Customer Reviews

Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy

5 star:		(35)
4 star:		(28)
3 star:		(13)
2 star:		(17)
1 star:		(22)

 

 

I had heard someone call this book Bridget Jones meets James Bond. I agree.
I am not even finished with the book, but there were parts of it I could not believe...

Moran says she was at top of... everything (she kind of says it way too often, really). Everyone around her is faceless negativity - wimp, lacking common sense, arrogant a**, etc. Only she stands out in her shining brightness, Harvard top, "overachiever, acing in every test ever taken", etc, etc.

And then she is told, she is not going to be scaling walls stealing secrets from the safe, etc. She hears it first time... during CO (Case Officer) training?! and has issues about making people betray their country??? She heard it the first time that this is what her job is about WHILE already being in the CIA? WOW! what a shock must have it been...

Now, I understand that many people, not interested in the topic, may have the same perception as Moran did about what spy does, and it is totally ok, until and unless you actually plan to BECOME one!
My point is: how can a bright person which Moran claims to be (declares it over and over), go into job requiring so much commitment, without even checking up what the job actually does beyond information obtained from Harriet the Spy books and 007 movies?
COs job is to manipulate people. If someone questions obtainability of such a "secret" information, give it a try... Google it, if don't want to read any books (if you do - Espionage by Ernest Volkman first of many that comes to mind)... the fact that she did not know such a basic truth before being told at CIA training - is asinine.

Anyway, I am still not saying that book is not readable. It is. There are few laughs too: some intended by author, and some - not, if you know what I mean. My problem with the book is attitudes, self-assertion and assertion of others by author.

And finally, one category of people for whom I say this book is a must read - is CIA recruitment officers, who should take notes on a profile of a person they never want to hire.

In an attempt to remain fair I will review this book from two perspectives: (1) as a literary work and (2) my personal opinion of what was written. First, the book was well written. It flows smoothly and the pages turn quickly. She does not get bogged down on unimportant details and she captures the key points without getting wordy. I am not by any means a fast reader and I got through this book in just a few days. From this perspective I had had no problem.

With regard to what she actually wrote, I am utterly flabbergasted. Lindsay Moran embodies and epitomizes all that is wrong with my generation. Throughout the entire book I can not distinguish between her attitude and that of some spoiled little rich kid, e.g. Paris Hilton. She never once takes responsibility for her own actions or choices. She berates the CIA for not changing its policies and procedures to be more accommodating to her. Someone within the Agency obviously did not get the memo that the world revolves around Ms. Moran.

I will start with a harmless example. Throughout the book she casually mentions her diet, usually consisting of some sort of fast food or other high fat, high calorie food, not to mention copious amounts of alcohol. Yet, near the end of the book when she laments about clothes not fitting and the weight she has gained, she blames the Agency and the job of a case officer being fairly sedentary. She never even entertains the thought that if she laid off a couple of bottles of wine a week and who knows how many McBurgers, she might have been able to better maintain her weight.

While stationed in Macedonia, she whines quite often about how the Agency and her job are taking away from her personal life, specifically opportunities to visit her two friends in Bulgaria. Again, someone back at Langley must have misplaced the memo describing how the CIA was simply a front to bankroll Ms. Moran's Balkan vacation. How dare the Agency actually require her to work.

Finally, she is oft offended whenever the Agency wants to know about her personal life, specifically who she might be dating, especially if that person is a foreign national. These episodes are treated with great disdain and personal offense by Ms. Moran. Yet she never acknowledges the fact that she JOINED the CIA. The CIA did not draft her. Moreover, the Agency gave her more than enough prior warning regarding this condition of her employment. And yet she continued. Why? She says it outright early in the book, her ego. She wanted to prove she can make it in the CIA. So, she joined the CIA, disregarded its warnings about the conditions of employment, and then whined about those very conditions (conditions put in place to decrease the chance of a foreign intelligence service turning CIA agents).

These absolute absurdities are made worse when compounded by Ms. Moran's complete lack of understanding of geo-politics and counterterrorism. Early in the book she objects strongly to a briefer when he/she mentions that the new trainees represent the "best of the best." On this point I agree with Ms. Moran, there is no way the group could have been the "best of the best", as she was part of the group.

