Customer Reviews

Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

In this mix of research and personal experience, Gore faults the Positive Psychology movement (Seligman, Csikszentmihalyi and others)for ignoring or underemphasizing the differences in male and female happiness, and how it's gained. Gore's own study of women's happiness--performed by collecting journal entries and forming "expert" panels of women-- is interesting, but only feels incisive and truly informative in the last quarter of the book. While I enjoyed reading Bluebird and find many of its insights useful, I often found myself wishing A.G. had either come down hard on the side of personal narrative, or hard on the side of research and investigation. Gore's highly readable middle ground loses some of the lyricism of memoir and the intellectual rigor of topically-driven nonfiction. I'd love to see her let her self-identified "nerdy" side loose on a topic like this. Nevertheless, a book I would give to friend and recommend; a book I'm glad someone has written.

"Bluebird" cannot be typecast. It is not a self help book, nor a flat essay.
It is a true, no nonsense exploration of what happiness truly consists of.
Ariel Gore, though extensive research, countless quotes from women around her, with deep intelligence and compassion, takes us through all the accepted notions of what happiness should be like, and what women were taught to expect from an early age. Halfway through the book, suddenly and with no warning, everything becomes clear. There is no fake optimism, forced emotion, or New Age one-ness in the pages of "Bluebird".
But reaching the end, between the lines of this incredibly sharp study, well researched and truly personal without indulgence, the reader feels a true uplift, a real feel for what it means to be happy. Behind the words, there is a precious jewel glistening in the shadows. Ariel Gore's revelation is straightforward: the jewel is ours, ours to keep, ours to enjoy. It was ours all along, its beauty somewhat hidden behind our various dissatisfactions and frustrations. "Bluebird" gives it back to us, as logically and simply as in giving us the solution to a mathematical problem. Definitely a must read for women of all ages.

Women and happiness.

Ariel Gore weaves together the findings of recognized authorities (most of them men), commonly cited studies (most done on male subjects), the experiences of a hundred real women (imagine that!), and her own life experiences, to paint a picture of what women are up against in a search for happiness. Be they women of traditional values or feminists, married or single, raising families or running corporations, happiness can be equally elusive.

In eighteen years of pastoral ministry and counseling, few books have given me as insightful and honest a look into the heart of this matter as Bluebird. If you're a preacher, pastor, or counselor, and you want to understand the hand that the women you minister to are dealt by society, this book is a worthy read. I'll also recommend this book to the women in my congregation, that they might reject the psychology that has failed them and be encouraged: cultivating true happiness is hard work, but good work.

Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness

Ariel Gore's overreliance on women who are married and have kids was the prime drawback of this book for me. Also: her contention that depression is not a real illness that sometimes requires medication. Tell that to a person who is suicidal. Tell that to a person whose life became sunnier once she took an anti-depressant.

Overall: a good book.

Yet: what if you are a woman who feels society did not abuse you? What if you chose your own life from an early age and are quite happy with the results? Ariel Gore doesn't talk about this. I would've like to see more "experts" whose lives mirrored my own weigh in. I honestly couldn't relate to a lot of them even though I'm a woman.

Without the drawbacks I would've given it four stars.

Wow! I expected to enjoy this book and get some useful insight on women and the psychology of happiness but what I found was a true treasure. Ariel Gore does an amazing job at giving an overview on positive psychologists and many other feminist authors' as well as her own experiences and views on happiness.

I was completely captivated and found myself stopping on certain passages and taking a moment of thought and had many "wow" moments. There are so many different voices of women and men alike on the subject of happiness and what I loved what how the author focuses on women and helps to make scholarly information accessible to women of all ages.

So much wisdom in this little book. There are many positive psychology books out there but what I loved was the useful tidbits used from those books making the findings easy and accessible all in this book. Another plus. The cover is great and I'm a sucker for great covers. :)

Any woman can benefit from this gem of a book. Truly uplifting and I gained much happiness by savoring this book.

Ariel Gore is someone who I would befriend and this book keeps you engaged and really has the authentic feel of connecting with the author. Thank you Ariel for your contribution to the happiness of women everywhere!

This book made me happy. So happy that I read it twice.

A (wo)manifesto for happiness, _Bluebird_ tailors the newly emerging field of positive psychology to fit the rest of us--i.e., females. As Ariel herself explains: "This is a book about shaping our own realities--about better understanding our emotional lives so we might become more active players in their creation--so I think it's important to consider in what ways we create our realities. Because as it turns out, women's notions about personal happiness are all tangled up with our ideas about privilege, selfishness, and social responsibility."

And, Ariel's book helps us untangle ourselves from those ingrained societal ideas and scripts about happiness.

Sure--as the prolific research flying off the presses of positive psychology is showing--ingredients such as kindness, gratitude, meditation, relationships, inspiration, accomplishments, and metaphysical worthiness are essential for our happiness. But, as Ariel uncovers, even more crucial is being able to rejoice in the midst of suffering. In her own brilliantly illuminating words, Ariel concludes that:
"There is no 'happily ever after.' There is only meditation, action, change, friendship, idea, inspiration, creation.
We spin this light out of darkness."

