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Bold Love Paperback – March 1, 1992

4.4 out of 5 stars 66 customer reviews

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Editorial Reviews

From the Back Cover

IF CHRIST HAD PRACTICED THE KIND OF LOVE WE ADVOCATE NOWADAYS, HE WOULD HAVE LIVED TO A RIPE OLD AGE. We’ve come to view love as being nice. Forgiving and forgetting. Yielding to the desires of others. Yet the kind of love modeled by Jesus Christ has nothing to do with manners or unconditional acceptance. Rather, it is shrewd. Disruptive. Courageous. And, as a result, socially unacceptable. In Bold Love, Dr. Dan Allender and Dr. Tremper Longman III draw out the aggressive, unrelenting, passionate power of genuine love. Far from helping you “get along” with others, Bold Love introduces the outlandish possibility of making a significant, life-changing impact on family, friends, coworkers-even your enemies. “Bold love is anything by passive,” writes Dr. Allender. “It is unpredictable, cunning, and creative. It is a violation of the natural order of things. In many cases it will unnerve, offend, disturb, or even hurt those who are being loved. But in the end it will also compel them to deal with the internal disease that is robbing them (and others) of true beauty.” So if it feels like you’ve turned the other cheek so many times your head is spinning, it’s probably time to take a second look at your practice of love. Because there’s nothing redemptive about a love that just accepts people for who they are.

About the Author

Dr. Dan B. Allender received his MDiv from Westminster Theological Seminary and his PhD in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University.

Dan taught in the Biblical Counseling Department of Grace Theological Seminary for seven years (1983–1989). From 1989–1997 Dan worked as professor in the Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling program at Colorado Christian University, Denver, Colorado. Currently, Dan serves as Professor of Counseling Psychology and President at Mars Hill Graduate School (MHGS.edu) in Seattle, Washington.

He travels and speaks extensively to present his unique perspective on sexual abuse recovery, love and forgiveness, worship, and other related topics. He is the author of The Wounded Heart (NavPress), and has coauthored four books with Dr. Tremper Longman III, Intimate Allies (Tyndale), The Cry of the Soul (NavPress), Bold Love (NavPress), and Breaking the Idols of Your Heart (IVP). Dan and his wife, Rebecca, have three children and live in Seattle, Washington.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: NavPress; Reprint edition (March 15, 1992)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0891097031
  • ISBN-13: 978-0891097037
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 9 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 15.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (66 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #27,876 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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More About the Author

Dr. Dan B. Allender has pioneered a unique and innovative approach to trauma and abuse therapy over the past 25 years. Central to Dr. Allender's approach are the categories of Faith, Hope and Love and their converse betrayal, ambivalence, and powerlessness. Through engaging these categories and in learning to identify them in one's personal story, healing and transformation can occur by bridging the story of the gospel and the stories of trauma and abuse that mark so many.

Having received his Master of Divinity from Westminster Theological Seminary, Dr. Allender went on to earn his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Michigan State University. Dan taught in the Biblical Counseling Department of Grace Theological Seminary for seven years (1983-1989). From 1989-1997, Dan worked as professor in the Master of Arts in Biblical Counseling program at Colorado Christian University, Denver, Colorado. In 1997, Dan with a cadre of others founded The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology in order to train therapists and pastors to more effectively serve in the context of the 21st century. Dan served as President of The Seattle School from 2002-2009.

Dan continues to serves as Professor of Counseling Psychology at The Seattle School. He travels and speaks extensively to present his unique perspective on sexual abuse recovery, love & forgiveness, worship, and other related topics. Dan is the author of The Wounded Heart and The Healing Path and has co-authored several books with Dr. Tremper Longman (Intimate Allies, The Cry of the Soul, Bold Love and Bold Purpose).

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I saw Dan Allender speak at one of Willow Creek Church's conferences in 2005. God has gifted him well - Dan is an excellent teacher. I love his style, so I bought this book.

I bought this book months before I started reading it. I had prayed for help in loving people - something I was struggling with.

