors, and the direction was terrible. Michael Madsen was absolutely 100% DOA and Ms. Rodriguez was also hamming it up. Pass this movie up folks.

Uwe Boll, as always, sucks royally at making movies be even slightly entertaining. He doesn't know how to make a good movie, as it pertains to horror movies, I feel. The proof is just by watching it all unfold like I did. If I saved the ticket price to do something more fun, it wouldn't leave such a bad taste in my mouth.
The story opens up in a castle, but its' so obvious that it's nothing more than a theme park attraction, it's hardly scary. The dialects of the natives are so horridly done, it's tough to decide where they are at all. Most of the story after that is just a lot of cheesy dialog & Western-styled shooting that looks like it was filmed from an arcade game.
The camera work sucks as always with Boll's cheesy projects in movies. It looks like a 3-year old could've done better with it. Most of the time, the camera angles are wrong for the shot or the actors aren't shown in a way that makes them look good. Sometimes, they look just like blips on a radar screen. The music seems out of place also, the soundtrack & background music for it are worse than most direct to videos around.
The only pro is that Uwe Boll did a quasi-decent job of getting some big name stars on the screen. Every thing else of the flick reeks like a movie that'd make direct to video horror movies look like Casablanca.

This movie was so bad that I almost threw it away, but then remembered that I had rented it from Blockbuster. The music, special effects, acting, and story line all sucked big time. Can't believe that anyone would make a movie this bad. My older kids like the vampire movies, but after I saw this I decided to pack it up and send it back without even letting them know I had gotten the movie. Next time I will read reviews of movies before renting them, do yourself a favor and skip this one, she looks WAY better in the Terminator movie anyway.

STOP MAKING MOVIES FROM VIDEO GAMES! PLEEEZZEE!
This one takes place in some unknown time and evolves around dhampir (Half human/half vampire) and how she seeks revenge on the vampire father who murdered her human mother. Lots of goofy fight scenes and lots of gore, and the usual erratic direction of Mr. Uwe Boll. I'm surprised he was able to round up such an impressive cast. Kristina Lokken is pretty. Period. Good actors like Matt Davis, Michael Madsen, Geraldine Chaplin, Will Sanderson, Billy Zane---all wasted. Meatloaf Aday looks like his former Jim Steinmann self in a brief role that features real live Romanian prostitutes, because they were cheaper than hiring real actresses, and Ben Kingsley, shame on you. Having won an Oscar for Gandhi doesn't give you the license to give such an exceptionally horrid performance. You'd better watch out---they make ask for your Oscar back!!! Yucky.

By far one of the worst movies I have seen in a very long time. The acting is sub par, Madsen, Kingsley, and Rodriguez are as lifeless as the corpses seen through the picture. Any time you rent a movie based upon a game, you can almost always expect to see quite a bit of gore...but the fight scenes were laughable at best. The sword work was done better in the old Errol Flynn flicks, and most of the fight scenes consisted with a sharp weapon of some sort being shoved into someone's head...followed by a huge wave of blood and a SPLAT sound. (Errol's special effects were also better.) The plot was simplistic and predictable. The ending was rushed and left you feeling completely unfulfilled. Bloodrayne is a waste of 90 minutes that you will never get back. Unless you rent this movie with the knowledge that it is a travesty of film making and watch it with the intention to laugh...you're better off watching infomercials on network television.