Boat Bastard: A Love/Hate Memoir [Hardcover]

Deborah van Rooyen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 4, 2002

Embark on a thirteen-year journey through the stormy, madcap, on-again, off-again relationship between a Boston advertising art director (van Rooyen) and a Boston advertising film-director-turned-sailor ("The Captain").

Boat Bastard examines the torturous, slightly out of step mating dance that ensues between these two oversize personalities, complete with the requisite break-ups, reconciliations, and bloody bumps and bruises along the way. From Boston and Cape Cod to France, Israel, Jordan, and, finally, the Chesapeake, the Captain navigates this affair on his own terms, until one day, van Rooyen jumps ship.

With enormous wit and deadpan delivery, van Rooyen lays bare the very real experience of being the not-so-perfect woman trying to get it right with the almost-perfect man. In the end, she discovers that much as the Captain cannot seem to eke out much space for her within the confines of his boat, so too fares her claim on the affection within his heart. Van Rooyen finally emerges from the relationship with more than her share of sadness and regret, but also with the dignity that comes from having the strength to walk away.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

The "boat bastard" in question is van Rooyen's lover, "Captain," a newly retired advertising film director with a 36-foot sailing sloop, although he could be any man with a "one-foot-in, one-foot-out" attitude to romance. The author, a creative director in Boston, fell in love with this Hemingway wannabe on a work assignment and spent the next 13 years trying to figure out what to do about him. Life on board ship is enormously frustrating for this otherwise capable woman "I grow stupid on the boat," she confesses, injuring herself constantly, losing verbal skills and losing her sense of self. Her man is so egotistical and emotionally unavailable that parallel troubles surface on shore, whether they're in Amman, Cape Cod, the Chesapeake Bay or France. The memoir's prologue prop a castrated voodoo doll reminds van Rooyen of her anger at the casual slights she's suffered; the retelling of her on-again, off-again romance reminds her of the love she still feels, long after she's jumped ship. Her confessional style is funny and self-deprecating, leaking enough about her own very checkered life (her teen years on a kibbutz, her rescue of her daughter from a kidnapping attempt by her ex, her project consulting to the queen of Jordan on a venture to market Palestinian women's handicrafts) to pique readers' interest and sympathy. Fans of NPR's Satellite Sisters program know the tune: "reader, I love him, but I wasn't getting anything back." Agent, Charles Bell Everitt.
Copyright 2002 Cahners Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Deborah van Rooyen is a writer and award winning creative director based in Boston, Massachusetts. Author of My Grandfather's Brother's Son, published in Israel, she is now working on a new book of memoirs, Jewish in Jordan: A View from the Other Side.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 272 pages
• Publisher: ReganBooks; 1st edition (June 4, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060093544
• ISBN-13: 978-0060093549
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (5 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,461,814 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

1.0 out of 5 stars Sour Grapes, December 23, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: Boat Bastard: A Love/Hate Memoir (Hardcover)

Two horribly mismatched people stumbling through a relationship that didn't have a chance in heck of working. I kept hoping that the protagonist would wake up and dump him if their relationship was as bad as the author describes. I also felt that there are two sides to every story and wondered what the "captain" would say if he could write a book. Was he treated fairly by "The Boat Bastard"? I doubt it. It must be terribly comforting to write a book about a break-up where you can airbrush your own flaws while highlighting those of your ex. Then all you have to do is admit to some not-too-objectionable personal foibles yourself to give the impression that you are being brutally honest.

I didn't enjoy this book and would not recommend it. A more apt title would have been "Sour Grapes".

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't Miss the Boat, June 18, 2002

By 

David McKie (Hamilton New Zealand) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Boat Bastard: A Love/Hate Memoir (Hardcover)

I don't usually read much in this genre but this one is juicy in form and content. Using consistently inventive writing and open-heart surgery with only local aesthetics for protection, the author travels over male-female oceans familiar in their choppy rhythms and treacherous currents. Yet she adds fascination through taking her own distinct bearings, standing on her integrity, getting blown off course, and finally finding safe haven - albeit not in the destination she desired. Despite the pain and love van Rooyen comes over as more than fair to her fellow seatraveller but I can't help but feel she jumped ship just in time. Otherwise he'd have sailed her into a sea of alcoholic despond infested with vapid wasps in what must be one of the inner rings of Hell. In the end, the feisty Jewishness that blocks her acceptance to the class and salt encrusted establishment proves to be a blessing - you need to read to the conclusion to understand what I mean - as Israeli directness rips the thin topsail of upper East Coast America's illusionary inclusiveness into shreds.
Each time my interest began to die down, van Rooyen found a fresh inspiration to keep me reading right through to the finale and even after that she had a unexpectedly entertaining coda of friend's comments. I hope she writes a mystery next time around as this is a talent to enjoy already and to watch in the future.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Brava,Brava,Brava,Brava., June 13, 2002

By 

Genie (New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Boat Bastard: A Love/Hate Memoir (Hardcover)

Congratulations! You have created a masterpeice! You are lovable and forgivable. You are not the victim, nor the victimizer, you are honest, poignant, and funny. I knew you were funny, and sensitive, but I saw a whole different dimension to that in your book. Your intelligence and charm shine like a beacon. You are any woman, and every woman. Including me. I had a very similar relationship, feeling that the object of your affections was always slightly out of reach even though they were seemingly right there to be had. I rushed home from where ever I was to read this book, I was hungry for it. I wished there was more,as I dreadfully feared the arrival of the last page. Your recalling of details was so impressive, but then again, when you give so much of yourself to a relationship, you tend to absorb it all like a sponge, the person becomes your drug. I'm still thinking about the book, it had an effect on me, and I'm speaking objectively! That's what makes a story good, when you are still working it over in your mind. This world is filled with forgettable books, but this is not one of them. God Deb, I loved it, and I love you, and I
could go on forever, but you get the point. Well done...