Customer Reviews

Boldtext Pew Bible: King James Version

5 star:		(124)
4 star:		(17)
3 star:		(13)
2 star:		(13)
1 star:		(85)

 

 

If you must read this book, just check it out from a library or borrow it- you wont pick it up again.

I just couldn't suspend my disbelief long enough. This "God" character loves us, doesn't love us, loves us... He just needs to make up his mind. In that respect (and more) he's not a very well thought out character. Him and the Jesus fellow. I first thought he was his son, but then he turns out to be him... but still his son... It kinda seems like the author just stole that idea from "Fight Club" but butchered it.

Just wait for the movie, hopefully the special effects will save this awful book.

The "Bad Guy" kills FAR FAR fewer people than the "Good Guy". The translation is poor. The morals presented are often contradictory to those presented earlier in the book.

Someone needs to send this back to the author for another go.

In all seriousness, this book could stand a better editor. The plot is meandering, at best, and major characters lack any real motivation, and worse yet, will vanish for huge swaths of time with no explanation. The author is also guilty of constantly writing himself into corners and needing to employ dues ex machinas to repair his faulty story.

I would suggest readers instead look into other popular fantasy stories, such as George R.R. Martin's Song of Ice and Fire books, or even the classic stand by, The Lord of the Rings.

This is the epic story of a bumbling demiurge that just can't seem to catch a break when it comes to fixing his own vast comedy of errors. The book's protagonist is introduced quite expeditiously by the authors. Within the first few pages, he is masterfully portrayed as a jealous, merciless, bloodthirsty egomaniac. His twisted and sadistic narcissism is generously peppered throughout the story; he suffers from seemingly random fits of depravity and rage that result in mass genocide, misogyny, rape, incest, torture, human sacrifice, and gruesome dismemberment.

At the onset of the story, he creates a beautiful planet, which he almost immediately allows to become tainted with evil, suffering, and death. He decides to try his hand at creating beings with free will, who quickly turn around and reject him. He punishes the evildoers and the wicked, but this miserably fails at thwarting the spread of evil. The planet soon becomes so corrupted and polluted that he must drown nearly every life form on the planet, including women, children and infants. After the waters subside, the patriarch of the remaining survivors promptly gets drunk, then passes out naked inside his tent.

Though this global flood had been sent to eradicate evil, it utterly failed to do so. The remaining survivors and their descendants spread throughout the land, and within a matter of years, forgot entirely about god, becoming just as wicked as the people that god had earlier drowned.

He then arbitrarily adopts a tribe of goat herders as his "people" and persistently attempts to redeem them from their fallen grace. He somehow forgets about his promise to protect his "people", and they are almost immediately enslaved by the Egyptians. Over hundreds of years, the majority of these people were born as slaves, and also died as such, waiting for a deliverance that was little more than a lie. Our protagonist never even explains why he allowed this to happen. Before he finally does decide to free his people, he deliberately coerces the leader of Egypt to refuse the Israelites' pleas for freedom by "hardening his heart". Following numerous pestilences and the slaughter of tens of thousands of innocent firstborn Egyptian children, god finally frees his people...and immediately strands them in a desert for four decades.

During this time, he burdens them with an exhaustive list of tenuous rules: What kind of clothes to wear, what kind of food/meat they were allowed to eat, how to sacrifice animals to him, what days they were allowed to work, instructions on mutilating their genitals for him, etc. He addresses those who contravene his arbitrary rules by exploding into tantrums, killing not just the offender, but frequently scores of innocent people around him. At one point, god deliberately allows his arch-nemesis to mercilessly torment one of his most devout followers, simply to win a bet and satisfy his own bottomless ego.

His flamboyant final attempt to save the world from its transgressions was to impregnate a Jewish teenager with himself so he could sacrifice himself to himself in order to sit beside himself in order to save the world from himself because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat fruit from a magical tree. After waking up from the dead, god promises to return to earth before his newly assembled fan club dies out. He utterly fails to do this, so they create a new religion called Christianity, and the church that was formed almost immediately splintered into several squabbling sects because they could not agree as to what their god wanted.

At this point, God could have simply straightened this mess up by telling his followers what he wanted. True to form, he fails to do so; in fact, he decides to completely stop talking to his people.

