Customer Reviews

Boa vs. Python

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(9)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Hey, for a straight to video release, this one ain't so bad. The obvious CGI effects are pretty darned good; the snakes looked part of the action most of the time. In this one, a musclebound big game hunter sneaks a huge python (where he got it, no one bothers to tell us) into the country in order to provide some wealthy businessmen a rare hunting opportunity. Of course, the snake escapes and heads for the sewer system of Philadelphia (of all places). FBI Honcho (played glumly if adequately by Kirk B. R. Woller) contacts a pretty biologist (Playboy's Jaime Bergman) who has been working with dolphins to use her "implants" on a giant boa being harvested by scholarly and almost hunky David Hewlett. They use these implants to track the python through the boa's eyes. Mysteriously enough, the darned machine doesn't work very well (there goes government spending again), so the good guys don't know that the bad guys (the hunters) are also on the prowl for the snake(s). Adam Kendrick as Broddick, the head nasty, chews up both the scenery and his cigars, and throws his considerable weight around, alas to no avail.
Of all the snake movies, and we've had tons, this one isn't the best, but it's certainly not the worst (see SSSSSS...). Anyway, fans of this type of movie shouldn't be too disappointed.

B Movies are meant to be "guilty pleasure" movies ... watched to satisfy those urges, instincts and desires that we're not always ready to admit to openly in public. Featuring various combinations of babe lust, wonton carnage, savage (or not so savage) brutality, far out locations, techno-junky-ism, monsters, weapon fetishes, space ships, mutants, armored vehicles and more babe lust, they come in Horror, Monster, Sci-Fi, Girly and many other sub-varieties. My reviews of such movies take this intentional "guilty pleasure" aspect into account and are written for people who enjoy either watching or making fun of this sort of entertainment at least some of the time. SOME B movies are so well made they really aren't B movies at all, and when I feel I've found one, I'll let you know.

Boa Vs. Python

Featuring David Hewlett (Stargate Atlantis), Jaime Bergman (Playboy) and Angel Boris (Playboy), Boa Vs. Python gets three stars from me as a Monster vs. Monster B movie (Story = 2, Production Values = 3.5, Babe Quality = 4, Exposure = 2 ... and no, my final score of 3 isn't a mathematical average). For me, this movie had the feel of a computer game where the players are pitted against two giant snakes who also happen to be pitted against each other. Bergman and Boris are both very easy on the eyes and will appeal to anyone who enjoys watching Playboy Bunnies troop around video game like sets toting weapons and pseudo-scientific gear ... as long as you're not too disappointed by only brief nudity and a lack of overtly sexual content. As a bunny who's been in several films, Boris's acting is certainly suitable for B movies and won't disappoint folks who are used to the genre. When it comes to B movies, Boris "gets it" and seems to be having fun jiggling around the woods in a lace lined, low cut top, camouflage BDU pants and a gun. Bergman seemed a little less practiced, but more than makes up for it with very appealing looks and a bust line that bounces nicely when she runs in a snug, low cut top. (Remember folks, we're talking guilty pleasures and eye candy here, not Academy Award performances.) David Hewlett has been putting in fan pleasing performances on Stargate Atlantis for a couple of seasons now and definitely added some quality to the overall acting effort of this film in his role as a snake specialist. His presence in the film definitely makes easier the extra level of "suspension of disbelief" required for B movies. It's a genre he'd probably do well to spend more time in.

All in all, this was an enjoyable film for those of us who can enjoy B movies with a "not taking it too seriously" attitude. It lacked the graphic violence, increased skin exposure, sexual content and top notch effects to get more stars on the B-movie scale, but I definitely enjoyed it.

This is about a big game hunter who arranges to have a giant boa (or maybe it's the python) flown in so that he and his fellow hunters can have some fun going after it. But it escapes and gets down into the sewer system. Some government people just happen to have an equally huge python (or maybe it's the boa), so naturaly they decide to release the second snake to hunt down the first. Sounds like a fine idea to me.

Fairly average B movie. I've only seen the edited for TV version, but it looked like the unedited version might have some T&A. The characters are average, acting was average (for a B movie), the action was pretty slow. The snakes are so obviously CGI that watching them fight is more like a video game than a movie. Really no suspense, and when the snakes attack, since they're put in afterwards via computer animation, the actors don't really seem to react to them. That pretty much kills any excitement. The movie doesn't take itself very seriously, and it is somewhat funny in parts. There's a pretty girl in it, which is the only reason I sat through the whole thing.

I rented this movie because, well, uh...I have no idea why I rented this movie but I'm glad I did because Jaime Bergman is one of the most breathtakingly beautiful women I've ever seen in my life. I actually made a "Oh!" sound when she came onscreen. I haven't done that since the Nazi girl in ED GEIN. Sadly, Jaime did not get naked. How rude.

Angel Boris, the other female lead, does get naked for about a minute and while she's nowhere near as hot as Jaime I'm still grateful. Thank you. Also at the very beginning of the movie there is a very good looking waitress.

Oh yea there's also some snakes. The CGI reptiles are pretty bad, but first time director David Flores manages to pull it off and make this film kinda fun thanks to a good sense of humor and some interesting characters including a reporter who blames all of the destruction on Al Queda; a group of gung-ho hunters who kill a rabbit with a hand grenade and a cop who gets excited, slips and falls face first into a pile of guts. "I think you have a piece of liver on your face."

Worth watching as long as you remember not to expect too much from a movie called BOA VS. PYTHON.

