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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
so-so,
By
This review is from: Born (DVD)
How do you go from Hannah Montana to giving birth do a demon child for Satan? That's what Alison Brie has done. In "Born," she is the pawn in an attempt by one of hell's demons (Kane Hodder) to regain his soul. Essentially, if he can get his sister pregnant with a demon child, have her kill six people, and then present the child to Satan, he believes he will be freed from the thirteenth level of hell, where he enjoys employment as a torturer.
The first part of his deal works, and soon Mary Elizabeth (Brie) is pregnant, having gained 15 pounds during the first night. She is, it is verified, a virgin, and so the church sends a priest to spy on her. Gradually, her fetus grows (as we see repeatedly on ultrasound), and Mary Elizabeth begins to claim the victims her fetus requires. Meanwhile, two blond twins (Julie Costello and Shawnie Costello wander about silently, wearing silver gowns in the first half of the movie and nothing in the second half. No, their presence is never really explained. "Born" is a lackluster addition to the long list of movies featuring demon children (and other things that shouldn't come out of humans), a list that includes The Omen and sequels, It's Alive and sequels, Begotten, First Born, Rosemary's Baby, Masters of Horror - Pro-Life, and many others. I'd recommend going with one of the films in this list.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
The best thing about this movie finally coming out on DVD is that I can finally give it the review it deserves.,
By
This review is from: Born (DVD)
Born (Richard Friedman, 2007)
This is a movie that wanted to be big. Really, really big. And somehow, Richard Friedman (Doom Asylum) managed to blow it in every possible way-- the script, the casting, the direction, everything. This is a movie that should have stayed in the womb. Better yet, it should have never been conceived. Mary Elizabeth (Mad Men's Alison Brie, the film's only bright spot) gets herself in the family way, despite being a virgin. Her fundamentalist sister Catherine (Star Trek: The Next Generation's Denise Crosby) is really unhappy with this development, though their father doesn't seem all that concerned. Now, I should mention that this story is being told in flashback by a guy (Friday the 13th's Kane Hodder) who claims to be the devil. He's talking to a psychiatrist, Dr. Sammael (Joan Severance). Are you starting to see how this thing was just derailed from frame one? In any case, it seems Mary Elizabeth is either pregnant with the second coming or the Antichrist, and she has to figure out which one, who's working for which side, and whom she can trust. I could have told her one thing-- she can't trust either Richard Friedman or screenwriter Alex D'Lerma (who also has a small role in the film as a priest). Friedman, at least, shows us her best side now and again. She's a pretty good actress, when she's not being coached to go way over the top, and she's certainly easy enough on the eyes (that's one good thing about this movie-- there are quite a few very attractive actresses in it). Unfortunately, unless that alone is reason enough for you to take in a film, this won't do it for you. The plot is there, but it's razor-thin and tends to fade into the background. The actors are, in the main, not awful, but they're not given a great deal to work with. And the special effects are just plain laughable. It could be argued that this is a movie that gets so terribly off base in so many ways that it achieves a kind of greatness, in the same way Night of the Lepus or Beware! The Blob does, but that's a matter of personal preference. I wasn't quite impressed enough by its badness to elevate it to such a status; you may be. * ½
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
STILLBORN,
By
This review is from: Born (DVD)
Satan gets busy again and impregnates a young virgin. This time he uses a surrogate and the impregnator is a demon torturer from the 13th level of hell and the preg-nee is his human virgin sister Mary. Incest. Good, wholesome family fun. And the mother-to-be is named Mary. Hmmmmm.....coincidence?
What does the movie have? Kane Hodder without his Jason hockey mask as the demon. Severed heads. Human hearts eaten demurely off a china plate. Denise Crosby playing her specialty, a hysterical, demented broad. A pasty-faced rubbery red-lipped albino named Ivan. Twin chicks who appear dressed in slinky gowns the first half of the movie. The same chicks naked the second half of the movie. A assassin priest who walks around with a semi-automatic and silencer in his hollowed-out bible. A pregnant belly trap-door to visit a hand-puppet demon child. Actors sticking their heads through floor-boards to pretend their heads are severed. Satan in high heels. What does the movie lack? A story that makes sense. Good actors. To sum it up-the movie is not even worthy of a night of MST3K, but I'm glad I watched it. Sometimes watching a stupid movie may even save your soul.....NOT.
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