Customer Reviews

The Book for Guys Who Don't Want Kids

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(7)

 

 

I think this is an amiable book for guys who are apprehensive about stepping into the role of "Dad".

That being said, I'm incredibly confused by all the negative reviews by people who found the title of the book misleading. I think there are 2 reviews at this time by men who were about to become parents and didn't like the book. Fair enough; everyone's entitled to an opinion. It's all these other 1-star reviews by people who insist that not everyone is cut out for fatherhood. I don't think anyone, including the author, would dispute that fact.

There are those who, as described in these reviews, put time and thought into their decision, and have concluded that parenthood is not for them; fine. But then why, exactly, are they looking for books about not wanting children?

When I first came across this book, its purpose seemed incredibly obvious to me: This book is written for the average guy who's afraid of having his life run by a miniature person. He doesn't know what having a kid would really, truly be like, and so he's expecting the worst. If his wife or girlfriend were to inform him that she had no wish to have children, he may (or may not) see this as a major relief. But he's kind of expecting that at some point he'll be called upon to raise a kid or two, or more, and he's just not looking forward to it. The book addresses these issues and tries to reassure the reader that having kids does not equate to a life of misery.

Getting back to the reviews by people who know for a fact that they do not want children: what were THEY expecting from this book? Is there really that big of a market for non-parenting books for people who don't want to be parents? Is it that these people are looking for some reassurance from an author that their decision is OK? Or is it that they're looking for some understanding from an author about their choices? Either argument seems kind of weak to me.

I'm honestly surprised that people who don't want children are considering buying books about REALLY not wanting children, and therefore find Scott Kelby's book to be some sort of marketing scheme designed to trick them in some way. I, for one, do not read books about those of us who choose NOT to pursue high-income/high-stress careers because we know that's not the lifestyle we want to live. Nor am I interested in wasting my time or money on a book about NOT liking cats. There are loads of categories that I DO NOT fall into. Reading and reviewing books about things I'm NOT interested in also happens to be one of them.

I've spoken to literally hundreds of childfree men. One thing I can assure you of is that the overwhelming majority of them have put a great deal of thought into deciding whether or not parenthood is the right choice for them, and have come to their decision after much introspection.

This book is simply one more swipe at men. Our movies, television shows and commercials portray us as buffoons. We're considered "uncivilized" until we're married, and "immature" until we're fathers, as if either will cure us of these "afflictions." How many failed marriages are there? How many unhappy parents? Both marriage and parenthood can be very fulfilling ventures, but should be undertaken if they're treated seriously, and gone into willingly.

Neither marriage nor parenthood is the best life decision for everybody. And if you're unsure or actively against becoming a father, and all it takes to change your mind on this huge a decision is a book that couldn't even crack 100 pages, then God help your offspring.

When I found this book on a search on titles I was overjoyed. It would have been the PERFECT gift for more than one of my male friends aND more than one couple with whom I am friends. 'Guys' (and couples) who *don't want kids*.

I was just about to buy at least five copies, until I read what the book was REALLY about. It would have been better entitled "The book for Guys who Don't Want Kids but are Stupid Enough to Give in and Have them Anyway" (or, possibly, "Guys Who Really Do Want Kids, After All").

Why do I keep reading things around here on the theme of 'people who don't want kids don't 'really' know what they want and just need to be talked into it. And of course males who do not want children are not really 'men', just 'guys'. Sighs.

A man who does not want children but winds up with them anyway, is either massively STUPID or someone who actually DID, on some level, want children.

I think that it is a monumental disservice to address this book to "Guys Who Don't Want Kids", the taste that it leaves behind is an implication that "even though you don't want them, you should/will have them anyway, so you need to learn how to raise them."

There is a concommitant implication that people who don't want to have children are just deluding themselves. Do we really need anything more that even indirectly reinforces the societal concept that 'everyone' should have children, even if they do not want them and/or think that they would not be good parents, that they just need some words of wisdom and a hearty push to change them over into good little mommies and daddies to be?

It is NOT necessarily 'different when it is your own', and people who know that they do not want children (men or women) are unlikely to be good or willing parents, unless THEY change their minds themsleves- and then this is really a moot point because they will no longer be people who don't want kids.

As far as I am concerned this sort of thing addressed to men who don't want kids is one more little piece in the arsenal of the sort of person who will assume that a partner who does not want children can be brought around with a skipped birth control pill and a little talking to.