Other crucial factors of happiness she discovers include having the courage to question the "scripts for happiness" and being able to cultivate a "a childlike curiosity coupled with a very grown-up understanding of self-respect and self-protection."

In contrast to other books on happiness, this one does not offer a one-size-fits-all script. Instead, it teaches us how to lose the societal scripts and create our own beautifully improvised life performances by tuning in to our innate preferences for joy.

Happiness is in the heart of the beholder.

BLUEBIRD: WOMEN AND THE NEW PSYCHOLOGY OF HAPPINESS comes from an author who observed that Positive Psychology - the study of happiness - was one of the most popular courses on the Harvard campus. Her research into why discovered that many don't know how to find and cultivate happiness in their lives - especially women - and this book offers the results of surveys of women who were asked to answer six questions to evaluate their happiness potential. Highly recommended for any general lending collection.

Ariel Gore combines historical facts, current research and her own experiences in this fantastically smart and well-written book. I love her intelligent yet entertaining writing style. I love that she approaches this subject from a woman's point of view and in an empowering, respectful way. It doesn't present the "magic key" to happiness, it doesn't tell you how to live. It makes you think about, reflect and look forward on your life. Thank you, Ariel Gore for the best book I've read in a long time. And thank you for opening my mind to a new way of interacting with the flow of emotions on a day-to-day basis.

The book "Bluebird" by Ariel Gore is a fine place to start in researching positive psychology and the topic, women and depression. While a feminist, she does not come across as a male basher nor does she come across as hopelessly depressing, with a "Women are oppressed" school of thought. She is neither Pollyanna nor a convert to the church of positive psychology. I liked the fact that she gave a solid overview, especially on how women are different, and how our roles require a subtle balance of many things men are just not required to balance. By the end of the book, I felt a kind of "aha moment" regarding what leads stress and depression in women, and some things that women can do to combat depression besides pharmaceuticals. I will be recommending this book to others. Gore is a pragmatist and I like that.

I've been anxious to review this book since I first cracked it open in September. I found the book on Amazon, after a summer of working with a therapist myself trying to sort out my depression, and had the intention of ordering it but in September I decided to get it through interlibrary loan and the day it arrived through interlibrary loan I sat in my room and plowed through sixty-six pages without once glancing up to look at the clock. Why was a book on psychology so engrossing to me?

The answer is quite simple. In Bluebird: Women and the New Psychology of Happiness, Ariel Gore says the things that we all know but never say. She examines the dichotomies of womanhood so well and exactly how society infringes on a woman's happiness. What makes this book so relate-able is that is is not a psychologist discussing these issues for other psychologists. Ariel Gore is a writer, mother, and romantic partner who goes through the same stresses that every woman does and she just happens to want to solve this question of happiness. She is writing for women like herself and not for those in the psychology field (though I would at least recommend they read the section about her daughter adjusting to college life).

I could go on to quote many examples of this book but I am going to let her preface say it all for you:

I must have been about nine years old when my paternal grandmother gave me the gift of a small glass bluebird. "It's a symbol of happines," she told me.

I turned it over in my hand. "Why?" I asked. I'd already learned that the color blue represented sadness.

My grandmother smiled at me and then frowned. "Ariel," she said gravely. "You ask too many questions. A nice young lady doesn't ask so many questions."

I put the glass bluebird in my hip pocket.

"Now smile and say `Thank You,'" my grandmother instructed me.

I smiled and said "Thank you," but I kept on asking too many questions.

This preface so brilliantly explains the point that Ariel is trying to make with her book. Mixed with equal parts: psychology, history, and autobiography this book examines what women need to be happy, why they can't be happy, and why this status is not okay. Through interviews with psychologist, research in psychological studies, and keeping her own happiness journal with a few other women, Ariel Gore paints a picture of the little things in life that can make people happy and how to actively seek happiness.

I cannot express in words how much I love this book. Sure there are plenty of studies on happiness. Plenty of women who write about their own journey and trying to find happiness, but I think that Ariel provides a good mix of advice and anecdote in simple everyday terms. She looks back on her life, her current status, and takes her own steps to increase her own happiness in doing her research, while at the same time edifying readers with landmark psychological studies and point out their downfalls.

About halfway through this book I told my mother that I was considering buying my own copy to have on the bookshelf. She seemed eager to read it so I picked up a copy on my next trip to The Strand in New York City. Now having reached the end of this book I still maintain that every woman should read this book and then give it to the men in their lives to read. It's a book that will open your eyes and change your outlook on life. Not in the preachy steps to happiness way that only gives the reader one path to follow, but in the form of an ideology that gives women room to "write their own script" as Gore calls it.

Having reached the end of this book I am sorry to have to return it to the library but I have also located some of the texts she references. Texts such as Eat, Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and Victor E. Frankl's Man Searching for Meaning. I look forward to exploring some of the ideas that Gore discussed and seeing how her own research can help me improve upon my own life.

FINAL GRADE: A+ (I'd give it a higher one if one existed.)