Ultimately, our main character's promise to return to earth so he can ultimately straighten up humankind has proven to be empty. But when he does, he's going to throw a temper tantrum to end all tantrums and kill the vast majority of people on the planet (again). Unfortunately, this time around, the people wont really be dead because their souls will be undergoing eternal torment in hell.


Overall, the story itself is a contradictory, disjointed, and overall incoherent work. But if you enjoy slasher flicks (and don't mind a similarly thin plot), it's worth two bloody thumbs up.

I really liked this book as a kid. I was certain that it's many entertaining stories about betrayal, trust, kindness, sodomy, etc. Were leading me into a life of happy sunshine gumdrop jelly rolls. I was mistaken.

As a child I wasn't aware that ALL of the stories in this book (which are presented as fact) were passed down orally for 400 or more years before ever being written down!

The uncredited 'author' J.C. wasn't actually the author at all... just a bummer of a read now that I'm through with my middle school science courses.

I found this book to be full of inconsistencies and it seemed to be written by old hippies on LSD, as the stories sound far too fantastic to be believed. All this talk about a 'virgin birth', an ark, a ghost rising from the dead, and some dude walking on water are head shakers.I don't recommend this long-winded, large book as 'light' reading.I was bored after reading it for 15 minutes.

Keep this crazy book away from children, regardless all that scientific evidence that proves the age of our planet to be 4,5 billion years old it claims to be 6000 years old. Now that is a shame for 21st century modern people. That alone is just enough prove its stupidity. If somebody gives it to you as a present that would be an insult to your intelligence if you have one. Peace!

This book claims its a work of non-fiction yet it is lacking in its citations. It is very hard to to believe the author's claim that the book is based on fact. Mentioning the author, I cant seem to find him either. If I turned in a piece of work like this into one of my professors, they would probably laugh at me and tell me to get my head out of the clouds and work on something more realistic, like bigfoot.

This is possibly the worst political thriller I have ever read. It is full of implausible events, continuity errors and bad grammar. It follows the story of a dictator called "God" who basically rules the world and punishes anybody who does not worship him. The book is split into two parts - the first is about the genocide, homicide and other atrocities caused by God. The second is chiefly about God's son, Jesus, whom God had with a virgin. The second is by far the best - Jesus is a rebel, and goes against everything his father ever stood for. The end result is that he is crucified.

The rest of the book is complete trash. If you want a decent political novel read 1984.

This leatherette-encapsulated 788,280-word juju came to me highly recommended by certain of my acquaintances. Some of them even wear it around their neck 24/7, stroking it in times of anxiety, reportedly producing a warm, tingling feeling in the loins. Their greatest praise, however, is reserved for its alleged wish-fulfilling powers.

Donning my consumer advocate hat, I decided to conduct an impartial and scientific laboratory test of this claim. From my nearest supermarket I randomly selected a bag of common beans (Phaseolus vulgaris) from the shelf. These I took home, spilled onto a cookie sheet, and randomly selected 100 beans. These random beans I sowed in ten rows of ten in a square planter filled with moistened potting soil, randomly purchased from a nursery. Covering the planter with a wet linen cloth, I placed it in my basement at a uniform 20 degrees Celsius for 96 hours. Removing the cloth, I placed little number signs from 1 to 100 next to each sprout, and deposited the planter on a table in my back yard. Each morning I carefully poured 40 cc of distilled water on each plant. All plants received the same amount of sunlight. Each evening I assiduously offered up a prayer to the Almighty that He should make the even-numbered bean plants grow taller than their odd-numbered counterparts.

After a number of days had passed, the beans had waxed tall--all of them. There was no statistically significant difference in their heights (less than one standard deviation). This I found perplexing, because I was sure I had followed the appropriate wish-fulfillment protocol, not even neglecting to mutter, "In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti, Amen" at the end of each incantation. What had gone wrong?

Just then my neighbor, Ned Flanders, happened by. He cleared up this apparent anomaly by offering his sage advice, "People who think God doesn't answer prayers just won't take 'no' for an answer!" That was it! God had just said, "No."

So, if your crops are withering and your family is starving and you pray for rain--then, if it should rain, God has said, "Yes." If it doesn't rain, God has said, "No." The implication is obvious. This tautological juju ("Yes or No is True") has no observable effect on the real world, and is therefore irrelevant. Except as a placebo--worth one star.