I bought it because of a few of the things it says on the cover - "Know the difference between loving an evil person, a fool, and a normal sinner; How to love an abusive person without opening yourself up to more damage." I experienced this as one of those books I would want to take my time with, drink in slowly - one of those books that would teach wisdom as well as point out areas in my own life on which I needed to work.

Be warned, Dan doesn't pull his punches - truth, as any good discipline, does not always feel good. This book will convict you where you need it.

Dan writes/speaks with an honesty, humility, beauty and passion that I haven't experienced in many other books of this type. He speaks from experience, with a wisdom that can only be gained from that school of hard knocks, as well as a passion to share the truth and beauty of the Gospel. The book is everything I hoped it would be.
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Format: Paperback
What does it mean to "honor" a wicked parent? How do you love an abusive person without opening yourself up to more damage? What happens when you can't forgive and forget?

With a few exceptions, I generally write reviews of books I like which means I'm somewhat biasing the overall Amazon rankings. But let me say that of all the books I like or love, none has influenced my life more than Dan Allender's Bold Love. I say life because it has impacted so many areas from my relationships to my politics to my theology to my marriage. The book is about what it really means to love someone, anyone from the love of your life to an abuser to your greatest enemy. The crux of the message is that love is not forgive and forget attitude but rather one that admits the pain and hurt that has been caused and confronts it. But the purpose of the confrontation is really the key to the book. The purpose is not to cover your bases or get it off your chest to enable to move on and have closure. What was revolutionary to me at the time of reading was that it pointed me back to the object of love, the other. It solidified the fact that evil committed against you must be admitted and the accuser must be confronted. This is difficult and thus the "Bold" in the title. But the underlying belief is that no person is beyond saving. No person is beyond to hope of reconciliation.

The authors are Christians. Dan Allender is a counselor with many years of experience. Tremper Longman is a top-notch Old Testament Scholar who writes one of the chapters in the book himself and assists in writing the rest. Why bring an Bible scholar into a discussion of interpersonal relationships? Because their model for reconciliation is God's reconciliation with man.
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Format: Paperback
Most of the first 100 pages were very slow plowing with some difficulty in accepting certain parts of the premise and groundwork. They turn out to be helpful in establishing those precepts for the last 200 plus pages which were pure pith and wore out a highlighter. This is not a be-all, end-all resolution. It is, however, a vital portion of any Christians toolbox. Knowing the enemy and approaches to deal with various aspects are essential tools. Not a fill-in-the-blank recipe, but a thought provoking knowledge base to allow God to use the talents He has given you for you to be more effective in doing battle with the enemy.
NOT for those who want to stay on milk!
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Format: Hardcover
This book after CS Lewis' "Mere Christianity" and JI Packer's "Knowing God" has been the most influential book for me outside of the Bible. Lewis's book gave me a reason to have faith. Packer's book gave meat to my faith. "Bold Love" revolutionized the way I love, live, and forgive. It cuts to the heart and challenges the deep seated sinful motivations. It is real and authentic in that it deals with life as it is - with all its ugliness and sin. It has deepened my understanding of how much God really loves me and how much grace has truly been shown me. One reviewer found this book wordy, which I can see why, but in my eyes "Bold Love" is beautifully eloquent and communicates God to us in a fresh new way. The same reviewer also found the theology of the book poor which I have to disagree with strongly. It is thoroughly solid book theologically and the positive testimonies of many well-known and diverse Christian authors attests to that. I recommend this book with no reservations whatsoever!
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Format: Paperback
I read this book probably 7 or 8 years ago and still find myself going back to the principles taught therein. It has shaped the way I relate to myself and others (currently it is helping me relate lovingly to my 12 year old foster son who has major behavior issues). And I still recommend it and use its priciples when talking to friends who are going through major life problems (divorce, marital infidelity, rebellious kids, etc.).

The fact that I incorporated this book's teaching into my life makes it stand out from most books, which I read, enjoy, and then forget. This is a great book and worth the time and effort to read. As others have mentioned, the first part of the book is tough sledding, but it's necessary preparation for the rest of the book.
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