This book sucks. The auther left me with the feeling that the CIA will hire anybody. You don't have to believe in the mission or how it is achieved, you don't have to abide by CIA rules, and you don't have to accomplish anything once you're in the field (if she accomplished anything, she left it out of this book.)

This book hardly deals with experiences from the field - the majority of the book deals with her training class at The Farm. She whines about everything, admits that she didn't believe in what she was doing, and seems more concerned with having a boyfriend than spying.

For a better read, try Robert Baer's "See No Evil" and Melissa Boyle Mahle's "Denial And Deception."

And ignore the reviewers who can't resist refering to this author as a "liberal." Such readers miss the point and are simply too wrapped up in their own political idealogy to provide objective assesments on anything related to the CIA. Most good CIA officers offer criticism of liberal and conservative administrations.

Lindsay Moran's foray into the publishing world is as unsatisfying as her love life.

First, the positive aspects of the book: Moran really was a case officer in the CIA, at a crucial point in the agency's history (immediately pre and post 9/11). Many of the books now available about the CIA inner-workings were written during the Cold War, and now are obsolete to the modern day reader.

As someone interested in applying to the agency, the book has value in that it prepares one for some of the hardships of Clandestine life. You learn that there are some real downsides to the life of a case officer. You learn how pervasive the agency controls your life. You learn the extent of training.

Lindsay Moran as an author is pompous, over-confident, and border-line delusional. She seems very insecure about many things; her ethnic heritage, her weight, her looks, her personality, and most of all, her marital status. I do not think I've ever come across a writer who so absolutely requires male companionship in order to validate who they are. Moran's incessant references to her "Harvard education" reveal her insecurity about her own intellect; she finds it necessary to constantly remind the reader of her Ivy league education. While she insults other CIA recruits for their desire to succeed, she simultaneously reveals her never-ending attempts to soar to the top of the class. She is the type of person that, on the surface, pretends not to try, and yet spends every waking moment desperately attempting to succeed. Her hypocrisy is sickening.

Moran's writing style is extremely obnoxious. The writing appears as if she sat down in front of a computer with a dictionary and thesarus and attempted to use the most obscure and inappropriate descriptive words possible. Simply put, she is terrible at describing localities, people, and herself.

Her relationship with men is the most disturbing part of all. She constantly launches verbal assaults against the men in her life. At the same time, she never stops whining about how she wants a boyfriend, a husband. Her double standards smack of a weak and conflicted person.

I also suspect that Moran embellished many of her encounters with CIA personnel, in order to make herself appear in a better light.

In my opinion, Lindsay Moran is a terrible author who had no business getting a book published. The only reason she was able to get this book printed was because of her experience at the CIA. And yet she does nothing but trash the very place that makes the book possible. Moran clearly never possessed the strength of will and commitment necessary for a covert operative. I suspect that she took the job because she secretly wanted her family, her friends, and others, to know that she was a CIA case officer, and for them to be endlessly impressed with her job. The CIA requires individuals who are not glory-whores like Moran. She should have never walked through that door.


Overall, read the book if you are thinking about a career as a case officer. In spite of her second-rate writing ability, Moran does provide an insider's view of the agency. However, I would not let Moran's pessimistic attitude and self-righteous, know-it-all demeanor sour you on the agency. Read other books as well in order to balance out this poor excuse for a published work.

First of all, there are some statistics worth mentioning before discussing this book that relate to the CIA. First of all, the employee turnover rate in the Clandestine Service is roughly 2.5%. In the entire CIA, it is roughly 3% It is not a prison, employees are free to resign whenever they desire. The average turnover rate is the US private sector is 17%-25%. While NCS employees may not be up to Ms. Moran's lofty standards, they typically hail from the finest educational institutions in America and most have some type of military and/or professional experience. Almost all could earn a higher salary in the private sector. There are numerous individuals within the NCS that left six-figure positions in order to join. This a group of the most highly dedicated, patriotic, intelligent, capable, qualified individuals in the entire world. While Ms. Moran makes joining the CIA sound like joining the cub scouts, NCS employees go through one of the most difficult hiring processes anywhere, including multiple 3-4 hour interviews, psychological testing, intelligence testing, and of course an extensive background investigation. Although I do find it telling that Ms. Moran joined near the end of the Clinton Administration, at probably the lowest point in CIA's history. The Clinton Administration almost destroyed the organization, and from this account, probably did for awhile.