This movie rocks. Period. It's a touching, feel-good story about the trials and tribulations of a giant, underprivileged boa constrictor growing up in inner city Chicago. Grab yourself a glass of... milk... and drink every time the FBI agent says something catchy, like you just clicked on a marine in starcraft -- "outstanding", "I'm ready to kick some butt, sir". And chug that glass of leche every time Broddick rips off his shirt to show he means business. Also imbide some dairy goodness every time an 80 foot snake sneaks up on someone without them noticing (two drinks if they get bit in half).

Summary: This movie ROCKS, you will laugh yourself SILLY

In yet another "versus" movie, Hollywood chooses a match-up that is not unlike the others that we have seen in the cinema lately. This time it is between two species of the snake world, boas and pythons.

An enormous python escapes from a truck delivering it to be hunted and captured for money. After terrorizing the sewers of Philadelphia, the FBI enlists the aid of two fellow scientists to remedy the situation. One has been harboring an enormous boa for years, while the other one has beautiful "implants". Together they work to bring this slithering beast of evil down. Little do they know they are not the only ones hot on the trail. A big game animal hunter named Roddick has recruited some of the best hunters in the world to bring this beast down. The battle royale begins as the lines between man vs. nature, man vs. machine, and man vs. man are blurred and new boundaries are set. Who will reign supreme? Find out this SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!

Impressive graphics and an excellent balance between action and gore are what keep this film afloat. This straight to DVD release should have most people laughing, but oddly kept my attention until the very end. The story is flawed, the characters are unbelievable, and the script is amateurish (see constant remarks about "implants" and Monica), but there is something to be said about using good CGI. This is no LOTR, but for a straight to DVD release I was impressed. Director David Flores has done an exceptional job of giving us exactly what we came looking for with this film. We wanted action, some nudity, and tons of snakes, and he successfully handed them to us on a silver platter. If you do not walk into this film with high expectations, you will probably leave impressed.

Grade: ** ½ out of ****

This is an odd film that cashes in on a number of themes. We start out with a wrestling match between to masked wrestlers (Python and Boa). Then we have lots of nudity (a continuing theme). Then we have the bored hunters looking for a new quarry. We even have the secretive government agents who know more than they say and are not surprised by anything. Oh, and there are giant snakes. While the python is related to the Python movies, this is a different boa (the original was prehistoric).

Rich hunter procures the python to be used as a quarry for typical hunter (even included the obligatory good-ole-boy). The Python gets away and the hunt moves to a new location, a water and power station. The Feds move in to seal off the facility and stop the creature. We then add a farm-raised giant boa that will be cybernetically enhanced to catch the python. More sex, nudity and gunplay with some romance (reptilian and mammalian) and the film eventually moves to a conclusion as all groups come together.

Much of the movie does not make a whole lot of sense. First we have the warrior chick who hates snakes. Why does she have a snake tattooed along her spine? We have the scientist how has spent years to develop a universal antitoxin. He says that if his work saves just one life it will all be worth it. Bu he immediately moves to protect the python even though it keeps killing people. Why the cybernetics? A simple camera strapped on the snakes head would have done just as well. If the sensors are keyed to the cybernetics why do they detect the python and hunters? Why are the lone-wolf hunters expected to work as a team? A contest would be more in there personality profiles? What happened to the FBI? They just disappeared to let the main group solve all of the problems.

Still, with a good bowl of fresh popcorn and the right time, this can be quite fun to watch. There is more nudity in this one than is included in any five other similar films. The scene with the python and the lovers in the station wagon is priceless and thoroughly laugh-inducing. Its got plenty of action, nudity, guns, snakes, and plot devices but lacks in script, plot, and sense. Oh, the cover is bogus. No street scenes or battles with helicopters.

When the scientist says that the main point of the movie is the 'stupidest idea he's ever heard'. You know you're in for a treat.

A multi-millionaire sets up a hunt for big game hunters. They are after a 80 foot python. However the snake escapes before the hunt can begin. They go after it anyway. The feds however have a brilliant plan. They find a female scientist is Miami (with the biggest nostrils I've ever scene). She dives with dolphins and can track them by implanting stuff in their heads. They take her to a snake scientist who has grwon a 100 foot boa constrictor (you're tax dollars hard at work). It seems he has been trying to make an all purpose anti-venom by feeding the giant boa poisonous snakes (???)

So they implant the tracking device in the boa and send it out to figh the python before it kills anymore innocent civilians. No one bothered to mention that the boa was female (Betty) and the python was male. So when the meet they don't fight but fornicate (ha ha ha!!!)

The boa finally fights the python only after it ate her eggs.

Anyway the big game hunters (back to them) are a motley crew indeed and are all laid to waste by the snakes in one way or another. The red-head in the fatigues is beautiful and has a great bath tub scene. Full nudity is always a plus in films like these. The millionaire is ripped in half while using a flame thrower in a techno bar. Yes you read that right. You'll have to watch the movie to see how that happens.

All in all a fun film if you don't take it too seriously.

I want "two great snakes that snake great together" engraved on my tombstone.

Also, forget the snakes AND the ladies, check out David Hewlett!

Not a bad Sci-Fi Channel Film. They never release a big hit and maybe never will. Boa Vs Python is a merging of the Boa and Python Films and it does and OK job with an original script and mediocre acting. the best part is the bad characters Girlfriend, can you say "Hot" and david hewlett(stargate atlantis). The FX are better than most of thier films and the ending is a little dry. but OK.