With such a title, it should be about men who do NOT want to be fathers, why , why parenthood is a choice, not compulsory, and how men can protect themselves legally and financially against women who think it is absolutely their right to "Oops" men into fatherhood. (Note : I am a woman, and I have been disgusted through the years at the number of women I've met who openly state they want a baby "so they can stay home all day", "so he can't leave me", etc.These selfish women often excuse themselves by believing "he'll love it when it's here"-but not all men do. And children deserve parents who are BOTH equally committed to having children.) Cutesy books telling reluctant fathers, 'oopsed' or not, how fun fatherhood is , do an important topic a disservice. My advice to men who are not ambivalent about fatherhood : Get a vasectomy. And if one of your daddy buddies gives you (his 'nonfather' friend) this book, return it to him-inserted sideways!

After years of not wanting children, then living with 2 youngsters and mom, then an unexpected pregnancy with initial anger and fear; reading many other perspective other than staying stuck in my own patterns is a relief and has helped open me up to some broader views, and I'm now looking forward to the new experience.

As many commenters have noted, the title is indeed misleading. This is not a book for men who do not want kids, but a screed by the author as to why he thinks they're all wrong.

The book opens by the author (obliviously) admitting he is unqualified to write such a book, since he is not a doctor or a college professor. Unaware that his lack of credentials leave him completely unable to judge which of his experiences are personal, and which are universal, he then professes to be qualified since he is something "far more important" than a doctor or professor: he is a dad.

The book's premise is that men who are wary of fatherhood must have this condition because they fear giving up their free time; they would rather be watching Sportcenter or going out to eat. This stereotype is based on the fact that this was the reason he and his friend "didn't want" kids. (One is left to wonder here if they *really* didn't want children, wouldn't they have sought mates who felt the same way and used birth control?) This is where that PhD might have come in handy; a qualified social scientist might recognize a diverse array of reasons men avoid childhood, such as not enjoying the company of children, feeling a calling to dedicate their whole life to another purpose, or simply thinking it is a momentous task best undertaken by the truly devoted, etc.

He then goes on to expound on how all these motivations will disappear once the child arrives, since one will prefer spending time with their child. Kelby's projection of his own experience onto ALL men is not just narcissistic here, it is dangerous. Again, someone who has studied the diversity of people, societies, and variations between human minds might be able to explain whether this actually happens to each and every father. If not, and if readers take Kelby's word as truth, the author might have just ruined the lives of many children.

If someone is really interested in reading aboutthe varied experiences of fatherhood, in seeking guidance on making this momentous decision, or in finding a book actually for men who don't want children, they best look elsewhere. There are many out there by qualified professionals who know how to properly address such subjects, and who don't think their overinflated egos are a substitute for hard work and dilligent study. There are also plenty that don't need to resort to dirty tricks like misleading titles to sell books.

I purchased this book in hopes of finding a male perspective in the new father area. (it also gave me bonus points with my wife! ;) )

I had high hopes however, this book really let me down. The perspective was materialistic, trite and just not funny. I mean how old is the dirty diaper changing by incompetent father joke? It just wasn't orginal and seems to be written by a guy who doesn't care what goes into the pages as long as it adds up to a book he can sell.

In the end I am still looking for a book that has a good "dad" perspective.

No meat. Not a lot of depth. Just words and rambling. A big disappointment. This seems to be just words slapped on pages and put up for sale by a publisher maybe out of obligation?

Not really an inspiration for those of us who have not come to terms with being a father.

J

"The Book for Guys Who Don't Want Kids" book has changed my perspective on having children. We are adopting a girl from China and should be travelling in December to go and get her. I am 46 and my fear is that I am too old to have children (my wife is only 32). Since reading your book, I have "gotten on the band wagon". Thanks for writing it. I have loaned it to a friend whose wife is due any day and he has been hesitant (even though he did all of the doctor's appointments with her) about having this baby. He read your book in one night and now is so excited to be able to do things now with his baby boy!

Scott Kelby's book, "The Book for Guys Who Don't Want Kids" is a wonderful book!
I love this book! I wish it was written years ago when my wife and I first decided to have children. Reading the book now as a proud father of three kids, I found myself nodding, smiling, laughing out loud, and an occasional tear in my eye.
The author has written a book that speaks to the hearts and minds of all men.
Kelby walks you through all the stages of becoming a dad in a humorous conversation style read. He covers everything from the fear of being a good dad to changing poopy diapers. This book makes you realize that becoming a dad doesn't change who you are, it only makes you better. I always believed I would love my children but I never knew how much I was going to love being a dad. This Christmas I'm buying copies for all my non-dad male friends.