A couple of things really jarred me about this book. Maybe at the time she joined, Ms. Moran was not told about the realities of the job. Nowadays and traditionally, any recruiter will be very upfront that you will be attempting to develop agents that wil be committing treason against their country or organization. If that bothers you, go work someplace else. They tell you only your spouse and maybe parents will know who you really work for. Having relations with foreign nationals is closely monitored, for obvious reasons. To claim that the ethical considerations of the job are not an issue until one actually joins the organization is patently ridiculous.

The descriptions of the training are good enough, but don't really add to any Baer or Paseman account. None of this was terribly groundbreaking. Everyone knows the gist of the Farm experience. Ms. Moran does an admirable job of describing her experience, albeit with the annoying critiques on her collegues. Ms. Moran clearly is not likeable person, at least if her book is any indication. In her book, she seems incredibly immature, self-pitying, and arrogant, which of course is ridiculous considering the qualifications of her co-workers. I know Ms. Moran was the only Harvard graduate in the CIA and this made things extremely difficult for her, however I think she could have done a better job having patience with the other slack-jawed imbeciles she was forced to associate with.

Finally, her reason for leaving was stated as some sort of ethical battle and the failure of the organization to stop 9/11. This is complete nonsense. She left because she couldn't hack the job. Fair enough, it happens in such an incredibly challenging career, but to claim that it's because she was morally conflicted? Absurd.

All in all terrible. Ms. Moran should be ashamed at writing this pathetic cash-in. I can only hope that this travesty of a publication will find its way to the forgotten netherworld of history..

The reason I bought this book was for the supposed insight on the hiring process and training that DO officers have to endure. In that end, the book does a fine job of detailing it all but with it come the annoying and childish rants of Lindsay Moran. It is clear that her state of mind was not to serve her country but more geared towards "scratching her itch of becoming a spy" as she states so many times. She manages to belittle basically everyone in her class while constantly reinforcing her Harvard greatness. At one point, she even analogizes the work of espionage to "a little boys game" all the while constantly crying over her choice to break up with "Sasho", her loverboy from Bulgaria, and her inability to take drugs like all her friends. It was so obvious from the get go that she was not dedicated but merely exploring a fascination she had. Her degree from Harvard might have gotten her through the hiring process but after about 5 years, it's clear that she's not what legends are made of. You don't apply for the cladestine service and ask the start date of employment to be pushed back 1.5 years so you can go explore yourself. This book actually made me angry.

The biggest disappointment of this book is that the comments about the CIA - training and operation - are akin to what might have been written at the end of the day into a diary. There was passage after passage that begged for insight that her (limited) experience brought, but I don't remember a single case of finding this. The criticism of the CIA training is rendered in terms of the students' shortcomings in the exercises, with no thought to why they didn't do better, or if their performance - while not good - was in fact passable.

I suspect that the people from the intelligence agencies that gave high marks to this book are doing so because they find the public criticisms of the CIA refreshing and useful/needed, and that they could fill in the insights on their own.

Despite having read multiple of the reviews here, I was still unprepared for the sheer amount of time talking about her personal life (one reviewer overstates it as being 75%) and how trite it was.

The reviews here had prepared me for the arrogance of a 30-something, but what I encountered was more the self-absorption of a teenager. The librarian who shelfed this book in the teen section may have been making a different editorial comment than the reviewer (2006-Aug-15) who reported it (reviewer gave it 5 stars for the teen reader).

The book has many hints and clues that the author is a substantial and interesting person, and this may keep you reading. However, that person never emerges. And that is a real shame.

BOTTOM LINE:
If you are really interested in reading this book, do what I did and borrow it at your local library. After reading the negative comments on it, I decided it would be best to get it at the library instead of splurging on it. If I liked it, then I could justify buying it. Not buying it was the right move! I am wholeheartedly dissapointed in Ms. Moran's piece of "work". That's all you need to know. But for those who want to know a bit more, then read on.

