Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story [Paperback]

Christopher Moore (Author)

Book Description

Release date: March 18, 2008

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her.

Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life -- and afterlife -- in ways he never thought possible.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Here's something different: a vampire novel that's light, funny, and not at all hackneyed. Between scenes of punks bowling frozen turkeys on the graveyard shift in a supermarket, or snapping turtles loose in a loft and gnawing on designer shoes, this novel has comic charm to spare. But it also packs an appealingly downbeat message about the consumer culture: Becoming a vampire has given the twentysomething heroine "a crampless case of rattlesnake PMS"--a grumpy mood in which she realizes that she can dress to the nines as a "Donner Party Barbie" and still end up disillusioned and unhappy, just another slacker doing her own laundry and watching sucky TV 'til the sun rises. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

Horror, farce and adolescent fantasy mix with uncertain results in this latest offbeat novel from the author of Coyote Blue and Practical Demonkeeping. Attacked on her way home from work in San Francisco's financial district, sexy redhead Jody wakes up under a dumpster and gradually realizes that she has transformed into a vampire. Needing a safe place to hide from daylight and her attacker as she masters her new powers, she turns to Tommy, a 19-year-old aspiring writer from Indiana whom she's just met. Becoming lovers, the two get an apartment together where Tommy avidly studies the mysteries of both vampires and women. But Jody's vampire mentor, Elijah Ben Sapir, who's leaving blood-drained bodies all over the city, has it in for Tommy?as do the cops, who suspect the young man of the killings. With the aid of both the rebellious young misfits he works with and an eccentric homeless man, Tommy aims to vanquish Elijah Ben Sapir in order to save his beloved and himself. Moore's seemingly off-the-cuff narrative and plotting fail to deliver on an imaginative beginning. Despite offering some amusing moments, the author gives little depth to his motley cast of characters and wavers awkwardly between fable and satire.
Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Simon & Schuster; Reprint edition (March 18, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416558497
• ISBN-13: 978-1416558491
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.1 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (240 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #97,856 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Christopher Moore is the author of eleven previous novels: Practical Demonkeeping, Coyote Blue, Bloodsucking Fiends, Island of the Sequined Love Nun, The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove, Lamb, Fluke, The Stupidest Angel, A Dirty Job, You Suck, and Fool. He lives in San Francisco.

Amazon Author Rankbeta 

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#66 in Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Horror

#66 in Kindle eBooks > Literature & Fiction > Horror

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

65 of 69 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Kept me up nights... September 25, 2003

By Stephen Cords

Format:Hardcover

Quick personal note; My wife and I have twin 18 month old boys. I stay home with them during the day and work until 1:30 AM. Time is at a premium in my life right now. There's not much to spare and whatever spare time I can get a hold of would most likely be better spent sleeping. That being said, Christopher Moore's Blood Sucking Fiends hooked me the first night I opened the cover and kept me up until nearly 4AM.

I am a long time fan of horror and it would take quite some book to unnerve me to the point of insomnia. It wasn't a late night case of the heeby-jeebies that kept me up. It was the laughter and engaging characters. Moore has a relaxed witty style that translates to a very fast read. All of the characters in Fiends are incredibly likeable (save one) and the story is humorous and engaging. This fresh take on the joys and advantages of being a vampire set in San Franscisco made me want to walk the city and see the sites. I longed to meet a vivacious red-headed blood sucker who would set me up in an apartment and treat me like a cross between Stoker's Renfield and one of Cher's boy toys. I wanted to take the emperor to lunch with his dogs and become engaged to seven Chinese brothers so they could get their green cards. I wanted to work late nights stocking shelves in a supermarket and go bowling with frozen turkeys. (Oh, wait a sec. I have worked in a supermarket overnight and Moore knows exactly what goes on there.)

Christopher Moore weaves all of the above seamlessly and with great humor and affection to create one of the most enjoyable reads of recent memory. More Moore is on it's way to my house as we speak and I can't wait to read his advice on "Practical Demonkeeping" and see what happens in his world when a giant reptile is awakened by radioactive waste in "The Lust Lizard of Melancholy Cove". I may have a new favorite author.

40 of 44 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars One of the funniest books I have ever read. January 31, 2002

By David J. Gannon

Format:Paperback

This book should come with a warning label: Read this book alone! Constant chuckling and laughing out loud in public will lead people to think you are crazy!

Ostensibly, this is a spoof of a "vampire" tale. That's like saying Gone with the Wind was about farm life in the south. It utterly fails to convey the substance of the novel.

That substance is derived from the characters--the usual well defined and full blown whackos that inhabit all of Moore's novels. As with all of Moore's novels the locale is a major character as well, and while most of his work is set in small, quirky towns, this one is set in San Francisco, lending an additional element of urban wackiness to the whole thing.

The thing with Moore that most astounds is his characters are cartoons in many ways-but have no cartoonish sense about them. Instead, they remind you of all your best friends, and, like your best friends, you care about these people. That makes the story compelling and, interestingly, the humor more intense.

Make no mistake--this is light, recreational reading. But is it light, recreational reading of the highest order.

I have read all of Moore's books (save the one just issued) and while all are humorous and enjoyable, this one is his best by far.

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars SWF seeks romantic nights; idle (very idle) days March 2, 1997

By A Customer

Format:Paperback

Charmingly naive young man meets, falls in love with, and then finds it's not easy living with a gorgeous vampire. Improvisation is called for in the form of window shades, freeazer chest, and ... snapping turtles??? Angered and menacing vampire gent adds another level of challenge.
Wow! This energetically hilarious story passed the ultimate test: my wife became suspicious when she heard me laughing out loud (something I do every 25,000 books or so). Then she read it and understood. Christopher Moore delivers
fast-paced supernatual hijinks, with a peppering of pinpoint jabs at the inanity of modern urban living. The dialog must be among the wittiest of any American author today. It's one thing to chuckle over a funny quote; a real treat to laugh anew when deadpan rejoinders add a whole new twist to the humor. Add a host of imaginative complications, and the reader had better hang on for this wild jaunt.
Like Moore's other novels (_Coyote Blue_ Practical Demonkeeping_) the satire is decidedly upbeat. He manages to let the redemptive qualities of his characters sneak through all the farcical shenanigans. As a result, you'll cheer for these night-shift kids as they stumble all over themselves (and a few bodies) to find true happiness. A book easily finished before sunrise!