THE PROS
If you are curious as to the technical aspect of coming on board with the agency (applying, initial contact, they types of tests, getting an offer, training, etc.), then this book does a fairly good job outlining that. That's about it.

THE CONS
If you want to read about a whiney, lonely (i.e., "horny"), bitter, immature, misguided, egomaniac woman stroking herself on how she is better than everyone and elaborate in great detail about how talented she is, then this book also does a good job at this. For starters, her career as a spy only lasted 5 years so she utterly lacks the credibility that real seasoned pros bring to the table. Keep in mind she was only in for five years and the whole time she whined about how lonely she was and how much she disliked what she did! Question: why the hell did she join in the first place? The answer: to scratch her itch. That's it folks! That's why she joined! The truth of the matter is that she never really wanted to do it. Instead, what she really wanted was to prove to herself and her family that she was good enough to get in- that's it. Once she realized that she would not be doing stuff that James Bond does with the likes of someone like Collin Ferrel, then she wanted out (seriously- that's in the book)! Nevertheless, the itch had not been scratched, so she stayed in a bit longer.

Another tragedy of this book is that EVERYONE she meets or presents is done so in an insulting and condecending way. Most of the good things said about anyone in the book pertain to herself! Then, when you finally get to her first assignment, it reads more like a mix between a dull history text book and a poorly written love story (the kind you'd expect to find on the shelves of the "cat lady" at work). Keep in mind that the whinning has not stopped at this point! In fact, she whines all the way into the epilogue, for cripes! I figured out her template: whine, stroke yourself, insult someone, stroke yourself, criticize anyone or the agency, whine, stroke yourself, remind us of how lonely you are, stroke yourself and whine. It gets so damned tideious that you almost just want to put the book down or burn it. In the end, she tries to justify her reasoning for getting out by saying that she could not work for an agency so ill-prepared to handle something like 9/11. This is bull$|-|17 plain and simple! By the time you get done reading the book you know that the real reason she wanted out is because she needed herself a man (I feel bad for James- what a desperate man he must've been) and she enjoyed partying a little too much. Sasho, you dodged a good bullett, there buddy!

How on earth she got in is beyond me. What's scary to me is not that the agency "allowed" 9/11 to happen, but how they allow someone the likes of her within their ranks. They must surely be despearte. So, after reading the book I could not in my right mind justify funding her retirement by buying this piece of crap.

The author's personality is undoubtedly revealed by the tone throughout this book.

Sure, the book is easy reading and sometimes cute, but Moran reveals her former AND current childishness, which is practically that of an immature teenager with a bad attitude. If there was a sterotype of those of her generation, she certainly personifies it.

Throughout the book, Moran constantly reminds readers that she went to Harvard, as well as how impressed she is with herself, education and background. Obviously, she doesn't keep it a secret that she has an elitist attitude. She even goes as far as to say that, in hindsight, during her initial recruitment, she thought the Agency could use bright and intelligent young people like herself, as if only someone of her "caliber" could save the ailing Agency from itself.

Other reviews here are pretty much accurate in terms of describing Moran's self-absorption and naive/chiildish outlook. During her first deployment, she has moral misgivings about paying agents for information. Huh? Exactly how did she originally think things happened in this world?

Other appropriate adjectives to describe Moran: brat, spoiled, ingrate, unmotivated, selfish.

Moran's attitude seems to be this: SHE is doing the Agency and the citizens of her country a favor by joining the CIA. Not once did she ever seem to feel that it was an honor to be serving where she was. My dear child...

The other reviews describing Moran's attitude towards other people is basically spot on. She is very impressed with herself and never hesitates to be condescending towards others. Moran's unceasing put-downs could have just as easily been written by, say, Paris Hilton describing those who aren't like her (you get the idea).

[e.g., for all of her biting remarks about the other females in her stories, Moran isn't exactly monopolizing the universe's supermodel genes].

Moran, as a young adult, has many preconceived notions about things or people. When those preconceptions prove false, she tears those things/people down, as if somehow they wronged her or wasted her time. Nowhere does she reflect on how or why SHE might have been wrong in her initial preconceptions (something an adult might do?). Basically, her outlook never matures over time.

You'll also get to read about her constant and endless whining about her social life, trust-fund friends, dating, etc. It's amazing that she sees nothing wrong about bringing one of her girlfriends on a mission to recruit a potential agent, or visits to her "boyfriends" that put her out-of-country when she wasn't supposed to be.

In addition, Moran seems to think that the world around her should accommodate her, whether it's her social life, dating, how the Agency systems works (good or bad), family, where she's deployed, etc. Who does she think she is?

Overall, we all know someone (or many) like Moran. Most of the time, we just want to slap them.

Moran spent 5 years with CIA, with maybe 50% of that time in training. She was only on 1 overseas tour. I doubt this book provides provides an accurate or legitimate description of a CIA officer's life over an entire career.

[To the more recent reviewer above, Dr. Cathy Goodwin, what you're impressed with in terms of Moran's life/attitude, etc. is patently absurd.

You write that everyone figured out her affiliation, so why bother with the covert aspect of everything?

You answered your own question -- if everyone figured her out, that can mean only 1 thing -- Moran wasn't very good at the most basic element of her job -- keeping her identity secret!!! Duh.

Re: the drinking and clubbing -- the job might call for it, but that wasn't the issue. The issue was that she was bringing her silly, childish girlfriends on these assignments!

Moran is supposed to be protecting YOUR life, but she's got her dufus sidekick girlfriends with her when she's on an assignment?

She's supposed to be protecting YOUR life, but she's not in-country, but out-of-country visiting some dufus guy she's got a crush on?

You also wrote that Moran was considered a "good case officer," and you base this conclusion on the fact that she finished 2nd in her class. Sorry, but that doesn't make a "good case officer." Maybe a "good case officer TRAINEE," -- MAYBE -- but certainly not a "good case officer."

And you write that you can relate to her???

Wow. Good grief, you're a doctor?! ]

I picked up Lindsey Moran's book Blowing My Cover - My Life as a CIA Spy and other Misadventures using a gift card I'd received for Christmas. Normally, I like to prowl the remainder bins at bookstores to find bargains, but I am cooking up a writing project, and I thought an eyewitness account of the life of a CIA case officer would be a good read. With an internet discount coupon, I splurged.

Ms. Moran's autobiographical account is well-written and easy to read. I read it a few chapters at a time, and toward the end, I just kept reading until finished, which for me is the mark of a good book. I was fascinated by both the inner workings of the CIA, and her views of the many experiences she had spying for the United States.

She begins with the recruiting process and carries the reader through her training, first assignments and eventually her exit from the Agency. The book is honest and revealing, both of the enigmatic CIA and Ms. Moran.

Since it is autobiographical, and Ms. Moran is a real human being with real feelings, I hesitate to get into my views of her service to our country, though I think she's done a good service in letting us peek inside. What she reveals is not the monolithic, fearsome omnipotence of spy-movie lore, but an institution that has more than its fair share of bumbling nincompoops, not the least defect being that the CIA is not able to screen out self-involved, narcissistic whiners like Moran.

Moran spends a great deal of the narrative expressing outrage and bewilderment that the CIA would ask embarrassing questions repeatedly during a lie detector test. She is incredulous that the Agency might consider lengthy romantic entanglements with foreign nationals would be considered a security risk. Her life as a spy is not glamorous, and much of her work seems fruitless, which of course it is. Actionable intelligence is a needle in a haystack, and you have to sort a great deal of hay to find the needle. The dude who finds the needle probably feels more satisfaction than the dudes who spent the day clutching hay, but everyone's work reducing the stack is part of that greater whole. A mature person might have been able to grasp this and persevere, or better leadership would have helped her deal with it, but alas, this was not given.

It's pretty obvious that Moran's CIA is shockingly inept, with its training and recruiting guidelines hopelessly outside what we need. Moran tried to recruit a person who had terrorist ties, but was made to heel because the guy had terrorist ties. Asinine, but then Moran seems to think the CIA isn't politically correct enough in other areas.

Moran's work is honest, and I spent too much time criticizing her and not enough acknowledging the strength of her work. Blowing my Cover is an often funny, very readable and worrisome exposition of America's tarnished spy agency.